Chapter 19: When Lost, Only Then Do We Learn to Treasure

Lu Jingyao entered the dormitory, downcast and heartbroken, waking up Liu Muhan, who was nearly asleep on the top bunk.

She mumbled sleepily, “Lu Jingyao, you have mail—I put it under your blanket.”

“Oh, thanks!”

Lu Jingyao became a little more alert and retreated to her own bed; she didn’t want anyone to see her weakness.

But Liu Muhan sensed something was wrong, half-peeking out from under her covers, her head dangling over the edge of the top bunk like a cat curiously peering down.

“What’s wrong, Sister Jingyao? Are you feeling unwell?”

“No.”

Lu Jingyao quickly wiped her tears with her blanket, afraid Liu Muhan would see.

Just as Liu Muhan was about to pull her head back, Lu Jingyao suddenly remembered something.

“Muhan, can you lend me twenty yuan?”

“Twenty yuan?”

Liu Muhan paused, sat up, grabbed her coat, and started rummaging through her wallet.

As she searched, she asked, “Sister Jingyao, why do you need twenty yuan? Is there an emergency at home?”

“No… it’s for our literature society dinner… I want to pay Qian Shun back as soon as possible.”

Lu Jingyao hesitated, then told Liu Muhan the truth—though she left out the part about Qian Shun getting drunk and losing control.

Liu Muhan’s hand paused for a moment, then she pulled out twenty yuan and handed it to Lu Jingyao.

“Thank you, Muhan—I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”

“You don’t have to rush repaying me, but I need to say something to you.”

Liu Muhan said seriously, “Sister Jingyao, we’re adults now—we can’t be as naive as teenagers, blindly trusting everyone.

This world is complicated. Some people seem kind to you, but they may have no good intentions; others seem cruel, but may harbor no malice.”

Lu Jingyao didn’t quite understand and asked awkwardly, “Muhan, what do you mean by that?”

Liu Muhan sighed helplessly. “Think about He Xue and the others—what real help have they ever given you? Think about your ex-boyfriend—what support did he ever offer?

All false affection crumbles under the weight of material reality. To devalue those who truly gave for you, just to chase a few talkative ‘close friends’ who offer empty words of ‘concern’…”

“Don’t you know He Xue and the others are just waiting to laugh at you?”

Liu Muhan finished speaking and pulled back under her covers to warm up.

But Lu Jingyao’s heart remained unsettled for a long time.

“Laugh at me? Am I not already a joke today?”

Lu Jingyao felt a pang of pain. Today, she had quietly planned to borrow money from He Xue and the others to pay the bill, to protect the dignity she valued most.

But He Xue had loudly blabbed it to everyone, exposing Lu Jingyao’s poverty and embarrassment.

Even though He Xue later claimed it was unintentional, was that really unintentional?

Recalling what had happened when they first entered university months ago, Lu Jingyao already had her answer.

Back then, everyone had been chatty and close, as if they were sisters.

But soon, subtle rifts began to appear.

Liu Muhan came from a wealthy family—her belongings were complete, many even genuine “luxury items.”

Lu Jingyao, sensitive and self-reliant, rarely touched others’ things, but He Xue and the others were careless, casually taking and using whatever they wanted.

At first, Liu Muhan didn’t mind, but when He Xue repeatedly took Liu Muhan’s soap, shampoo, and face cream and gave them as gifts to senior students in the student union, Liu Muhan grew resentful.

Though she seemed like a delicate Jiangnan girl, Liu Muhan had firm principles—sharing within the dorm was one thing, but using my things to show off and curry favor? How dare you?

But He Xue didn’t care, got into a huge argument with Liu Muhan, calling her “stingy,” “bourgeois,” and so on, swearing she’d repay double.

But months have passed, and Lu Jingyao has never seen He Xue repay Liu Muhan.

A bar of soap costs no more than one or two yuan—can’t He Xue spare that much?

And today, the stingy Liu Muhan lent Lu Jingyao twenty yuan at once, while He Xue, fully aware of Lu Jingyao’s poverty, dragged her into treating everyone.

