Chapter 156: 156. Chapter 156 The Painful Truth 5

156. Chapter 156 The Painful Truth 5

Haohua listened to my words and seemed at a loss, his hands spread out, not knowing what to do. Several times he tried to move the corners of his mouth but couldn't speak, and could only helplessly watch me shedding big tears.

In the end he still pulled me into his embrace; his embrace once held my familiar scent, his embrace once was my harbor, but now why does leaning into his embrace feel so icy, utterly devoid of warmth?

I closed my eyes and quietly savored that past feeling; slowly, slowly, that familiar feeling seeped back into my heart, and the emotion returned to how it was a year ago.

Leaning in his embrace, listening to his steady heartbeat, I didn't know how long had passed before he finally let go of me and gazed at me with deep affection, saying: "Xuanxuan, I have always thought you never forgot me, that I still existed in your heart. Huiqing told me you still love me, isn't that right? I know my leaving back then was my fault, but I truly had my reasons. Not long after you left, I came back to find you, but Huiqing said you had gone back. At that time I so wished I could go find you, yet I couldn't. In fact, Huiqing has always known about my situation; it was I who had him keep it from you. Now I will tell you everything that happened back then. Wasn't I often having nosebleeds then? You should know that. Each time I told you it was nothing, just getting angry, and you didn't think much of it. Later my mother took me to the hospital for a checkup, and it turned out I had leukemia. I'm not afraid of death; I'm afraid of what would happen to you if I died, and who would take care of you if I weren't by your side. At that time I stayed home for three days without any news, thinking over and over. I couldn't let you know; I didn't want you to forever worry about me in your heart, so I could only choose to break up with you ruthlessly. In the end I deliberately started to become worse bit by bit, making you think I had changed, but you never gave up, coming to find me time and again. Seeing your tears, several times I almost softened, yet reason told me I couldn't, I couldn't involve you. Every time your tears fell before me, they felt like knives piercing my heart, so painful, so painful, the pain making me suffocate.