Chapter 152: Same Here

"The reason the court's prestige has crumbled and its control over the commanderies has slipped away bit by bit is precisely because there are too many two-thousand-bushel officials like Boyu, harboring selfish desires and wicked thoughts."

Geng Chun, the Five Offices Clerk who truly held those "burned" account books, couldn't help but click his tongue in amazement when he heard of Diwu Lun's plan. He had always thought Diwu Lun was an upright man; he never expected that this trip to the commandery seat would make everything crystal clear.

Who knew Diwu Lun would heave a long sigh and say: "If I had been born in an age of order, I would naturally have been an able minister who followed every rule. But now, in these chaotic times, rites and music have perished, orders change overnight, and I am lost, not knowing what to follow. To stay alive, I can only be a little crafty."

Diwu Lun spoke the truth, then asked in return: "Your father, Lord Geng, is the Grand Governor of Jiping (Dingtao). Did he report truthfully when submitting the annual accounts?"

"How could he!" Geng Chun had spent time at his father's side back then and had also served as a Yuanshi of the Grand Minister of Agriculture, so he naturally understood the tricks involved. No matter the era, when it comes to tax reporting and accounting, it's a bottomless black hole — clean and spotless ones practically don't exist.

And just as Diwu Lun said, in times like these, honest men often suffer the greatest losses. Take Zhang Zhan, Grand Governor of Liewei, for example. Sometimes, because he reported every single disaster, he'd be reprimanded, and his subordinates would have their pay docked and grumble endlessly.

On the rare occasions of a bumper harvest, he didn't know to keep some in reserve for the commandery and would gleefully report it all. He'd receive verbal praise from the Three Excellencies, and then cartload after cartload of grain would be hauled away by the Five Equalization Officers.

The next year, when the commandery was struck by disaster and Zhang Zhan went miserably to the court begging for aid, he was told he had to fend for himself.

Thus, pleasing neither those above nor those below, Zhang Zhan's position as a two-thousand-bushel official grew harder and harder to hold.

Three feet of ice is not frozen in a single day. The commanderies and the central government no longer trusted each other; the seeds of division had already been sown. Diwu Lun saw that the commandery granaries held little grain. If he submitted the annual accounts, who knew how much would be siphoned off as empty-payroll rations by the imperial troops ordered to suppress the Mount Tai bandits? Following the principle of keeping the fat water in one's own field, he decided to be "clever" this once.

"By reason, when special circumstances arise, it is actually permissible to postpone the annual accounting. Brother Boshan, you once served as a Remonstrant Officer — you must have seen plenty of similar cases, no?"

For instance, during the time of Emperor Wu of Han, Yan Zhu, Governor of Kuaiji, took up his post and did not submit the annual accounts for several years...

Geng Chun warned Diwu Lun: "Yan Zhu was promptly rebuked by Emperor Xiaowu and ultimately executed. Aren't you afraid the Emperor will send down an edict asking you, 'So long without word or inquiry, respond with the Spring and Autumn Annals, not with the vertical-horizontal schemes of Su Qin'?"

But Diwu Lun felt the risk was worth taking. First, why not dump the blame on his predecessor? With Li Yan's rebellion as such a huge target, he could conveniently pin all the rotten accounts of the past decade under Lord Wei onto him.

Second, Diwu Lun was also a hero who had helped suppress the rebellion. No matter how stingy the Emperor might be, he ought to enfeoff him as a marquis. How could he burn the bridge after crossing the river and discard him over such a trivial matter?

Moreover, Diwu Lun had guaranteed in his memorial that he would thoroughly clarify exactly how much grain and fodder Li Yan had embezzled for his revolt, and by the tenth month of next year, he would submit two years' worth of annual accounts together to make up for it!

He would first employ the delaying tactic. After all, who knew what the situation under heaven would look like by the tenth month of next year? The Greenwood Army in the south had already grown into a force; Fan Chong's Mount Tai bandits in the east were in full ascent. The people's fury against the court's officials surged skyward, and the sparks were gradually setting the prairie ablaze — impossible to extinguish, impossible to quench.

