Chapter 83: Bang!

"Bang!"

Being pointed at by that black tube was bad enough, but just as Diwu Lun's nerves stretched taut, a deafening roar rang out at the worst possible moment, making him jump.

Diwu Lun didn't lose his composure so completely as to throw himself to the ground — it was pure reflex: his body shuddered, his shoulders jerked up, and then he glanced down instinctively. No lead pellet had struck his chest after all.

It turned out to be nothing more than the bell and chime stones being struck on the high platform, giving Diwu Lun a false fright. And now, his little flinch had been noticed by several men to his left and right, who came over frowning to interrogate him. Leading them was none other than Kong Ren, the Right Master of Fates, who had once interrogated him at the Office of the Master of Fates of the Five Majesties — still wearing that absurdly ostentatious astronomical crown.

"Diwu Lun, why do you startle so? Could it be you have a guilty conscience?"

Fortunately, Diwu Lun had quick wits. He hastily steadied himself, bowed with clasped hands, and said, "A rustic boy from the countryside, meeting His Majesty for the first time — I was already nervous. The moment I stepped onto the platform just now, I felt the aura of His Majesty, the Sage Son of Heaven, and my body could not help but tremble."

This act of a country boy visiting the city for the first time successfully drew laughter from the crowd. Liu Die, the General of the Gentlemen of the Household of All Purposes leading the way, was the son of the State Preceptor and had no desire to make things difficult for him, so he defended him: "After all, he is but a young scholar; to be intimidated by His Majesty's august presence is quite normal."

The Right Master of Fates, Kong Ren, however, was unwilling to let Diwu Lun off. Having lost his patron, Wang Zong, the Duke of Chonggong, he had become an isolated minister, now reliant on Chen Chong. He sneered, "A crude man from the northern barbarian lands, who has never seen the Son of Heaven, therefore trembles in awe... Qin Wuyang once spoke similar words in the great hall of the Qin court!"

"If something goes wrong, can the General of the Gentlemen of the Household bear the responsibility?"

Today, without even needing a glance from Chen Chong, Kong Ren came over and searched Diwu Lun again, his filthy hands groping all over him. Had Liu Die not intervened, he would even have stripped Diwu Lun naked on the spot.

Even the accompanying Ju Wuba and Liangqiu Ci were not spared — according to Kong Ren's reasoning, if Diwu Lun was Qin Wuyang, then weren't the two of them Jing Ke?

And you know, if a giant like Ju Wuba — a living weapon of mass destruction in his own right — were allowed to get close to Wang Mang, he really could charge forward in a few strides and throttle the Son of Heaven with a deadly embrace. Who could possibly stop him?

Diwu Lun had heard that Wang Mang was extremely cautious. Every time he went out, he would first send guards to conduct repeated searches throughout the capital, called "sweeping searches." In the fourth year of Shijianguo, for a single outing, he had the capital searched for five full days!

Kong Ren was very eager to find something on them, but in the end, a eunuch of the Inner Yellow Gate was sent to urge them on: "Since they have already been searched twice, His Majesty orders the Right Master of Fates to let them pass."

Unwilling to give up, Kong Ren merely glanced back at Chen Chong beside the Emperor and said, "They must not be allowed too close."

And so, the group, who should have been able to advance twenty paces, were now, because of Diwu Lun's single flinch, temporarily restricted to thirty paces.

At this distance, one could vaguely make out Wang Mang in his ceremonial robes of black upper and crimson lower garments, predominantly red and yellow, but the patterns upon them were indiscernible. As for Wang Mang's features, though the mica screens to his left and right had been removed, they were still impossible to distinguish clearly. The Emperor's voice could not carry over either, and all communication had to be relayed back and forth by the eunuchs of the Inner Yellow Gate.

Only Ju Wuba was an exception. His voice was so thunderous it could reach the Emperor's ears directly, and Diwu Lun and Liangqiu Ci, positioned behind him, felt battered by the sheer force of the sound waves.

While Wang Mang was questioning Ju Wuba, Diwu Lun seized the chance to glance at the tube that had frightened him earlier. The ritual officer, that Master of Fates, was standing just ten paces away from him, and only now did Diwu Lun see clearly: though the object somewhat resembled one in shape, it was absolutely not a firearm.

Diwu Lun finally remembered. Huan Tan had once mentioned that, in order to magically suppress the Xiongnu and the rebels and bandits in the various provinces and commanderies, Wang Mang had, the year before last, specially summoned his ministers. After making offerings to Heaven and Earth, he had cast a "divine artifact" from five-colored medicinal stones and bronze, called the Awe-Inspiring Dipper. On the day of the casting, a great cold struck, and among the officials, men, and horses, there were those who froze to death — was this truly a ritual implement forged through the sacrifice of human and animal lives?

The Awe-Inspiring Dipper was two chi and five cun long, shaped like the Northern Dipper, with a yellow dragon carved at the end of its handle. Every time he traveled, the Emperor had the Master of Fates carry the Awe-Inspiring Dipper on his left, and on his right, the "Awe-Inspiring Tally," made of the same material.

