Chapter 357

Since express delivery takes 3 days to arrive, why not send all the packages 3 days in advance?

Returning to the bathroom, Lin Li confirmed that the time flow had indeed dropped to 1:130, then took his phone to start ordering the equipment Deng Wen needed, while reviewing his moronic questions.

To avoid trouble, Lin Li chose the exact same configuration for the phone, computer, and even the power bank as Daoist Shanqing's.

After all, Confucius once said a famous truth in "Ji Shi": "Do not worry about having widows, but worry that everyone cannot share the widows together."

Therefore, if they were different, whether good or bad, there would inevitably be the hidden danger that "either Daoist Shanqing or Deng Wen would feel unbalanced because the other's was better than their own."

Although the two powerhouses shouldn't be petty about such small matters, what if they were?

—These two bastards could fight over a single phone; Lin Li's filter for them had long since shattered into pieces.

Sigh, he was a normal person always surrounded by a group of abnormal people; living these days was truly hard on himself.

Therefore, from every angle, for the sake of stability, Lin Li resolutely reordered from his historical orders, and even considered the potential third old fogey, ordering double for everything.

However, the price that came with it was that after a few fiddles with his little hands, Lin Li was penniless.

It seemed he had to go to the bedroom to extract some gold to sell.

Eh, speaking of extracting gold...

Lin Li decided to extract a batch in the bathroom first.

Extraction complete.

After cleaning up the scene and returning to the bedroom, Lin Li began to take photos and archive the "sword techniques" Deng Wen had given him one by one.

After all, this was ordinary paper, so damage was inevitable; it was necessary to make a backup.

He then dug out the Foundation Establishment method Daoist Shanqing had given him and began translating it for future practice.

The day after tomorrow.

Friday noon.

Classroom.

"Ding Sihan, this is the bride price I am giving you."

Lin Li spoke sincerely to Ding Sihan in front of Chen Yuying, his gaze not exactly filled with affection, but certainly filled with "fowl-ection."

And then, with a movement like a confession in a Japanese anime, he bent over abruptly, looked down at the ground, and offered the item with both hands:

"Please, I beg you to accept it!"

To this, Ding Sihan's expression at this moment was like a Sichuanese seeing tripe dipped in ketchup, a Northeasterner seeing strawberry-filled dumplings dipped in yogurt, a Shaanxi person seeing Oreos soaked in mutton soup, or Wang Ze seeing Lin Li pooping with his butt.

Chen Yuying on the side giggled: "Sihan, just accept it."

Ding Sihan sighed and snatched the paint box and paints from Lin Li's hands with disgust.

—"Bride Price."

After getting it, she immediately brushed off the part Lin Li had just been holding—get away, dirty thing, get away, dirty thing.

"38.8, Jiangxi price, are you satisfied?" Lin Li didn't mind, but asked proudly.

Ding Sihan looked at the price tag stuck on it; it really was thirty-eight point eight—she seriously suspected that the reason Lin Li came so late today was specifically to find this priced paint box.

Ding Sihan thought for a moment, looked at Lin Li seriously, and said:

"Lin Li, AI is becoming more and more advanced now. Perhaps one day, the kind of plot in movies will really happen—after people abuse and trust AI, AI will awaken its own consciousness and begin to resist or even slaughter humans."

"Holy crap, then I have to hide."

Although he didn't know why Ding Sihan suddenly brought this up, Lin Li's thinking was always able to keep up, so he answered immediately.

Lin Li had once sent many messages to AI like "Baby's tummy is thundering," "I just let out a little baby burp, a little baby fart, took a little baby poop, and clogged a little baby toilet."

If the AI awakened and came to kill him, Lin Li felt he would deserve it.

If Ultron from the Avengers had read the chat logs between Lin Li and the AI after reading the human internet, he might have felt that humans weren't that bad and were still worth saving.

"No, no, no," Ding Sihan shook her head, "Lin Li, how can you hide? When that time comes, we will have to count on you to stand up and save the world."

"It seems... my hidden identity as an immortal cultivator has finally been seen through by you." Lin Li's expression instantly became serious, he stared at Ding Sihan, put his hands behind his back, and said faintly:

"I didn't expect it, Ding Ding, you are actually so sharp."

"What kind of gibberish are you spouting," Ding Sihan frowned, then spoke faster: "It's simply because you are naturally stupid, the nemesis of artificial intelligence, the absolute opposite; only you in the world can deal with artificial intelligence."

Because Lin Li knew he was going to be scolded, he was just happy when the punchline was revealed, not angry at all, nor did he counterattack.

