Chapter 434

Sui Sui lived in the Marquis of Jinyang Residence, spending several years like an invisible nobody.

When she was nine, her grandmother suddenly called her close, addressing her as "my heart and flesh."

Sui Sui was at a loss.

She dazedly accepted her grandmother's sudden concern and care, as well as the jealousy of the other sisters.

She had been called "Sui Sui" for several years in the Residence, and now she finally had a name.

Xu Yuefu.

To be honest, Sui Sui was frightened at first.

Later, her feelings became complicated.

She was somewhat afraid of her grandmother's gaze when it fell on her.

But when someone values her and someone dotes on her, life can be a bit easier.

No need to fight dogs for food, no need to be secretly pinched and pricked by those aunts and matrons.

At least, living was no longer so difficult.

Sui Sui blankly thought that she ought to be content.

After another year of adjustment, Sui Sui did not know what her grandmother's feelings toward her were.

Hot and cold, sometimes overly enthusiastic, sometimes giving her a cold stare.

Just after her tenth birthday, her grandmother suddenly summoned her close and said that to keep up appearances, she wanted to bring her aunt's family to live in Jing Cheng.

"Just leaking a bit from between the fingers would earn a good reputation; you don't even need to meet the person in person, just send them off casually."

"It wouldn't do to let people say you've gained wealth and forgotten your own kin."

……

Sui Sui did not want to bring her uncle's family into Jing Cheng.

Although she was young, she still remembered what kind of days she had lived in the village.

She survived solely thanks to great luck.

Having stayed cautiously by her grandmother's side for over a year, Sui Sui bravely spoke up for the first time: "I don't want to."

Then, under the pretext of burning incense, her grandmother summoned her to Lanruo Si, where she devoutly knelt outside the main hall to reflect on her faults.

"How can you be so intolerant of others? With such a disposition, who would think highly of you?"

"First kneel here, reflect carefully; rise only when you have figured things out."

……

Sui Sui's first display of stubbornness, unwilling to admit fault, so she honestly knelt there.

From morning until noon her knees went numb, yet she never thought to say she was wrong.

Then a sudden downpour drenched her to the bone.

When Sui Sui could hardly endure any longer, Lady He, who had come to offer incense, held up an umbrella and sheltered her for a long while.

The woman looked somewhat worn, yet with red-rimmed eyes she comforted her: "Some things are actually not hard to let go of; don't be so obstinate. Even if you don't like it, there will come a day when you can grow up and take charge—better to endure a little injustice than to torment yourself."

Lady He grew sad as she spoke.

After a long time, the rain of that day blurred in Sui Sui's memory, but she still remembered that Lady He, clearly anguished herself, still tried to console her.

Sui Sui had hardly any interaction with her; it was only because Lady He had just lost her own young daughter, seeing Sui Sui kneeling there pitiful, she felt compassion and thus offered a few kind words.

To Lady He, this might have been an unintentional gesture, but to Sui Sui it was like a great hand parting the mist, giving her much guidance.

She was taken to her grandmother's side, with no one teaching her how to behave; everything was whatever her grandmother said.

She was like a marionette in her grandmother's hands, moving only when the grandmother pulled the strings.

Sui Sui rarely dared to refuse, yet she was punished so severely.

She did not understand indirectness; she only knew to confront things head-on.

After Lady He's persuasion, Sui Sui finally realized that there was another way.

For many years thereafter, Sui Sui relied on yielding, making her life considerably easier.

She agreed with her grandmother, for the sake of maintaining a good reputation, to bring her aunt's family to Jing Cheng.

However, she also, intentionally or not, gave the Chen family various forms of intangible suppression.

After taking her cousins to see the prosperity and bustle of Jing Cheng, she let them know that, given their status, they could not marry the high-born ladies they eyed with envy.

Then, seeing her cousins heartbroken and drunk, Sui Sui herself felt no joy at all.

Even taking revenge on them could not turn back time or make her heart feel even a little lighter.

After feeling no pleasure, Sui Sui simply kept her distance from them.

