Chapter 252: We Want Exactly This, Damn It!

The Umbrella Duo, a famous A-list comedian pair, is affiliated with Kansai Yoshimoto Kogyo.

Kansai Yoshimoto Kogyo was founded in Osaka in 1912 by Yoshimoto Kichibei; it initially operated theaters before transforming into a talent agency, now possessing numerous well-known comedians, idol groups (such as YKC48), and hosts, while venturing into fields like television production, theater operation, and film investment.

This company occupies approximately 80% of the Japanese comedy market, with influence spanning the entire nation, and is hailed as the "Comedy Empire."

The Umbrella Duo is a comedy act under Yoshimoto Kogyo, in which the 40-something Miyano Hiroyuki is responsible for the "straight man" role, and his partner Miyahara Toru is responsible for the "funny man" role; after experiencing the same dark, grueling theater performances, the duo stood out, spending over a decade slowly gaining a foothold in television stations and gradually becoming A-list comedians.

Fuji TV has a rather deep partnership with Yoshimoto Kogyo behind the scenes; inviting Miyano Hiroyuki today was specifically to have someone to play the "funny man," responsible for asking Uesugi Muneyuki all sorts of bizarre questions, and any offensive parts would naturally be the comedian's responsibility—Fuji TV's plan was that if the questioning succeeded, it was our script, and if it failed, it was the comedian's own arbitrary decision.

In fact, in many situations, whether speech feels offensive or not is just a matter of a single thought; how to master this degree is an essential skill for a comedian, and for these comedians who have struggled in theaters for many years and fought their way out from countless theater newcomers, a pause, an appropriate expression, or a feigned, silly look of feigned ignorance can turn a very offensive question into a less serious joke and a display of mutual understanding.

However, when he came in to greet everyone, both Uesugi Muneyuki and Shirakawa Mai noticed the Cursed Grudge following behind him.

It was an ugly man with a bowl cut, narrow eyes, and a face full of wrinkles paired with a square jaw; at first glance, he gave off a somewhat inexplicably comical feeling.

"That is... Miyahara?" Shirakawa Mai had already recognized who the Cursed Grudge was, and Mai-senpai said in disbelief: "It's Miyano's partner!"

"Wait!" Uesugi Muneyuki was also startled: "Miyano's partner? He is the other half of the Umbrella Duo... but, how can this be?"

"You ask me, how would I know?" Shirakawa Mai rolled her eyes at Uesugi Muneyuki: "If you want to know, go ask! Aren't you able to communicate with Cursed Grudges?"

"Mm." Uesugi Muneyuki did not hesitate this time; he nodded decisively: "There is almost only one way a Cursed Grudge is born, and that is..."

"Murder!" Mai-senpai and Muneyuki-kohai said without a second thought.

The senpai and kohai discussed it for a while and decided not to act rashly for now; a comedian's Cursed Grudge following his partner must mean something had happened, but for the moment, it was impossible to determine what that was, and the Qinghui Stone on Uesugi Muneyuki's right hand had not yet lit up, which meant the corpse was not near the studio.

Uesugi Muneyuki must have a corpse as a medium to communicate.

Better to record the program first.

After carefully reading through the script, Uesugi Muneyuki immediately summoned Hironaka Mariko and gave instructions to his own Cursed Grudge to go find the corpse, then gave an "OK" gesture to the director on set.

The program recording could begin!

Hearing Uesugi Muneyuki's affirmative response, the entire program crew of over a hundred people immediately began to stir, operating with clear division of labor just like a precise but noisy large machine.

The recording of the Fuji TV special variety program, "The Corpse is Speaking! Legendary Young Forensic Pathologist Uesugi Muneyuki—The Forbidden Truth of God's Hand Two-Hour SP," officially begins!

The recording site is a circular transparent glass platform with a diameter of 20 meters, suspended 3 meters in the air, with a giant dynamic human anatomy chart projected below; as blood vessels and bones pulse along with a burst of powerful music, the whole arena begins to throb, and 100 lifting LED screens are spliced into an "Evidence Wall," collecting the ironclad proof from the more than 100 cases Uesugi Muneyuki has handled since his debut, displaying real-time autopsy photos provided by the forensic pathologist, DNA helix special effects, and even 3D reconstructions of simulated crime scenes (such as the Fuji TV Case, for which Hironaka Mariko holds the copyright).

Subsequently, 4 Bronze Anatomy Chaos Demon Statues rose from the four corners of the stage, with laser emitters embedded in their eyes—red, blue, green, and purple, respectively—symbolizing suicide, homicide, death by illness, and accidental death; a dense web of light beams intertwined into a large octagram net, and then a small, jade-white hand tore the entire light net apart, and the National Goddess Shirakawa Mai stepped out from the holographic image, the surrounding light bursting into shattered cherry blossoms; Mai-senpai held a microphone and said loudly: "For the first time in history, a legendary rookie forensic pathologist descends upon this station; welcome to watch the special variety program hosted by us at Fuji TV..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah~" The large circle of atmosphere-setters around them followed along with applause and cheers, the vast majority of whom were Fuji TV staff.

"This time, we have that person—that's right, that person, the one who has shocked the whole country continuously since his debut, turning the impossible into the possible, performing 1,000 autopsies in two years since his debut, verifying over a hundred cases alone, reversing judgments dozens of times, breaking through life and death with incredible insight and judgment, and having decisive performances in the Fuji TV Case, Chiba Case, Todai Case, and Yokohama Case—today, he has come to the scene!"