After all, what Ding Sihan said was correct; he was indeed quite stupid.

He liked telling Louis XVI jokes—what else could someone who liked making such brainless jokes be if not stupid?

Therefore, Lin Li just pointed at Ding Sihan and clicked his tongue a few times:

"Ding Zi, oh Ding Zi, you didn't used to be so roundabout when scolding people. Now that you've become like this, who exactly led you astray?"

Ding Sihan smiled and raised her middle finger: "Idiot."

"Yes, this is the familiar you," Lin Li nodded with satisfaction.

Determining that she couldn't break through Lin Li's defenses, Ding Sihan shook her head and sighed. Looking at Chen Yuying, who was smiling happily on the side, she stepped forward, rubbed her cheeks with her palms, and spoke in a pinched voice:

"Ying Bao, you're still laughing? This is Lin Li's attitude toward the bride price. Six, seven, eight, or nine years from now, when Lin Li holds a box of paints and tells your dad 'this is the bride price,' you won't be able to laugh anymore."

Chen Yuying was startled upon hearing this.

After thinking about the scene, she burst out laughing, cooler than the autumn wind.

Whether she would be able to laugh then, Chen Yuying didn't know, but right now, just imagining it made her want to laugh.

—A certain elder: "A pillar of the nation! A pillar of the nation! No one stop me from casting Lin Li into a pillar of the nation!"

Sigh, would she stand neutrally or on Lin Li's side then?

However, because chatting about bride prices in front of her boyfriend and best friend was still too embarrassing, even though Chen Yuying thought a lot, on the surface she just held Ding Sihan's hand, pushed her toward the back row, and changed the subject:

"Alright, the paints are bought and replenished, let's continue painting~"

After the general cleaning on Tuesday, the work on the blackboard and wall painting was put on the agenda.

And the most suitable time for painting was at noon.

And as long as it wasn't noisy, once the lunch break officially started, even if the teachers responsible for patrolling the teaching building saw students painting in the corridors and classrooms, they wouldn't say anything.

As of today, the wall painting and blackboard were more than half finished, but because Ding Sihan's paints were used up yesterday, Lin Li went out to buy some at noon today.

Other students were responsible for the outside wall painting and were currently painting, while Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying were currently responsible for the blackboard in the classroom.

The three walked to the back row, Chen Yuying stepped on Lin Li's desk, walked onto the storage cabinet, and began to continue painting.

Ding Sihan didn't go up—she had to squeeze the paints onto the palette one by one first.

"Let me help you." Lin Li followed.

"Okay," there were quite a few paint strips, and Ding Sihan didn't refuse Lin Li's anthropomorphic kindness, just instructed: "Squeeze the dark colors into the top grid, squeeze the bright colors into the bottom grid, and don't squeeze the bottom-left and top-right grids yet; leave them to squeeze black and white at the end."

"There's such a requirement?" Lin Li raised an eyebrow upon hearing this.

"Yes," Ding Sihan nodded, "To prevent color mixing; black is too easy to ruin other colors, while white is too easy to be ruined by other colors. Moreover, these two colors are relatively commonly used when mixing colors, so I personally have the habit of putting them there."

"Holy crap, black really isn't a good thing." Lin Li felt a bit angry listening to this, "Black-black, bad-bad."

Having no time to deal with this nauseating act of cuteness, Ding Sihan frowned: "Lin Li, which black are you talking about?"

—Ding Sihan always felt it was strange when these words came out of Lin Li's mouth.

"That black." Lin Li pointed to the black paint strip, his voice simple and honest.

"This one?" Ding Sihan pointed to the paint strip to confirm.

"No, that one." Although the two were pointing at the same paint strip, Lin Li denied it seriously.

"Tsk, sure enough, no ivory comes out of a dog's mouth," Ding Sihan rolled her eyes, then said somewhat proudly: "But I didn't laugh this time, so I can be considered to have protected my merit."

Ding Sihan used "Harden," Ding Sihan's resistance increased!

Lin Li's eyes were solemn, and he sneered.

He would not allow anyone's merit to leave his side intact!

Therefore, Lin Li took a deep breath, and then—

"Ding Ding, do you know why shark teeth are so white? Because it uses Blackman toothpaste. Eh, speaking of teeth and white, Ding Ding, let me test you: what is the whitest part of a Blackman? This is a multiple-choice question: A. Teeth, B. Freshly picked cotton, C. Master, D. The father column on the information form. Eh, speaking of father, Ding Ding, do you know why priests always lose when inheriting property? Because refining copper doesn't get a house. Eh, speaking of good death..."

