Chapter 16: Worthless Cur

"What we're drinking is li, with little yeast and plenty of grain, ready in two nights — it's very sweet. Would the Township Bailiff and the commandery clerk care to taste it?"

As Diwu Ba spoke, he had someone bring over a basin of li. It did carry a hint of alcohol, but what struck the nose more was the sweet-sour fragrance of grain after a light fermentation. You could roughly think of it as the fermented rice wine or sweet rice wine of later ages, except the ingredients were millet and broomcorn millet, so it looked rather yellowish.

Which raises the question: is sweet rice wine actually wine?

The ancients placed the greatest weight on matching names to realities — different things had to bear different names. The Book of Documents says: "If you make wine or li, you must use yeast and malt." Li and wine had always stood as parallel categories. For one, what fermented it was not the wine yeast strictly controlled by the court, but malt — that is, sprouted grain — which simply could not be regulated. Besides, li has a very low alcohol content; you could down a whole jar and not get drunk, only sickeningly full.

The Xin Dynasty, emulating the Duke of Zhou's "Admonition on Wine," prohibited group drinking mainly to conserve grain. But in li, the fermented mash outweighs the liquid; after sucking out the juice with a wheat straw, the remainder can perfectly well be eaten as food — it hardly counts as waste.

So if someone accused you of group drinking, you really could pull a switcheroo, then turn around and shout: "The ones you want to arrest are wine drinkers — what does that have to do with us eating li?"

"I've tasted it — it's definitely strong wine! Absolutely not li!"

Diyi Liu, however, had turned stubborn. He pointed obsessively at the puddle and the broken pottery shards on the ground as evidence, dipped his finger in again and put it to his tongue for another taste, only a step away from saying: "If the Literary Clerk doesn't believe me, come try it yourself!"

This really was a wine jar that some villager, in their haste, had accidentally smashed and hadn't had time to clean up. Diwu Ge and the others grew a little nervous. But Diwu Ba, without a word, strode straight over, walked up to the dog beside it that was still licking the bloodstains and filth on the ground, and gave it a savage kick!

"Worthless cur!"

The innocent local dog, taking a second kick today, looked utterly baffled and ran off yelping.

Diwu Ba even picked up a stone and hurled it hard, then pointed at the dog and let loose a torrent of abuse: "Someone slipped and accidentally smashed the jar that held meat broth, and you worthless cur, not full from eating shit, came running over to lick it for ages and even pissed all over the ground! Disgraceful!"

This was cursing Liu while pointing at the dog!

Diyi Liu's face had gone ashen. When it was over, Diwu Ba turned his head and flashed him a smile: "Still, I must say, it's quite something that the Township Bailiff could taste wine in dog piss. Remarkable!"

Diwu Lun turned his face away to stifle a laugh. You're going to try out-sarcasm the old man?

Diyi Liu lost his composure: "You! Literary Clerk, this old man is insulting an officer of the court!"

Diwu Ba, however, waved his hand: "Township Bailiff, I really can't bear the weight of that charge. I may be a country fellow given to coarse talk, but what I spat on was plainly a dog. When did I ever curse you?"

"Diwu Ba, if you haven't been drinking, then why is your face so red?"

"The sun baked it that way!"

Diwu Ba could fight with his fists and with his tongue. Diyi Liu, clumsy of speech, was shaking all over and wanted to appeal to Jing Dan for help. He believed that, as Bailiff, he was performing his duty by reporting and investigating wrongdoing — this wasn't a private dispute between brothers — and with the evidence so conclusive, a superior officer ought to back him up.

Who would have thought that Jing Dan, always so modest and courteous toward others, would look at Diyi Liu as if he were a fool, a hint of impatience already rising in his eyes.

No wonder that every year at the annual reporting, Linqu Township regularly came in last in the entire county — it turned out they'd been saddled with a Bailiff so utterly lacking in a sense of proportion.