Diwu Lun felt slightly relieved. He truly did have a guilty conscience and was always fixated on the joke that "Wang Mang might be a transmigrator." In truth, the Awe-Inspiring Dipper and a gun were as different as a well rope and a venomous snake.

However, as the hour changed, the long handle of the Awe-Inspiring Dipper had to be rotated in direction, and as a result, it had just been pointed straight at Diwu Lun. Talk about a coincidence!

"Could it be that it's truly efficacious, and knows I'm a potential rebel?"

By this time, Emperor Wang Mang's questioning of Ju Wuba had also concluded. The giant stepped back several paces, while the ritual officer and Liu Die ushered Liangqiu Ci and Diwu Lun forward.

The Emperor actually remembered Liangqiu Ci, even knowing that his ancestor was Liangqiu He, one of the eleven meritorious ministers enshrined in the Qilin Pavilion by Emperor Xuan of the Former Han dynasty. After his death, Liangqiu He had been buried as a companion at Duling, and the family had relocated from Donghai to Guanzhong. This moved Liangqiu Ci deeply.

As for Diwu Lun, Wang Mang briefly mentioned his late teacher, Yang Xiong, his words filled with regret.

"I still think of the days when I served alongside Ziyun as a Gentleman of the Yellow Gate. Now, only I and Yingshu remain."

But that was just two brief sentences. Diwu Lun was a minor figure; the Emperor could not spare him much time. Today's summons was because he had never heard the phrase "Long live, long live, long live the Emperor," and wanted to summon him for a look, and also to ask about something in passing.

The eunuch of the Inner Yellow Gate came over to relay the message: "His Majesty asks: Why do you have your soldiers smear yellow on their foreheads? What is the meaning behind it?"

On this question, Diwu Lun had long prepared his answer: "Your servant is a native of Changping County in Liewei Commandery."

"In the fifth month, on the wuchen day, of the third year of Tianfeng, the western bank at Changping in Liewei collapsed and blocked the Jing River, stopping its flow. This event occurred in your servant's homeland."

It was also the catastrophe that left Zhang Yu and Zhu Di orphans and displaced tens of thousands of commoners. Yet, in the official narrative, this was not a calamity or anomaly, but an auspicious omen!

Diwu Lun spoke today in the same vein: "The local worthies said: the bank is earth, corresponding to our dynasty's virtue of Earth; the Jing River is water, corresponding to the north. This is the prophecy of 'using earth to fill water' from the River Diagram, a portent that the Slaves are about to be destroyed!"

This was not Diwu Lun's original idea. It was the Grand Minister of Works, Wang Yi, who, after being dispatched to inspect the disaster, had returned and reported this as good news. The assembled ministers had even congratulated Wang Mang on his birthday for it!

The result was that Wang Mang believed this nonsense. Instead of properly providing disaster relief, he dispatched the Governor of Bing Province, Song Hong, and others to lead troops to the border, waiting for internal strife among the Xiongnu to seize the chance to strike and destroy them.

And then they waited for three years. It was not until last year, when the Xiongnu Chanyu died, that Wang Mang believed the auspicious omen from back then had finally been fulfilled, and thus pushed forward this absurd war.

Diwu Lun had also wondered: did Wang Mang, sitting in his high position, know of the suffering of the lower classes and the tragedies within the Boar-Rush Braves camp? What would happen if he laid everything bare in public?

Better not think about it. The last person to remonstrate, Yan You, had already been dismissed from office and sent home, let alone himself.

He continued his report: "Now, with the campaign imminent, your servant recalled this omen. Therefore, I ordered the soldiers to wrap their heads in yellow cloth, signifying troops of the Earth virtue. When they face the Slaves, they will surely sweep all before them! Using earth to fill water!"

After he finished speaking, the eunuch of the Inner Yellow Gate went to relay the message to Wang Mang. Diwu Lun had long figured it out: the Xin Dynasty exalted Earth, and Wang Mang was someone who loved to play with the Five Virtues and Five Colors. For example, his daughter had been re-titled from the Empress Dowager of Ding'an to the Princess of the Yellow Imperial House.

So, in the Xin Dynasty, using yellow was very safe, very politically correct.

Unless Wang Mang truly was a transmigrator and knew about the Yellow Turbans, there would absolutely be reward and no punishment.

That being said, the bizarre creativity of Wang Mang's rewards was something Diwu Lun had never anticipated.

Now, after Wang Mang heard the eunuch of the Inner Yellow Gate relay Diwu Lun's original words, he stroked the tassels of his crown and looked at the young man from afar, saying, "The rhapsody on the northern campaign that Ziyun did not have time to compose before his death — I have heard it today from his disciple. These words are excellent! Bestow upon him the Qilin Leather Cap!"