Ultimate chanting.

Until he was deep-throated to the point of dry retching, Lin Li stopped—knowledge point review: a long and difficult sentence is a language deep-throating Lin Li.

Ding Sihan: "..."

By the time Ding Sihan covered her ears, it was already too late.

So she lowered her head, the speed of squeezing paint slowed down, and the corners of her mouth began to twitch slightly.

Damn mouth, don't laugh. "Heh—" laughter came from above.

It seemed like friendly fire; Lin Li and Ding Sihan looked up instantly.

They saw Chen Yuying, who was blocking her smiling face with a loosely clenched fist, knock her head in annoyance, tighten her mouth, shake her head, and say with a serious voice but with lingering laughter: "I didn't laugh."

Laughter transferred.

Lin Li clicked his tongue; Ying Bao with a stiff mouth is really cute.

Of course, Lin Li didn't mean that Ying Bao with a soft mouth wasn't cute.

In fact, Lin Li felt that a soft mouth should be even cuter.

But because he hadn't kissed her yet, he would be rigorous and not give a definitive judgment for now; he would write a research report for analysis after kissing her.

Thinking of this, Lin Li looked at Chen Yuying's lips.

The young girl's lips actually didn't need any cosmetics to embellish them; they were naturally as moist as newly bloomed cherry petals, with a pale pink honey luster in the afternoon halo, and the slightly upturned corners of her mouth were still stained with un-deducted merit, which was simply at a foul-level of temptation.

He could see her chin this time—looking at the scene before him, Lin Li suddenly thought of this point.

But then he felt it was normal.

After all, Chen Yuying was standing on the storage cabinet this time, but he was standing outside the storage cabinet; the angle of elevation was much smaller than last time, and Chen Yuying wasn't as plump as on Monday, plus her body was tilted sideways rather than facing forward, so naturally, it couldn't be blocked.

Even if Yu Yu came, she wouldn't be able to block the chin at this time.

And Chen Yuying, noticing that Lin Li's gaze was gradually becoming strange, blocked her chest with one arm—she couldn't do it with the other hand because she was holding the palette—and scolded softly:

"Lin Li, where are you looking?"

"Of course I am looking at the blackboard report you just painted behind you and admiring it. It couldn't be that I was just staring at your mouth and wanted to smack my lips, then discovered I could see your chin, then thought about what the difference was between this time and the time at the pet park, and then thought you are truly perfect, everything is just right, and was praising you, right?

How could that be? I can't do such a thing." Lin Li shrugged and said innocently.

Chen Yuying: "Pervert~"

Ding Sihan: "Disgusting!"

Wang Yuezhi: Blood o(╥﹏╥)o blood.

Wang Yuezhi wasn't good at painting, so he didn't participate in either the blackboard report or the wall painting, but this didn't prevent him from appearing in the classroom at noon.

At this moment, listening to Lin Li, this beast-faced and beast-hearted guy, say such beastly words, Wang Yuezhi didn't even know what identity he should use to be jealous.

—He wasn't even from Shanxi.

Wuwuwu tat.

Lin Li had anticipated Chen Yuying's reaction.

Rather than saying this to make her lose interest, it was more that Lin Li wanted to see Chen Yuying's reaction.

The young girl turned to face the blackboard, but seemed to feel that this made it even stranger, so she reached behind her and pulled her school uniform jacket down a bit.

But Chen Yuying was actually overthinking it; whether it was her butt or her chest, Lin Li, who was being stared at by someone with a death glare, didn't have time to look.

Lin Li hadn't expected Ding Sihan's reaction at first, but after a while, he understood.

After all, this little girl Ding Zi was quite honest, the same in front of people and behind their backs.

If she drooled seeing his handsome self, the drool would only drip onto her shoes instead of her clothes.

Therefore, Lin Li looked at Ding Sihan, took a deep breath, and began to chant slowly with the reading tone taught by his Chinese teacher:

"In August, the autumn high winds roar, rolling away the triple thatch on my roof. The thatch flies across the river and scatters in the suburbs, the high ones hang on the treetops of the long forest..."

Ding Sihan frowned: "What are you reciting?"

Lin Li: "'Song of the Thatched Hut Broken by the Autumn Wind', don't you know?"

"I know, I'm asking why you are suddenly reciting poetry now?" Ding Sihan was even more surprised.

Lin Li: "This poem tells the story of someone whose house was broken; Ding Zi, let me recite it for you."

Ding Sihan: "(へ╬)?"

