Chapter 815: I Am By Nature A Young Girl

Xiao Douzi, who had lost a finger, joined the opera troupe just like that.

He was the newest arrival, so all the children here counted as his senior brothers.

At night, a group of boys in the room bullied this newly arrived junior brother.

The reason was simple: his mother, Yanhong, was a woman of ill repute, and everyone mocked him for coming from a brothel.

Xiao Douzi looked more like a girl, but his eyes revealed a stubborn streak.

He listened to the verbal mockery and remained silent.

He simply took off the robe his mother had left him, and then, in front of all his senior brothers, threw it into the fire, burning it clean away.

Senior brother Xiao Shitou really wanted to look after this new junior brother; he told Xiao Douzi to come sleep with him, but Xiao Douzi did not appreciate the gesture.

Day broke, and everyone in the opera troupe began their training.

Xiao Douzi was new to all this and could hardly endure it.

His legs were wedged by bricks, and he had to stretch them like that.

Xiao Shitou could not bear to watch and deliberately walked over to kick away a brick to make it easier for him.

But none of this could escape the master's Heart Eye.

Xiao Shitou began to be punished.

The master made him pick up a board, place it on his head, and then pour a basin of water on top of it.

He had to use his head and hands to hold up the wooden board and the water basin while kneeling in the courtyard.

At night, it even started to snow.

By the time Xiao Shitou finished his punishment and returned to the room, his whole body was frozen stiff.

Xiao Douzi said nothing, immediately wrapping his senior brother in a quilt and using his own body to warm him up.

That night, he slept beside his senior brother.

To the young Xiao Douzi, he felt at that moment that his senior brother was someone who was good to him.

Someone who was good to him from the bottom of his Heart Eye.

……..

……..

The next scene was the children practicing opera by the water.

In a blink of an eye, time had passed.

In a transition, the boys had become youths.

Xiao Shitou looked much sturdier.

Xiao Douzi remained incomparably delicate, with a male body but a female appearance.

They still practiced opera every day.

In the pear garden profession, there is a saying: men fear "Night Flight," women fear "Longing for the World."

Xiao Douzi performed the Dan Jiao role; today, in front of his master, he sang a line from "Longing for the World" incorrectly.

He sang the line "I am by nature a young girl" as "I am by nature a young boy."

The master kept hitting his palms, telling him to sing it again.

Over and over, Xiao Douzi still sang it wrong.

This, in fact, is the manifestation of gender identity during a youth's developmental stage.

He was by nature a young boy, yet he had to sing that he was a young girl.

Xiao Douzi told Xiao Shitou that if he died one day, the three coins under his pillow should go to his senior brother.

The scene shifted, and the youths were resting.

Xiao Laizi heard a peddler's cries and told everyone that candied Gourd is the most delicious thing in the whole world.

He declared that if he ever became a star, he would eat candied Gourd as his meals every day.

As he spoke, he went to the door and, while his senior brother wasn't looking, ran out again.

This was not the first time Xiao Laizi had run away; he had had enough of these days.

Xiao Douzi followed him.

But he suddenly stopped, turned his head, and said to his senior brother who was chasing him, "Senior brother, don't forget those three coins under the pillow."

Xiao Shitou knew he wanted to leave, and he didn't intend to keep chasing him, only saying with tears, "You're a lost cause anyway, get lost!"

The two ran to the street, and Xiao Laizi got to eat the candied Gourd he had been longing for.

Just then, a carriage suddenly came from behind.

Sitting in the carriage was a currently popular star!

Xiao Laizi took Xiao Douzi to the theater.

On stage, the stars were performing, glorious and boundless, with everyone cheering for them!

For some reason, both youths shed tears watching all this.

Xiao Laizi cried loudly while saying over and over, "How did they become stars? How much beating must they have endured? How much beating must they have endured…….. When will I ever become a star?"

The repeated "How much beating must they have endured" made everyone in the Cinema feel very uncomfortable.

——To appear noble in front of others, one must suffer behind the scenes.

After watching the opera, Xiao Douzi pulled Xiao Laizi and returned to the opera troupe.

When they returned, their senior brother was being punished.

Xiao Douzi ran over on his own initiative, saying that he was the one who wanted to run away and it had nothing to do with his senior brother Xiao Shitou!

Master Guan was stunned for a moment, then began to beat Xiao Douzi severely.

Xiao Shitou kept telling Xiao Douzi from the side to beg the master for mercy and say something soft, otherwise he would be beaten to death.

But Xiao Douzi had been stubborn since he was small, and the look in his eyes was different from the other children.

He remained silent throughout.