"Let us welcome the legendary rookie forensic pathologist, Specialized Physician at Medical and Dental University, Forensic Examiner of the Special Mission Unit of the Criminal Investigation Division 1 of the Metropolitan Police Department, legitimate descendant of the Old Nobility Yonezawa Uesugi Residence, direct descendant of the Dragon of Echigo Uesugi Kenshin, the last line of defense for justice in Tokyo, the last hope for the wrongfully dead, excellent graduate of Gunma Tokiwa Middle School, the great savior who rescued Yokohama City's 1.5 trillion yen revitalization plan, the glutton of the Metropolitan Police Department cafeteria, Uesugi-sugi-sugi-sugi-sugi-Muneyuki... 's senpai Shirakawa Mai!"

After finishing, Mai-senpai gave a playful smile to the camera and struck a pose, her bright and radiant eyes curving into the arc of a rising new moon, as moist as spread strawberry jam: "That's me~"

"Hahahahahaha hahahahahaha." A great wave of laughter came from below; only Ikeda Erena did not laugh.

Hmph! Shameless!

Are you and Uesugi really that close?

Uh, it seems they really are quite close.

Erena resentment. jpg

"Haha, just kidding; now let us officially welcome my kohai, Uesugi Muneyuki-kun, to the stage~"

Mai-senpai teased a little, then the lights in the arena dimmed, and the matrix wall flashed a blood-red countdown "5→4→3→2→1"; at the final second, the lasers in the eyes of the anatomy statues fired simultaneously toward the center of the stage, exploding into a cloud of purple smoke.

Uesugi Muneyuki officially appeared.

An ice-blue autopsy table emerged from the smoke, and Uesugi Muneyuki, wearing a black suit paired with a sky-blue tie, slowly rose from beneath the table; holding a gold-plated scalpel, he sliced through the smoke and said coldly: "Corpses never lie!"

Instantly, the matrix wall simultaneously erupted with a hundred autopsy photos, standing like a forest of tombstones.

"Hello everyone, I am Uesugi Muneyuki."

"Welcome, welcome, welcome kohai-kun to our program; wow, it was really so hard to invite you, kohai-kun."

Amidst cheers and applause, Shirakawa Mai and Uesugi Muneyuki sat down in the center of the stage, and the recording of the program officially began.

Facing the camera, Mai-senpai first smiled and said: "This is kohai-kun's first time on a variety show, right? Is there anything you'd like to say?"

Uesugi Muneyuki gave a wry smile upon hearing this: "I was just under the stage, and hearing what you said, I was worried that not that many people could fit on stage; it turns out it's just the two of us."

"Hahahaha~" Shirakawa Mai and the audience of atmosphere-setters below all giggled incessantly.

"Anyway, this is Uesugi-kun's first time on a variety show, right? Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"Well~ it feels so strange." Facing the dozen or so cameras on set, Uesugi Muneyuki was indeed a little nervous; he could only say: "You know, I'm a forensic pathologist, but right now I feel like I'm the corpse on the autopsy table, and these cameras are like scalpels, waiting to cut me apart piece by piece."

"Then I'm the lead surgeon~" Mai-senpai mischievously took the microphone and poked Uesugi Muneyuki in the waist and chest twice: "I'm going to cut you apart piece by piece by piece by piece, and turn you into one, one, one, one kohai-kun, ahhhhh~"

Contrary to expectations, facing Shirakawa Mai's actions, Uesugi Muneyuki—who had always been known in the eyes of all Japanese people as cold, confident, and professional—showed a shy and fearful expression, dodging slightly; he really looked like a green kohai being bullied by a black-hearted senpai, revealing a side of him that was unknown to others.

Thus, Shirakawa Mai quickly controlled the rhythm of the entire interview program, and the two began to chat, starting first from Uesugi Muneyuki's birth; and without a doubt, although he might not truly have a direct blood relationship with Uesugi Kenshin, and the paternal lineage of Uesugi Kagekatsu had also been broken twice, relying entirely on adopting nephews and grandsons from his aunt's and daughter's families to inherit the bloodline, Uesugi Muneyuki was indeed, without a doubt, a legitimate descendant of the Old Nobility Feudal Lord Yonezawa Uesugi Residence.

Subsequently, Fuji TV played a VCR.

One could see the current Head of the House of the Yonezawa Uesugi, a tenured professor of space dynamics at Tokyo University, pretending to look carefully through the screen for a long time before slowly nodding: "It seems there should be no mistake; he is indeed my grandson, my own grandson."

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha~"

Fuji TV's script was quite well-founded; just a few lines of opening dialogue quickly entered the theme, allowing Uesugi Muneyuki's originally aloof, unapproachable, and extremely professional cold image to undergo a transformation, while incidentally creating a persona for Shirakawa Mai as a black-hearted senpai who specifically bullies a green kohai; the chemical reaction came immediately.

And the effect was even a bit too good.

So good that everyone watching from outside the scene subconsciously thought of a question.

The interaction between Uesugi Muneyuki and Shirakawa Mai seemed to have absolutely no sense of boundaries; these two looked like the kind of relationship where they could make unlimited jokes and memes with each other, with the senpai having the kohai completely wrapped around her finger.

Moreover, there was light in the eyes of Shirakawa Mai, this National Goddess, when she looked at Uesugi Muneyuki, and the look in Uesugi Muneyuki's eyes when he looked at his goddess senpai was also filled with complete trust, a faint, lingering affection connecting the two of them.

So much chemistry~

Could it be that there is really something going on between these two?

Everyone at the recording site subconsciously thought this.

And the Fuji TV FNS Production Bureau Department Director on site, Abiru Kazuhiko, was already excessively excited, shaking uncontrollably as if he had Parkinson's.

This is what we wanted; this is exactly what we invited Shirakawa Mai for!

This variety show is going to be a hit!

(End of this chapter)