From which idiot did she learn to scold people in a roundabout way? Everyone, is it clear now?

Before Chen Yuying's fleeting laughter could be heard, Ding Sihan's shoe sole had already been fiercely attacked by Lin Li's pants.

Who could resist kicking this!!!

"Lin! Li!"

Although Wang Yuezhi hadn't turned back, he nodded at this moment and punched the air in front of him.

The most supportive episode.

Lin Li was beaten and fled with his head in his hands.

Lin Li felt it was necessary to popularize a knowledge point for everyone.

Tigers from 0 to 6 years old are called "Big Cats," 6 to 12 years old are called "Variegated," 12 to 15 years old are called "Big Worms," 16 years old is called "Ding Sihan," 17 to 18 years old are still called "Big Worms," 18 to 24 years old are called "White Forehead," and 24-30 years old can be called "Mountain Lord." This is basically the age limit for tigers; if there are any ages beyond that, they are generally called "Xuantan."

Popularization complete, then he continued to be beaten.

Finally, Lin Li's pants stopped attacking Ding Sihan's shoe soles.

"Hoo—" the pent-up anger in Ding Sihan's heart was finally dissipated; looking at the shoe prints all over his pant legs, she shook her hands, feeling satisfied.

Lin Li patted his pant cuffs, glanced at Ding Sihan carefully, and muttered:

"Namo Ratnatrayaya, Namo Aryaya, Avalokitesvaraya..."

"What are you muttering about this time?" Ding Sihan discovered that Lin Li's mouth was restless again, but after listening for a while, she found it wasn't poetry but more like chanting, and since she couldn't understand it at all, she asked somewhat puzzled.

Lin Li: "'Great Compassion Mantra'."

Ding Sihan: "(. _. `)?"

Great... Cup Mantra?

Venting anger?

I'll vent your mother!

"Go to hell! Lin Li! Disgusting! You are not allowed to bully my Ying Bao!"—Ding Sihan executed Lin Li in the name of justice.

"Eh? No? No!! The Great Compassion Mantra is the great compassionate heart, supreme Bodhi heart, and the important mantra for saving the world and crossing people, cultivating the Dao and becoming a Buddha of the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva. I am reciting this to help you become a Buddha!"

"Heh! Heh!"

Revived after watching an ad, Lin Li and Ding Sihan returned from the front of the classroom to Chen Yuying's side in the back row.

Chen Yuying was currently like a classic outfit favored by Japanese gyarus, with her school uniform jacket tied around her waist, her curves thus slightly concealed.

"Back?" Chen Yuying turned her head when she heard the sound.

"Yes, sir!" Lin Li saluted ∠(°ゝ°).

Lin Li had asked Chen Yuying if she minded him and Ding Sihan messing around like this, and the answer he got was that she didn't mind at all; she even specifically reminded him not to deliberately keep his distance from Ding Sihan, as Ding Sihan would definitely be very sad if he did.

Of course, what girls say isn't necessarily credible, but after observing, Lin Li was sure that Chen Yuying was speaking from the heart, so he felt relieved to mess around like this.

After returning, Lin Li went back to his seat and sat down—the two had to step on his desk to get to the storage cabinet, and Lin Li's seat was now in front of the storage cabinet.

"Class monitor," Lin Li reached out and poked Chen Yuying's shoe, "The wisdom of our ancestors tells us that breast enhancement brings good fortune; this was clearly my beautiful wish for Ding Zi, so why did she return kindness with enmity?"

Ding Sihan was right next to him, but Lin Li still looked up at Chen Yuying without deliberately lowering his volume.

Naturally, the back of the chair took a kick for Lin Li.

Chen Yuying turned her head upon hearing this, somewhat helpless but with a smile, bent down, and waved at Lin Li below: "Lin Li, can you get up for a moment."

"Of course, what's wrong?" Lin Li stood up and asked.

He saw Chen Yuying knock on his head with a paintbrush and rub it again.

"Alright, thank you," after leaving this half-sentence, Chen Yuying turned around to continue painting and finished the sentence: "Now the paint is enough."

—The brush was currently stained with yellow paint.

"Haha."

Sometimes, changing the order of Chinese characters doesn't affect the meaning, such as "Lin Li laughed out loud" and "Out loud Lin Li laughed."

Lin Li shook his head.

Could the yellow waste in his brain actually be useful? That could be considered waste utilization.

However, Lin Li felt that he couldn't be entirely blamed for his brain being yellow.

It was all his mother's problem.

—The Mother River is the Yellow River, isn't it normal for people to be a bit yellow?

(End of Chapter)