Chapter 47: Can I Give Up Already?

Kill!

Kill, kill, kill!

All people in the world are fit to be killed!

A frantic killing intent surged in her mind, urging Jing Yueqin to reach her hand toward the people within the Array.

Kill them, and use their bones to cast a castle.

"No..."

At the most critical moment, Jing Yueqin raised her hand and pressed down on her own palm.

"No!"

No!

Absolutely not!

I am meant to protect them, not kill them.

Is Duan safe?

Jing Yueqin dared not look back.

She feared that the moment she turned her head, she would no longer be able to restrain her desire for slaughter.

She was clear in her heart about her own state.

Fallen into Demon.

Whether it be a lapse in cultivation, encountering a major blow, or being invaded by external demons, there are many possibilities that can cause a cultivator to fall into Demon.

Bloodthirst, greed for blood, ruthlessness... cultivators who have Fallen into Demon will commit acts previously unimaginable.

Killing kin and betraying the Dao are merely the most common occurrences; the truly terrifying aspect of falling into Demon is that it makes them unable to perceive their own abnormality.

It is not that they intentionally forget, but that they truly feel the actions they take are correct.

After falling into Demon, although a cultivator's body remains unchanged, their soul no longer belongs to them.

It has been thoroughly twisted.

And Jing Yueqin's situation was even more special.

She did not fall into Demon during cultivation; she chose to fall into Demon.

But at that time, she was just a child who had lost her master, lost and helpless.

She had no other choice.

"Ahhh..."

She opened her mouth, letting the blood remaining on her cheek flow into it.

It was the taste of fresh blood.

Sweet, intoxicating.

How long had it been since she experienced this feeling?

She could not quite remember; she only remembered it had been a very, very long time...

Jing Yueqin had suppressed herself for too long; once she broke her vow, the level of pleasure far exceeded her expectations.

If she hadn't relied on her consciousness to forcibly turn her claws into palms at the final moment, Duan Hong would likely have already perished.

"Kill..."

What else was there to kill?

The enemies had already been slaughtered clean by her.

To delay time and gain the greatest pleasure, she had not used any Dao Technique, but instead crushed the invaders one by one with her fists and feet.

But the blood of those invaders was not enough to calm the madness deep within her soul.

She was still craving more slaughter.

And now, the closest lives to her were not far behind her...

"Ahhhhh!!!"

Crack!

Blood tears flowed from the corners of Jing Yueqin's eyes as she bit down fiercely on her own arm!

Letting out a roar like a wild beast from her throat, she knelt heavily onto the mountain of corpses beneath her feet.

Since she could not go on hurting others, then... Jing Yueqin chose to vent this madness upon herself.

Because if she did not do this, she was truly afraid she would be unable to stop herself from rushing in and slaughtering them all.

Biting down hard on her arm, her vision began to slowly sink into pitch black.

The world was a void of darkness, with only her existing alone.

She could hear nothing.

She could see nothing.

She could smell nothing.

In this darkness, there was nothing at all.

In this space, even the desire for slaughter that had been tormenting her vanished.

Peace.

A peace absent for hundreds of years descended upon her soul once more.

Jing Yueqin stared blankly at the darkness before her, and suddenly a question arose.

Why?

Why on earth must I suffer so much?

What mistake did I make?

Is Master not returning because I failed to be a good disciple?

Is Xiaojian trapped by love and refusing to take another step out of Luoyue Peak because I failed to be a good Senior Sister and did not help him when he was in his greatest difficulty?

Is the Sect Leader failing to ascend for the sake of the sect and remaining trapped in a stone statue because I failed to be a good Peak Master of Luoyue Peak?

Is all this misfortune because of me?

"I don't know..."

In this empty world, she finally took off her mask and wailed wantonly:

"I really don't know!"

"I don't want to be in such pain either!"

I do not want to Fallen into Demon, I do not want to lose myself, I do not want to turn into a beast that only knows how to slaughter.

I don't want to!

I don't want to!!

I don't want to!!!

"I..."

"I just want Master to come back, want Xiaojian to be able to smile again, want the Sect Leader to be able to recover his health..."

Her voice grew smaller and smaller, finally leaving only sobbing whimpers:

"But I can't do it, I can't do anything."

Everyone related to me has suffered a miserable fate.

Am I truly a Heavenly Fiend Lone Star?

Parents, kin, master and disciple, the sect... everyone who has become entangled with me has not been able to meet a good end.

Hahaha...

Mad laughter came from afar, echoing in Jing Yueqin's ears.

She tilted her head to listen and discovered it was her own laughter.

She was laughing.

"Hahahaha! What a ridiculous woman!"

She was crying.

"Someone tell me, what on earth should I do!?"

She wailed, praying to the gods, thirsting for an answer.

Jing Yueqin is also a member of the Divine Path Sect and once had her own Dao God.

But her Dao God is already dead.

Three hundred years ago, she strangled it with her own hands.

At this moment, what dwells in her Heart is no longer a god, but a long-suppressed Demon.

Therefore, she can only pray to other gods.

But the gods did not respond.

Responding to her were false phantoms from the past.

"Xiao Qin."

"Master..."

The missing Master appeared before her and smiled:

"Xiao Qin, do not persist any longer, give up."

Master's face seemed to be right before her, gently stroking her hair.

"You have already worked very hard, you can give up."

"I will not blame you, forget me."

No!

No...

This is not the first time she has seen the phantom of Master in her dreams, and she has heard these same words countless times.

But this time, Jing Yueqin's answer was not as firm as before.

"No..."

She is tired.

She is really so tired.

"Master, where did you go?"

She lowered her head, trying to feel the warmth that did not exist in that palm.

Like a child who had done something wrong, tears fell from her eyes.

"I miss you so much."

"But I cannot find you, I cannot find you anywhere..."

"I am so tired, really so tired."

Finally, in the deepest depths of despair, she raised her head and pleaded:

"Can I give up now?"

Master smiled, and the figure dissipated and vanished.

Yes...

There is no need for Master to speak again; she was merely a phantom conjured by her own imagination.

The true answer, she had known long ago.

"Give up."

"It's just that I feel somewhat sorry for Junior Brother; I clearly promised him I would not Fallen into Demon again."

I'm sorry.

But this time, please forgive your senior sister.

"I am too tired..."

After her Heart Star held the will to die, her consciousness gradually sank into silence, and her senses gradually peeled away.

Yet, at the very moment everything was about to turn to smoke.

Jing Yueqin heard laughter.

That familiar, soft chuckle, full of helplessness.

"Found you."

!!!

Jing Yueqin opened her eyes abruptly, and the youth in white stood quietly before her.

"You..."

Looking her up and down, he said with apparent helplessness:

"It's one thing not to come home in the middle of the night, but why are you about to fall asleep in a place like this?"

Extending his hand toward her, the youth smiled naturally.

He said:

"Come, let's go home."