I made a special trip all the way out to this poor, remote spot on the commandery Grand Governor's orders — was it to arrest people for group drinking at the autumn sacrifice? Have you ever seen a crowing rooster go catch mice?

"Township Bailiff."

Jing Dan raised a hand to stop Diyi Liu, sparing him further embarrassment: "Earlier, I did not know that today was the day of the autumn sacrifice for the various Di clans of Linqu Township, so I called you along to guide the way."

"Now that I have already reached Diwu Village and found the person I was looking for…"

Jing Dan glanced at Diwu Lun, who had remained silent the whole time, letting his grandfather do all the talking, and smiled: "Then there is nothing more here that requires you. Bailiff Diyi, you had best hurry back to your own home and preside over the autumn sacrifice rites!"

…

Diyi Liu had just encountered a moment of total social death. His face like the ashes of the dead, he went back.

A short while later, in the central hall of the Diwu clan's fortified compound, only Diwu Lun and Jing Dan remained.

"Literary Clerk, Lun is guilty."

"Guilty of what?"

"What we drank at the autumn sacrifice was, in truth, wine."

The matter just now had clearly blown over, yet Diwu Lun, as if some wire had come loose in his head, voluntarily admitted to the group drinking at the autumn sacrifice. After preemptively confessing, he raised his head, looked at Jing Dan, and said: "I imagine the Literary Clerk had long since noticed."

Jing Dan smiled but said nothing.

Indeed, from the moment he first entered Diwu Village, Jing Dan had caught a faint whiff of alcohol on Diwu Lun's breath when he spoke.

Those who drink always think they've covered it up perfectly, but they've merely stepped into a fish market — after long exposure, they no longer notice the stench, while a bystander (or a wife) catches it with a single sniff.

This Jing Dan not only had a rather keen nose, but a keen mind as well. After noticing, he didn't expose it; instead, he deliberately slowed his pace, asking questions here and there to help Diwu Lun buy time.

After all, with a crime like group drinking, everyone knew it was just the Xin Emperor's archaism flaring up again. Anyone who took it seriously was a fool, and enforcement was hardly rigorous — but being caught red-handed face-to-face was still rather awkward.

Diwu Lun had realized this at the time. The two clever men shared an unspoken understanding, only to have that fool Diyi Liu shout it out.

Now that it had been laid bare, Diwu Lun decided to simply own up: "The fault for this matter lies with me alone; it has nothing to do with my grandfather or the villagers. If the Literary Clerk wishes to assign blame, then let the accusation fall on me!"

Jing Dan, however, stroked his short beard and said: "The 'Admonition on Wine' states: 'When our people fall into great disorder and lose their virtue, it is never without wine as the cause; when states great and small meet their ruin, it is never without wine as the crime.' Brewing wine wastes grain, and group drinking easily breeds trouble — that is why the Sage Son of Heaven issued the edict to suppress it."

"But the Duke of Zhou also said: 'Drink only at the sacrifices, and let virtue keep you from drunkenness.' Drinking at the autumn sacrifice is primarily for offering to the gods and ancestors; so long as it does not descend into reckless drinking and cause trouble, it does no great harm. As for this incident, considering that you are first-time offenders, we'll let it pass. Be more cautious in the future."

Whether he meant be more cautious about not drinking, or be more cautious when drinking so as not to get caught, was unclear.

Turning a blind eye to those below, while paying lip service to those above — that was the attitude of the commanderies and counties. Over the past decade, they had grown accustomed to Emperor Wang Mang's endless array of outlandish new policies. Take the recently decreed "men and women walk on separate sides of the road" — just think about it, how could that possibly work? In Jing Dan's view, this was nothing more than tracing a picture by following the words in some ancient text.

Still, Jing Dan was rather pleased that Diwu Lun hadn't tried to be too clever by half, and so he explained the reason for his visit.

"Let us turn to proper business. I came today, in fact, bearing a commission from the commandery Grand Governor, Lord Zhang."