On the other side, Xiao Laizi began taking out the candied Gourd he hadn't finished from his pocket; he had taken these off the skewer and stuffed them into his bosom.

He just gobbled them down like that, mouthful after mouthful.

His senior brother Xiao Shitou finally couldn't bear it anymore; feeling that Xiao Douzi was about to be beaten to death, he still provoked their master.

"You've beaten Xiao Douzi to death! I'll fight you to the death!"

Just at this moment, someone came running over crying, saying something terrible had happened.

Everyone ran over to look and discovered that Xiao Laizi... had hanged himself.

This sudden turn of events left the audience stunned as well.

How much despair must this child have felt toward the future?

………

………

The scene shifts, and Master Guan begins to tell everyone the story of Farewell My Concubine.

Master Guan tells everyone that in this play, there is the principle of Singing and the principle of how to conduct oneself.

That is—a person must fulfill themselves on their own.

Xiao Douzi has a sudden realization and makes up his mind that he will definitely practice his skills well from now on.

Not long after, the former imperial eunuch Eunuch Zhang is celebrating his birthday and wants to host a private performance.

The manager of the theater comes to the opera troupe to pick people.

He takes a fancy to Xiao Douzi at a single glance.

Unexpectedly, as soon as Xiao Douzi opens his mouth, he once again sings the line "I am by nature a girl" as "I am by nature a boy."

Upon hearing this, the manager's face falls.

Seeing that things were about to fall through, the senior brother immediately grabs Xiao Douzi.

He stuffs a pipe into Xiao Douzi's mouth and vigorously rummages around inside his mouth.

There is actually a certain metaphor here.

Blood flows from Xiao Douzi's mouth, and the light that used to be in his eyes is gone.

In fact, from the perspective of metaphor, whether it is the earlier chopping of the finger or the stuffing of the pipe into the mouth here, both are metaphors for gender displacement and also represent castration.

Finally, he manages to sing it correctly; this time he sings: "I am by nature a girl..."

Many of the transformations in the film's story begin from this very moment.

At Eunuch Zhang's birthday banquet, Xiao Douzi plays Yu Ji, and Xiao Shitou plays the Overlord.

After performing at the residence, the two see a precious sword in the mansion.

Xiao Shitou remarks that if the Overlord had this sword, he would surely be able to kill Liu Bang and let Yu Ji become the empress.

Listening to his senior brother's words, Xiao Douzi declares that he will definitely find a way to get this sword and give it to his senior brother.

Xiao Shitou has a wound on his face that hurts whenever he sweats.

Xiao Douzi feels sorry for his senior brother and even helps him lick his wounds.

Afterward, Eunuch Zhang sends someone to take Xiao Douzi away.

That night, many, many things happened; for many people, this scene also left a shadow in their hearts.

By the time Xiao Shitou meets Xiao Douzi outside the residence, he is already dazed and distracted.

As they walk along, they discover an abandoned baby under the city wall.

Xiao Douzi, moved by Kindness, wants to take him back.

The master advises him that everyone has their own fate, and it is best not to do this.

But Xiao Douzi refuses, insisting on bringing the child back to the opera troupe.

This also lays the groundwork for everything that follows.

……..

……..

In the blink of an eye, it is 1937.

Xiao Douzi and Xiao Shitou have become famous stars in Beijing.

Xiao Shitou's stage name is Duan Xiaolou, and Xiao Douzi's stage name is Cheng Dieyi.

They are incredibly glorious now, sitting in a rickshaw, with the manager having to chase after the rickshaw to talk to them.

During their conversation, Cheng Dieyi mentions Eunuch Zhang's residence, saying it has turned into a coffin shop.

As soon as Duan Xiaolou hears this, he knows he must have gone looking for that sword again.

The two arrive at the theater, which is packed with people, all of them crowding around them.

Cheng Dieyi is now just like the star he saw when he was a child, infinitely glorious.

But when he sees the candied Gourd, he still loses focus.

For today's performance, Fourth Master Yuan has also come to show his support.

He is immensely wealthy and a famous opera enthusiast in Beijing.

He thinks Cheng Dieyi's Yu Ji is peerless and admires him immensely.

Backstage, Duan Xiaolou remarks that even without Fourth Master Yuan, they could still sing just the same and be just as popular.

Just at this moment, Fourth Master Yuan actually comes backstage.

He heaps praise on Cheng Dieyi and even gives him a set of priceless rhinestone head ornaments.

At the same time, he points out a mistake to Duan Xiaolou, saying that when the Overlord goes to see Yu Ji, he should have taken 7 steps, but Boss Duan only took five steps on stage.

Duan Xiaolou retorted with a few sharp words, but Master Yuan felt no Anger, even inviting them to his own residence.