Coincidentally, her grandmother also did not want her to get too close to the Chen family.

Her grandmother always said, they are the real family; she bears the surname Xu, and all future fortune or misfortune will be tied to the Xu Residence.

Sui Sui was like a docile doll, softly answering and complying; as she grew older, she became more and more like a lifeless puppet devoid of feeling or thought.

The year she came of age, she married into Tang Fu, becoming the principal wife of Tang Fifth Son.

Tang Fifth Son was quite good.

Polite and courteous, refined and gentle.

Young in years, yet already mature beyond his age, he was exceptionally considerate toward her.

But Sui Sui did not like him.

Tang Fifth Son said he was willing to spend his life with only one person, Sui Sui alone, seeking nothing else.

However, before the marriage, Sui Sui inadvertently saw him frequently in disguise, going in and out of Pear Flower Alley.

Only after private investigations did she discover that he kept a beloved concubine there.

It was said she had a slender waist, soft body, and a fine singing voice, greatly favored by Tang Fifth Son; to avoid notice, he deliberately hid her in Pear Flower Alley where ordinary folk lived.

One day Sui Sui craved a kind of pastry, deliberately took a detour, and went to buy it herself.

As a result, she unexpectedly ran into Tang Wu Gongzi and that soft-spoken concubine, who were kissing in a secluded alley, making wet sounds.

She neither cried nor made a fuss, and still married quietly.

Sui Sui thought, Tang Wu was actually not bad; at least he was willing to deceive himself.

But she didn't like them, whether the Xu family or the Tang family; she liked neither.

She despised their ugly and false faces, yet she had to put on the same false front to cope.

After six years of marriage she bore no children; no one in the Tang family urged her, and Lady Tang, this dignified and graceful mother-in-law, smiled and comforted her, saying the fate had not yet arrived.

Whenever this happened, Sui Sui would put on a guilty yet helpless expression, indicating she wanted to take a concubine for her husband; she didn't mind that her earlier promise had been broken, she only wanted the Tang lineage to continue.

Each time, Tang Wu would excitedly declare that he would not touch anyone else, that he only wanted to be with her.

Sui Sui didn't know whether he felt guilty when he said those words.

Anyway, when she said those words, she felt very guilty.

Because she despised her current life and the people around her, she didn't want to have too many ties with them.

Then she never had any children.

Sui Sui thought, this might be another kind of favor from heaven.

She was trapped in this square courtyard, with no freedom at all; she didn't want her own children to end up like her.

Simply, she decided not to bring them into this world.

In the seventh year of her marriage, His Majesty passed away, and the Crown Prince ascended the throne.

The Crown Prince's consort was made Empress, and the Fourth Young Lady of the Tang mansion, formerly a Tang concubine, was made Virtuous Consort.

As the maternal clan of the new emperor, the Tang family was unrivaled in prominence and wielded immense power; the Jin Yang Marquis mansion also benefited, and with their considerable contributions over the years, His Majesty promoted them to Jin State Duke.

That year, Sui Sui figured out the identity of the concubine Tang Wu kept.

Her surname was Che, and her given name was Lingzhi.

She was the natal family of the concubine who had nearly killed Prince Qi; she was the daughter of a criminal.

Tang Wu initially pitied her and took her in.

Che Lingzhi knew how to coax people; as she grew older, she became increasingly beautiful, gradually capturing Tang Wu's heart.

Men often hold a rosy view of their first love from youth.

Regarding Che Lingzhi, Tang Wu clearly knew she could not be presented publicly, nor even seen in the light, yet he kept her hidden tightly; even though he had to marry for power, he was unwilling to give her up.

After several years of effort, Sui Sui finally pieced together this information, and taking the opportunity to enter the palace, she told the Empress.

Having spent many years in Jing Cheng, Sui Sui knew the Tang family's influence was too great; the new emperor, wanting true authority, first aimed to cut down his maternal clan.

And now, Sui Sui personally handed over the evidence to them.

The new emperor received the evidence, and not long after Tang Wu was punished, the Tang family as a whole was held accountable.