This was a cap made of soft leather, painted with the scale patterns of a qilin. It was crafted by the ritual officers at Wang Mang's behest, supposedly in accordance with the ancient rites of the Zhou dynasty. After the cap was bestowed, Diwu Lun accepted it with profuse thanks and put it on, but inwardly he was somewhat stunned: "That's it?"

There was indeed more. After asking Chen Chong a few questions, Wang Mang added: "Ziyun's line has been a single heir for five generations, and both his sons have died, leaving him without descendants. There are no other Yangs in Shu. Let the Master of Fates of the Five Majesties immediately dispatch men to seek out the descendants of the Zhou dynasty grandee Boqiao, specifically the junior branch that was first enfeoffed with the fief of Yang in Jin. Select a suitable male to be posthumously adopted as Ziyun's heir, to continue his ancestral rites."

From the Grand Minister of Works, Wang Yi, to the Master of Fates of the Five Majesties, Chen Chong, all praised Wang Mang for this act of restoring extinguished lines and continuing broken successions. Thinking about it carefully, it was indeed without fault, but Diwu Lun felt it was gilding the lily — this was clearly something he could have done himself later, yet Wang Mang had beaten him to it.

Finally, from afar, he saw Wang Mang issue another edict.

"First, the giant of the Jumu clan appeared, his might and valor surpassing the ancient strongmen Elai and Meng Ben; then came Diwu Lun's words of the yellow cloth, corresponding to the auspicious omen of earth filling water in the third year of Tianfeng. These are all auspicious signs, proof that the Slaves can be defeated! Therefore, I resolve..."

Diwu Lun perked up his spirits, thinking Wang Mang would promote him, perhaps making him the Yellow Turban Colonel or something.

Unexpectedly, the Emperor's next sentence made his jaw drop.

"Let the elite troops of the three northern armies under Grand Preceptor Wang Kuang all wear yellow cloth, to correspond with this talismanic omen!"

The Yellow Turbans were no longer exclusively his; they had been seized by Grand Preceptor Wang Kuang. Diwu Lun was instantly crestfallen, with the feeling of having worked hard only for someone else to reap the benefit. And the next line of the edict brought him even more "delightful surprise."

"Additionally, enfeoff Diwu Lun with the noble rank of Attached City."

Liangqiu Ci stared blankly at Diwu Lun, who had been enfeoffed in the blink of an eye, feeling a mix of envy and jealousy, but he immediately switched to a smiling face: "Congratulations, Boyu."

Diwu Lun, too, had never expected that Wang Mang truly did not play by the rules. He felt a surge of irony: "It's just as the folk song in Chang'an says: 'Fighting with all your might is not as good as crafting a clever memorial.'"

But compared to that Zhang Bosong, whose single essay led to the enfeoffment of two Marquises and seven Attached Cities, Diwu Lun was still far behind.

Now, regarding the noble ranks of the Xin Dynasty, below Duke, Marquis, Earl, Viscount, and Baron, there was also the "Inner Attached City," theoretically equivalent to the Han dynasty's Marquis Within the Passes, enjoying the tax revenue of a single hamlet.

Because the Great Xin had granted far too many noble titles, viscounts and barons roamed the land like stray curs, and with the court's finances in dire straits, even counts, viscounts, and barons received no fief revenues — let alone inner attached-lords.

Diwu Lun had heard that the inner attached-lords in Chang'an already numbered in the hundreds. Some, waiting in vain for the stipends Wang Mang repeatedly delayed, had no choice but to hire themselves out as servants in the market stalls just to survive. To see nobles driven to such a plight was a rare sight through the ages.

At that moment, another resounding boom rang out — the bell-stone was struck once more. This time Diwu Lun followed the sound and looked over, only to see that the one striking the bell was none other than Huan Tan, the Music Steward, who had just returned from Shu. Don't be fooled by Huan Tan being a mere music official with no power or influence — the man also bore the noble title of "Inner Attached-Lord of Minggao," so there was nothing to celebrate at all.

Wait a moment — that bell-stone that just startled me, you were the one who struck it, you scoundrel!

Diwu Lun glared furiously at Huan Tan, but Huan Tan paid no heed whatsoever and had the music official strike the bell once more.

"The Son of Heaven widely seeks those possessing extraordinary skills capable of attacking the Xiongnu, and will treat them with exceptional rank. Now three visitors from Xinfeng have answered the call, each possessing a unique art for defeating the enemy. Let them ascend the platform and demonstrate!"

At the shout of the palace eunuch, three men climbed onto the high platform one after another. The one who drew Diwu Lun's attention most was the man at the very rear, along with several Palace Gentlemen and soldiers who helped him haul a heavy, cumbersome object, huffing and puffing as they clambered up.

It looked to be an enormous kite, covered all over with long bird feathers of brilliant, mottled colors, and fitted with a wooden frame, ring-pin mechanisms that could be attached to a human body.

Diwu Lun stared, dumbstruck. After being frightened by the pitch-black muzzle of the mighty crossbow, he had now lost his composure for the second time that day.

"Is that... a glider?"

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