By then, perhaps communication between Wei and the capital would be difficult. It would be a common occurrence for the annual accounting clerk to be robbed on the road to Chang'an... And with more and more delays, perhaps the Great Xin would simply be delayed into oblivion.

"If the school blows up, do you still need to hand in your homework? Of course not!"

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Yet when handling the same matter, Diwu Lun revealed his true colors as a double-standard dog.

"Although the account books the commandery office must submit to the court were unfortunately damaged, the annual accounts the counties must submit to the commandery must absolutely not be missing!"

Diwu Lun gave Feng Qin strict personal instructions, then dispatched eighteen recently recruited "Patrolling Attendants of the Gate" to the various counties, ordering the County Magistrates to submit the autumn harvest reports and the monthly account books for the entire year before the end of the ninth month.

Geng Chun said: "You've only just issued your administrative orders to the commandery office, and you haven't even fully taken control of Yecheng itself. Now you're already planning to make a move on the counties? Isn't this a bit rash?"

Diwu Lun said: "Though we should proceed step by step, our gaze cannot be fixed solely on the tiny Yecheng while abandoning the counties."

Though this realm is filled with walled cities, it is in essence still surrounded by the vast countryside. For the commandery granaries in the city to be full, they need a constant transfusion of blood from the counties. The salaries, food, clothing, and military provisions of so many men under Diwu Lun all depend on the autumn tax. How could he just sit and wait for the scraps and leftovers after the fat rats below had eaten and drunk their fill? Snatching a bit more from their mouths would be a good thing too.

However, Diwu Lun ordered the Patrolling Attendants to return immediately after delivering the notice, and under no circumstances to wait to travel together with the county clerks.

Ma Yuan understood at once: "I know — you're thinking of their safety."

The father-in-law Ma laughed heartily: "Back when I was an Inspector in the Jingwei Commandery, I encountered plenty of 'bandit' attacks!"

Indeed, the counties had one more killer move against higher officials sent down to inspect and audit: outright robbery and murder!

Diwu Lun had no intention of immediately tearing his face off with the counties. After all, he was newly arrived, had no outside support, and lacked the power to instantly control them. He merely wanted to use this opportunity to see the true colors of each County Magistrate — who deserved a checkmark, and who had an X over their head.

By late in the ninth month, the account books from the counties were submitted one after another by messenger, giving Diwu Lun the privilege of witnessing one legendary spectacle after another.

"The accounting clerk from Neihuang County in the south encountered a flood on the road!"

"Yin'an County in the east encountered a mountain torrent!"

"What a coincidence — Qingyuan County in the north, same thing."

What a coincidence indeed. The month had been rather dry, yet several rivers, as if by prior agreement, chose the exact moment the accounting clerks were passing to flood. Diwu Lun felt like throwing them all into the Zhang River to pray for rain.

The most outrageous was the accounting clerk from Neihuang County, who entered the city covered in mud and soaking wet. Tears brimming in his eyes, he clutched the few bamboo slips — their writing blurred and indistinct — that remained after the flood had swept the rest away, and knelt before the commandery office, kowtowing ceaselessly.

"This humble clerk is at fault! I threw myself in to block the flood, yet still failed to save the account books!"

"I only managed to risk my life to save these few slips — I suppose I have not utterly disgraced my mission."

Did he think this was a swan feather sent from a thousand li, where the gift is light but the sentiment weighty?

In the end, the accounting clerk from Neihuang beat his chest, stamped his feet, and fainted dead away. This left his counterparts from the other two counties staring at each other in dismay — the difference in skill was immediately obvious! Why hadn't they thought of acting it out like that? They'd been so foolish as to simply let their account books "drift away and be lost."

After the flood trifecta came the bandit trifecta.

A few days later, the accounting clerks from three counties rushed in, their faces full of terror, claiming they had encountered "mountain bandits" on the road. She County, Wu'an, and Wushi were indeed all near the Taihang Mountains in the west of the commandery, where bandits frequently appeared — the encounter rate was very high.

Strange, though — most of these bandits couldn't read a single character, yet they were intensely interested in the account registers, and they didn't harm anyone.