Formerly prominent Tang Ren was now demoted two ranks in succession, and ordered to return home to reflect for two months.

These two months successfully cut him off from all affairs in Jing Cheng; if he wanted to intervene again, it would depend on whether His Majesty permitted it.

At the same time, the Virtuous Consort was demoted to Pure Consort and moved to the cold palace.

To take action against the Tang family, the new emperor prepared for nearly a year.

In the eighth year of Sui Sui's marriage, the Tang family went from being prominent in public to having a deserted gate.

In between, they experienced two years of ups and downs; finally Tang Ren could not bear such stimulation and died depressed.

The Tang eldest son lacked his father's ability and could barely maintain the household's daily affairs.

Lady Tang went mad, shouting: "Aren't you the Lucky Star? How come you're now a calamity?"

You must be a disaster star!

At this point, Sui Sui barely managed to piece together why her grandmother had suddenly taken notice of her at the Xu mansion.

She brings her own fortune.

Sui Sui wasn't without feeling; she just never dared to be certain.

Now she is certain.

If she is a Lucky Star, does that mean she can have her wishes fulfilled?

She neither wants the Tang family to fare well, nor the Xu family, and she cannot bear to see the Chen family prosper.

So, when will they be finished?

The facts prove it will be soon.

After the matter of Che Lingzhi was exposed, the Tang family was held accountable; at the same time, the Jin State Duke mansion, which had marital ties with the Tang family, was also targeted for various reasons.

Within less than three years, Che Lingzhi was sent away by a length of white silk.

Tang Wu could not accept this outcome; driven mad by the stimulus, he soon slipped and fell into the water to his death.

The Tang mansion fell, and the Xu mansion collapsed even faster.

Without aid from the Xu family, the Chen family's life would only become more difficult.

Naturally, Sui Sui was also resented by the Tang family.

But she no longer cared.

She begged the Empress, requesting to leave her hair and take up cultivation, and went to the Changqing Temple.

The new emperor, considering her meritorious report, granted Sui Sui's request.

With the Empress's help, they dealt with many troubles for Sui Sui, allowing her to practice cultivation in peace.

As for the Tang and Xu families?

Sui Sui no longer wanted to manage them.

At this time, Sui Sui, though not yet thirty, already bore a weary, aged air.

She thought she might not live long.

Sui Sui didn't want every day of her remaining life to be false and sorrowful.

So she thought, just once, to be willful and live a little of the life she wanted.

The autumn of her thirtieth year seemed to come especially early.

In September, the weather had already turned a bit cold; Sui Sui needed to wrap herself in a thick cloak to suppress the chill in her bones.

After finishing her morning lessons, Sui Sui sat by the window to watch the scenery.

In the distance she saw a figure on the mountainside, slowly approaching.

The person bowed with each step, expression solemn and devout.

Sui Sui knew the person was the Princess Consort of Qi.

Every September she comes, personally from the foot of the mountain, kowtowing all the way up.

She does not do it to pray for herself, but for her young son.

The Sixth Prince of the Qi Wang Fu injured his leg in youth; reportedly his temperament turned foul, and in the past two years, due to old hidden wounds, his health has worsened further.

So, in September of the past two years, as the Sixth Prince's birthday approaches, the Princess Consort of Qi comes in person, bowing devoutly to pray for divine protection for her child.

Sui Sui felt envious each time she saw this.

She thought...

If her mother were still alive, perhaps she too would be a child loved by her mother?

Being a bit greedier, if the Princess Consort of Qi were her mother, she would surely not want to see her—just past thirty, already half‑gray‑haired, looking old, her whole body almost devoid of vitality.

Sui Sui also did not want to live like that.

But she was tired.

She was too rational; having worn a false front for years, she could not convince herself it was real.

Fake, it will always be fake; it cannot become real.

And she was unwilling to accept or confront such falseness.

Thus she was destined to be unhappy, destined to lack happiness.

But at least, she had won herself a few years of peace in life.

Happiness was already a luxury; being able to have peace was enough.

Second watch.