"Some days ago, Lord Zhang summoned the Changping County Magistrate, Xianyu Bao, for an audience and questioned him in detail about your affairs."

Diwu Lun smiled: "A mere youth, young in years and shallow in learning, no renowned scholar hidden among the cliffs and caves — since the day I was born, the notable events of my life could be counted on the fingers of one hand. How could I be worth the commandery lord condescending to learn of?"

"Not renowned?"

Jing Dan shook his head: "Boyu, you are far too modest. Barely past your coming-of-age, you first yielded the pears, then yielded the opportunity to study, and furthermore, to prevent your clansmen from turning on each other, you accepted the filial and fraternal duty at a moment of crisis — and once the matter was settled, you brushed off your sleeves and left, coveting neither the post nor the rewards of silk and coin. This reputation has already spread throughout Changping County and reached up to the commandery offices. Now even people from other counties know your name, and a proverb has even sprung up: 'The Diwu son who yielded twice and declined once.'"

"After hearing of your deeds, the commandery lord sighed and said: 'That such a talented youth has not become known in the commandery offices is truly a dereliction of duty by those who govern!'"

Jing Dan drew from his bosom the brief letter of appointment, just a few characters long: "And so he dispatched me here, wishing to appoint you as Chief Clerk of Records in the commandery!"

…

Diwu Lun and Jing Dan talked for a long time inside the central hall of the fortified compound before emerging. Jing Dan walked ahead with his hands clasped behind his back, his brow furrowed and saying nothing, while Diwu Lun followed behind, seeing him off.

When they passed the village shrine again, Jing Dan finally stopped. He pointed at the conspicuous platform behind the building and asked: "I have never seen a platform built behind any village shrine. Boyu, what was this constructed for?"

So that the villagers could watch village operas later, of course!

In Diwu Lun's previous life, anyone his age who hadn't dozed off in class — who could ever forget Xun Ge'er's "Village Opera" and the fava beans stolen from the field!

As far back as the Former Han, the hundred entertainments and comedic performers were already very popular among the common folk, often appearing at noblemen's banquets to perform acrobatics or tell stories, using humor to make people laugh. Once there was spare money and surplus grain in the future, they could be invited here, and Diwu Lun could write material himself for the performers to act out — something like "The Five Hundred Heroes of Tian Heng." Performing the heroic epics of their common ancestors could also help unite the various Di clans of Linqu Township.

But of course Diwu Lun couldn't speak the plain truth. He merely said: "It is so that, in the future, people can be asked to perform stories from the Classic of Filial Piety on the platform — combining learning with entertainment, so that even common folk who cannot read may understand the way of filial piety and fraternal duty, and grasp the intent of the sages."

Although the Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars hadn't taken shape yet in this era, many of the stories were already around — Shun moving Heaven with his filial piety, Tanzi wearing deerskin to get milk for his parents, Zilu carrying rice on his back for his family, Zeng Shen feeling a pang in his heart when his mother bit her finger, Min Sun wearing thin clothes to please his stepmother. Diwu Lun wasn't lying; these stories were meant for the stage. Filial piety is an ethic unchanged for two thousand years.

Jing Dan was stunned, then nodded slightly. The classics are hard to grasp, the threshold high, but the performances of variety players and jesters are popular entertainment, far easier to spread. This idea is brilliant.

He then heard Diwu Lun say that when there were no festivals or community gatherings, a teacher could lecture on the stage, and the wooden stools below could serve as desks for the hamlet's children to learn reading and arithmetic — with the teacher's salary and provisions supplied by the community granary. Jing Dan was even more astonished, turning to look at Diwu Lun.

"You won't go to the Imperial Academy yourself, yet you want to set up a village school in the hamlet?"

"Yes. The sage said, 'In teaching there should be no distinction of classes.' Better to educate an entire hamlet than to perfect a single scholar."