No, wait, there were casualties — several subordinate clerks had died. The accounting clerk from Wu'an County still bore wounds on his body. Trembling, he pulled from his bosom a single account book he had "fought to the death" to save, still stained with blood!

He and the Neihuang accounting clerk could be tied for best actor.

Diwu Lun truly had his horizons broadened. He could only sigh to Geng Chun and Ma Yuan: "I originally thought that shifting the blame onto my predecessor was shameless enough. I never imagined I'd fall so far short of the counties. In the future, I must learn more from these accounting clerks."

Fortunately, eleven counties still gave Diwu Lun face. In these dangerous times, where mountain floods, earthquakes, and bandits could strike at any moment, they had delivered their account books safely and without mishap.

As the saying goes, "When the documents arrive, examine and verify the facts, and record the discrepancies separately." Now it was time for Feng Qin and Huang Chang to take the stage. Leading a group of subordinate clerks, they used the intact commandery account books to verify and cross-check the copies submitted by the subordinate counties. If errors were found, the cause had to be investigated.

Once investigated, everything was exposed.

Huang Chang said: "Commandery Lord, there are eight counties whose submissions do not match the previous records. The newly arrived autumn harvest account books also have major problems."

The old account books were not necessarily true figures, and the newly submitted ones were even more fake.

Feng Qin's tone was somewhat heavy, but Huang Chang was extremely excited. He knew full well that this Lord Diwu was not a man to be deceived. With the counties so brazen, a good show was surely about to unfold.

In the end, the only ones whose account books had no problems were three "honest men": Ye County, which was too close to pull any tricks; Fanyang County, which Feng Qin had tipped off; and Liangqi County.

Or rather, clever men.

"Hold on." Diwu Lun counted on his fingers. Wei territory had eighteen counties, but only seventeen were accounted for here. Where was the other one?

Feng Qin reminded him: "Has the Grand Governor forgotten? Yuancheng County is the ancestral land of the Son of Heaven, forever exempt from taxes. They keep their grain for themselves and are not required to submit account books to the commandery."

The County Magistrate of Yuancheng was always chosen from a distant branch of the imperial clan. Normally, he paid no heed to the commandery office in Yecheng — it was practically an independent kingdom within the commandery.

Well, after this whole round of annual accounting, Diwu Lun could see things clearly now.

He felt that the court's reach was too short and its authority utterly spent, so it couldn't touch him for the moment. And the County Magistrates and the powerful families behind them were also impatiently declaring: "Same here!"

The counties didn't think so — Diwu Lun, this newly parachuted-in Grand Governor with no troops and no grain to his name, could do nothing to them, so they dared to slight and mock him.

True enough — Diwu Lun knew he was being deceived, yet he couldn't uproot all the uncooperative County Magistrates, along with the powerful clans colluding with them to cheat their superiors and hide the truth from those below, in one fell swoop.

But concentrating his strength to deal with a single county — that was entirely within reach.

Diwu Lun looked at the two newly recruited men. Though Feng Qin was skilled in official business, he was, after all, a reluctant little bitter gourd pressed into service, still not particularly warm toward him. Diwu Lun meant to make this prodigy of the Feng Wanshi family an example. He didn't expect Feng Qin to do much; he just needed to draw close to him in daily life, letting the powerful families of the commandery see his love for worthies.

As for the dwarf Huang Chang, he was single-mindedly set on climbing upward, fiercely driven by ambition. Diwu Lun couldn't afford to be too intimate with him ordinarily, lest people say he was "doting on a sycophant," but he could also be used to do ruthless work.

"Menggao." Diwu Lun called the name of his subordinate clerk.

"Your subordinate is here!"

Huang Chang had long been waiting and answered at once!

Diwu Lun wore a faint, ambiguous smile. "I recall — you hail from Neihuang County?"

"Are you well acquainted with the County Magistrate and the accounting clerk of Neihuang?"

Since they had been invited to a feast, and everyone was sitting idly in the hall, how could there be no show to watch?

Grace must be bestowed, but authority must also be established. The show to follow was called...

"Kill the chicken to warn the monkeys!"

PS: Rushing to catch a flight, posting early — it's a bit short.