“Sigh~~”

Lu Jingyao sighed, pulling her mail from under the blanket.

【Three letters?】

She looked—there was one from her younger brother, one from Xia Yue, and one from Li Ye.

After a brief pause, she opened her brother’s letter first.

After reading Lu Zixue’s letter in one go, Lu Jingyao felt heavy with worry.

Even across a thousand miles, she could feel her brother’s resentment and grievance—but she felt utterly powerless against it.

The matter was simple: if she bought Lu Zixue a bicycle, his hardship would vanish immediately.

But who could give her a bicycle? Especially a Phoenix brand?

Only Li Ye could.

Last time, Lu Jingyao wrote to Li Ye, asking him to return the Phoenix bike to Lu Zixue first, promising to repay him slowly.

She thought the plan was fine—but after today, she began to doubt it.

For just thirty yuan, Qian Shun had dragged her into the dark, demanding to “walk together.”

How much was Li Ye’s 26-inch Phoenix bike?

With a ticket, it cost over 160 yuan; without one, even 200 yuan wouldn’t get you one.

Two hundred yuan was astronomical to the Lu family.

Why should he give it to you?

Did you hug him? Hide with him under the covers?

Li Ye owes you nothing.

“Sigh~”

Lu Jingyao sighed again and opened Xia Yue’s letter.

She still felt close to this former best friend—they shared similar backgrounds, both humble origins, both self-reliant and confident, both yearning for a free future.

In past days, they had encouraged and supported each other emotionally, weathering the hardest times together.

But when Lu Jingyao finished reading Xia Yue’s letter, she froze for a long while.

【That connection kid Li Ye got into the fast class through backdoor connections.】

【That connection kid Li Ye snitched on me and got me removed as class monitor,】

【That dog landlord Li Ye secretly crammed English—he’ll probably chase after you to Beijing to ruin your life again…】

In all four pages of the letter, Lu Jingyao felt no trace of “self-reliance” or “confidence”—only the same “resentment” and “grievance” as her brother’s.

But what Lu Jingyao cared about wasn’t Xia Yue’s resentment—it was Li Ye’s rapid improvement in English.

“His English has already surpassed Xia Yue—will he really take the entrance exam for the Foreign Languages Academy next year?”

“If Li Ye gets into the Foreign Languages Academy, will I have to honor my father’s promise?”

Long ago, Lu Jingyao’s father had publicly promised Li Ye, “If you get into university, I won’t stand in your way.”

Back then, Lu Jingyao had been furious, thinking her father had been forced into compromise.

But now, it seemed her father was the true master of worldly wisdom, foreseeing everything.

If Li Ye enters the Foreign Languages Academy next year, will their relationship naturally resume?

Thinking of this, Lu Jingyao suddenly felt shame—she felt a little… despicable.

But deep down, she also felt a faint hope.

If Li Ye were by her side, would Qian Shun dare treat her like that just now?

Li Ye might be simple-minded, but his fists were no ordinary strength.

And just his looks alone could make countless suitors feel ashamed and retreat.

Li Ye didn’t understand literature or poetry—but he was a college student.

The glow of a college student could overshadow countless flaws, making him an equal match for her.

……

“Huh?”

With hopeful anticipation, Lu Jingyao opened Li Ye’s letter—only to find it contained the very letter she had written to him days earlier.

After carefully flipping through it, she finally saw Li Ye’s reply written on the back of the paper.

Then, Lu Jingyao was utterly stunned.

Li Ye’s words were fierce, his questions absolute—she was caught completely off guard.

And his final sentence was like a bucket of ice water, drenching her from head to toe.

【If you chose to pursue your freedom, why should you interfere in my life? Why should I be magnanimous and give the bike to your brother?】

【Don’t contact me again. A swan that has flown into the sky must not bother the frog at the bottom of the well—even if one day he becomes a prince, he has nothing to do with you.】

After a long silence, Lu Jingyao whispered, “He… hates me this much…”

A powerful sense of loss rose from deep within her heart, spreading swiftly through her entire body.

Only when lost do we learn to cherish—once something is missed, it will never return.