From the time of Emperor Wen of the Former Han, when Wen Weng of Shu Commandery promoted official schools, down to the present, every commandery and county has had elementary schools — but education only reached the county level. Unless a family was of middling means, they had no resources to attend. Poor children, first, couldn't afford the tuition, and second, the journey was too far. They were basically all illiterate.

Now Diwu Lun wanted to move the village school right into the hamlet — truly something never done before.

Jing Dan studied Diwu Lun once more. This youth had far exceeded his expectations. After a long pause, he said with feeling, "Diwu Boyu, I understand your aspirations now. I will report them truthfully to the commandery lord."

Diwu Lun saw Jing Dan off to the hamlet gate. Once Jing Dan was in his carriage, he waved and said, "Today's journey was well worth it. If you have leisure, Boyu, come find me in the commandery city. My home is in the eastern ward."

Diwu Lun bowed deeply. "Another day I will certainly pay a call on the Literary Clerk, and kowtow to the commandery lord to beg forgiveness."

Once Jing Dan's carriage was far off, Diwu Ba approached, full of questions. "Lun'er, what did the commandery Grand Governor send the Literary Clerk to see you about?"

"What else could it be…"

Diwu Lun smiled. "The Grand Governor wants to recruit me as Chief Records Clerk."

"That… that's wonderful news!" Diwu Ba's face instantly lit up with joy.

"Recruitment" refers to the system by which officials personally appoint their subordinate staff. For instance, in the time of Emperor Yuan of the Former Han, Kuang Heng — praised as "of surpassing talent and wisdom, peerless in classical learning" — was recruited by the Grand Marshal and General of Chariots and Cavalry Shi Gao as a Consultation Clerk.

Commandery and county chiefs could also appoint their own clerks and aides, without even informing the imperial court. When a new commandery governor took office, he would often recruit sons of the great local clans or noted regional scholars, drawing local powers to his side as support.

Now, after twice yielding and once declining, Diwu Lun's reputation had grown daily; he had become something of a minor celebrity, which was what drew the attention of Governor Zhang.

As for Chief Records Clerk, you could understand it as a secretary… official.

Compared to the unpaid temporary post of hamlet Filial and Fraternal Elder, Chief Records Clerk was a formal commandery staff position with a salary, ranked at one hundred dan, just below the Head Records Clerk. His duties were to record documents at the governor's side, oversee deadlines and meetings, and so on. To put it plainly, he would be a junior secretary to the commandery Grand Governor — the mayor, so to speak.

Diwu Ba was quite pleased. Diwu Lun going to the side of the commandery Grand Governor was a good thing. If he won favor, in a few years he could even be promoted to Section Clerk! The prospects were limitless. It was a bit embarrassing to admit, but for two hundred years the Diwu clan's connections had never gone beyond the county and township level; they had never produced a commandery official with a bronze seal and yellow cord!

As for Diwu Lun's talk of a future "great chaos under Heaven," Diwu Ba only half believed it. The Xin Dynasty had only been founded for ten years; surely it wouldn't collapse overnight. The clan needed to train together as a precaution against upheaval, but holding office was still better than being a commoner.

He asked excitedly, "Then what day do you leave to take up the post?"

"Take up the post? No need."

"Grandfather, it's the same as before…"

Diwu Lun slowly backed away. "This recruitment — I politely declined it!"

Diwu Ba was first stunned, then began cursing furiously.

"The fire tongs! Where are this old man's fire tongs?!"

…

PS: Did a PY deal with Old Wang next door.

Dreaming Back to the Great Ming Spring: Transmigrated to the Great Ming dynasty, the imperial exams are a dead end for someone unregistered, and there's no teacher if you want to study. The good news is that right next door is Longchang Post, where Wang Yangming is in exile — but you still have to wait a few years. So first, grab a teacher and bring him home to make do.

Same Old Wang style, over a million words and nice and plump — time to dive in.