Duan Xiaolou refused the invitation, stating that he was going to drink flower wine.

In this play, Juxian made her entrance.

At the place where they drank flower wine, the guests pestered Juxian, insisting she feed them wine with her mouth.

With nowhere to escape, Juxian actually jumped down from the upper floor, and was caught just in time by Duan Xiaolou.

To help Juxian out of her predicament, he first drank a betrothal wine with her, then performed a trick from his childhood, smashing a teapot with his head to intimidate the crowd.

Cheng Dieyi also heard of this matter, but Duan Xiaolou claimed he was only saving someone, and invited him to go out and have some fun together another day.

Cheng Dieyi suddenly flew into an Anger and got up to leave.

The audience understood everything at this moment.

Cheng Dieyi was reminded of his own background.

He was someone who had come out of a brothel to begin with.

Duan Xiaolou hurriedly stood up to apologize: "My mind wasn't here today, brother, I let my tongue slip."

"I deserve to die, brother!" he apologized repeatedly.

Cheng Dieyi then said: "Brother, have you forgotten how we became famous for our Singing!"

"Wasn't it all thanks to a single word from our master."

"What word?" Duan Xiaolou asked.

"Devotion until the end!" Cheng Dieyi said as he ran out.

"Brother, I want you to... no, just let me stay with you and keep Singing for a lifetime, can't we?"

"Haven't we... haven't we already been doing this for half a lifetime?" Duan Xiaolou looked at him, somewhat bewildered.

Cheng Dieyi looked at him and suddenly said loudly: "No!"

"It was meant to be a lifetime! A year, a month, a day, or even an hour less, does not count as a lifetime!"

He had become completely obsessed with the play.

Duan Xiaolou looked at him, sighed, and said: "Dieyi, you really are obsessed with To Live."

"It is true that one must be obsessed to perform."

"But if one is also obsessed while trying To Live..."

"In this world, among these mortals, how are we supposed to survive!"

"Come, help your brother apply his stage makeup," he said.

Seeing this, the audience actually understood that everything from his childhood and youth, combined with his deep immersion in the play, had made Cheng Dieyi different in certain respects.

But Duan Xiaolou was different.

This time, the two went on stage to watch a play, and Juxian was also watching from below.

After she finished watching this play, she went back to redeem herself.

The madam scolded her: "Do you think that once you step out of this door and wash your face clean, you really become a decent woman?"

"Do you think the wolves and tigers in this world won't recognize you anymore?"

Juxian, played by Xu Chujing, had an imposing air; she returned and said: "Oh, you scared me to death."

"Let me tell you, a brothel girl is always a brothel girl," the madam said: "Remember my words, this is your fate."

Upon hearing this, Juxian merely sneered and said: "Fine! See you later."

Then, she sought out Duan Xiaolou.

When she saw Duan Xiaolou, she began to cry, lying to him that she had been kicked out, and that Hua Man Lou would not keep a woman who had been promised in marriage.

It must be said, this woman was indeed clever.

It was clearly her own choice not to stay at Hua Man Lou anymore.

Just as she was crying, Cheng Dieyi arrived.

Upon seeing Cheng Dieyi, for some reason, Juxian's sobbing stalled.

The two stared at each other from a distance, and with just that look, it was as if something began to permeate the air.

However, one could tell from his attitude that Cheng Dieyi did not welcome Juxian, even slamming the door with great force.

Juxian looked at Duan Xiaolou and recounted their meeting that day at Hua Man Lou.

And she told it in front of everyone in the opera troupe.

"You were the one who drank half of that betrothal wine."

"Juxian has a bitter fate; if you take her in, she will be like an Ox or a horse to serve you; if you despise her, at worst, she will just jump back to the building."

Upon hearing this, Duan Xiaolou took off his outer robe in front of everyone and draped it over her, showing his stance.

With so many people watching, he certainly had to do this.

Someone nearby whispered: "This girl is really something."

The people on the side were also egging them on.

"I'm impressed! I'm impressed! This is a damn great play!" The manager also joined in the teasing, adding: "When is the wedding night!"

"Tonight!" Duan Xiaolou said with a smile.

"There's more! You must hold the betrothal ceremony for me in front of all the men of the troupe," Juxian said: "I must enter your Duan family with dignity!"

Juxian was still not satisfied; she wanted to press on step by step.

This was the method of this woman.

"Think I'm cutting corners? Fine! Tonight, it will be the betrothal ceremony, I invite you all to grace us with your presence!" Duan Xiaolou said with a bow.

The door was pushed open with great force at this moment.

Cheng Dieyi walked out from inside with a menacing air.

(End of chapter)