Chapter 254: A Feng Shui Treasure Land, Fuji TV

PS: I had some unexpected business yesterday, so there was only one update. Therefore, I've expanded today's first update into a 4,000-character mini-epic to apologize to you readers, desu~

From a certain perspective, Hironaka Mariko is the embodiment of the Odaiba Building; she has managed the entire Odaiba Building into her own Cursed Grudge Haunted House, but since this grudge neither harms people nor causes trouble, Fuji TV is still able to operate normally.

After receiving orders from Uesugi Muneyuki, she spent a little time tracking down the trail of Miyahara Toru.

Just as Uesugi Muneyuki and Shirakawa Mai saw, Miyahara Toru is already dead. After he died, he formed a Cursed Grudge, harboring resentment toward his partner, and thus a portion of the Cursed Grudge attached itself to him.

Strange. The Umbrella Duo are A-list Comedians from Yoshimoto Kogyo and have been grinding in the theaters together for over a decade. Their relationship might not necessarily be great, but why would Miyano Hiroyuki kill someone?

Fine, let's take a step back: even if Miyano Hiroyuki did kill someone, why is he still able to appear on the show so calmly?

Uesugi Muneyuki and Shirakawa Mai exchanged a glance, recalling what had just happened.

Just a moment ago, Miyano Hiroyuki's phone suddenly rang on the recording set, interrupting the shoot. He hurriedly apologized and left for a while, and upon returning, he handed his phone to the staff.

Interesting. Shirakawa Mai signaled for me to think of a way.

Uesugi Muneyuki also nodded. Now is not the time to rashly interrupt the recording, or it will make Miyano Hiroyuki alert. He must have a reason for being this calm.

Before that, let everything continue to run.

Previously, Miyano Hiroyuki asked Uesugi Muneyuki: "Did you ever secretly have sexual fantasies about the opposite sex during your high school years?"

"Yes, brother, yes!" Uesugi Muneyuki answered very directly: "I was young and in my prime then, my head was full of fantasies. I didn't just have fantasies about Senior Mai, I fantasized about many people—female teachers, the school nurse in the infirmary, even the proprietress of the nearby izakaya!"

Ikeda Erena, sitting in the audience, couldn't help but curl her lip upon hearing Uesugi Muneyuki say this.

Not a fantasy.

"Hey, hey, hey~" Miyano Hiroyuki didn't expect Uesugi Muneyuki to be so frank, and retorted directly: "So good at fantasizing, are you a sex demon?"

Eirina revealed an expression of deep agreement.

This guy hit the nail on the head!

"This is a sign of vitality!" Uesugi Muneyuki instead lectured him seriously: "Miyano-san, haven't you had them? Are you even a man?"

"Uh, this..." The boomerang returned. Miyano Hiroyuki didn't know how to answer. Although Comedians don't have to care so much about their image, they still have to consider their career in the end. Uesugi Muneyuki is different; he is not essentially a person of the entertainment industry, nor does he need to sell his works or image to the public, so he doesn't have to worry about joking recklessly.

As a result, a battle-hardened Comedian was actually stumped by the question.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha~" The entire studio was filled with a cheerful atmosphere.

"Very good, Miyano-san has given us a good start." Shirakawa Mai held the microphone with a grin, pondering how to lead the scene toward Miyahara: "Alright, let's continue~"

Yamaguchi Maho and Miyawaki Sakura continued to spin the wheel.

This time it was the turn of Banana Man's Shitara Osamu. This guy has a relatively handsome and dashing appearance and is often responsible for the cold, tsukkomi role on the show. He used to be a heavy smoker, two packs a day, and later he actually set his own house on fire due to heavy smoking, which made the news. As it turned out, he became hugely popular because of this news, but after that, he firmly quit smoking.

Perhaps because he does a lot of political and news-related programs, Shitara Osamu's persona isn't very suitable for making crude jokes. Thus, this Comedian asked quite seriously: "As a descendant of the Old Domain Lord Peerage, Uesugi-kun grew up in a new era and is said to have had a good family background since childhood. So, from your perspective, what is the reason why the citizens are living such a bitter life now?"

"Hmm..." Uesugi Muneyuki thought for a moment and gave a concise answer: "Personally, I think there are five major reasons: those caused by crazy river thinking assets, those caused by money-blocking factors, those caused by high-climbing, those caused by long-term tax affairs, and those caused by life-chasing interest."

"However, I am not interested in politics. What I want to do right now is to finish the things in front of me first."

Uesugi Muneyuki gave a brief answer. Fuji TV's overall political spectrum leans to the right, and generally speaking, it is very entertainment-oriented, but it inevitably involves a hint of political color.

Political dramas that satirize the government are the second most boring dramas in history; the most boring are those that praise the government.

Seeing that Uesugi Muneyuki did not intend to express his views on this issue, Shitara Osamu nodded.

This was a small probe by Fuji TV, arranged by that old ghost Kameyama.

The next spin of the wheel landed on Shitara Osamu's partner, Himura Yuki.

Himura Yuki is truly an ugly and fat man, and he can only work hard to play the ugly, lecherous character and the butt of the joke. He appears on screen and shows his face so much that society has become somewhat tired of him, which shows how hard he works. Singing, dancing, facial expressions, reaction arts, tsukkomi, playing the fool, location shoots, impressions—he can do it all.

"Speaking of which, I've felt it was very strange since just now." Himura really started to ramp up the intensity: "Uesugi-kun, do you know Yamaguchi and Miyawaki over there? I noticed you looking at them from time to time? Are you an Idol otaku? Who is your favorite?"

Hmm?

Uesugi Muneyuki thought to himself that this guy Himura is actually not bad.

Although Fuji TV invited the two little Idols Yamaguchi Maho and Miyawaki Sakura, other than appearing, introducing themselves, and being responsible for spinning the wheel, there really was no other script. Himura was clearly sacrificing his own screen time to give these two little Idols a chance to shine.

"Well, I do know them." Uesugi Muneyuki still admitted it very frankly.

"Oh oh oh oh oh!" A large wave of jeering immediately erupted from the surroundings. Not to mention the guests, even the entire staff, Department Director Abiru and Director Yayoi watching from the side, and Ikeda Erena, who came over to play a bit part today, all perked up.

Want to hear, want to hear!

Could it be that Uesugi Muneyuki had something going on with these two little Idols?

Hehehe~ This is a girl Idol group with a dating ban, you know!

And Yamaguchi is one thing, but isn't Miyawaki still a minor?

If one answer goes wrong, this will be another explosive headline!

Japanese people love this sort of thing! Due to the widespread repression and emphasis on collectivism in Japanese society, coupled with severe atomization, Japanese people have an unimaginable obsession with "pranks," "crude humor," and "privacy observation."

"Uh, I've known Yamaguchi for a long time. I remember when I had just entered the Forensic Pathologist profession, we met near a Koban. She was asking for directions, but the police officer on duty had other things to attend to, so I told her I knew where it was." Uesugi Muneyuki said with a smile: "What I remember most deeply is that she is a liar."

"A liar?!" Everyone on set was shocked.

"Yes, Yamaguchi is a liar. This liar lied well, and the good thing is... Yamaguchi, you tell them." Uesugi Muneyuki shook his head repeatedly.

Facing everyone's gaze, Yamaguchi Maho covered her instantly reddening cheeks with both hands, leaking a small animal-like whimper from between her fingers: "I... at that time I told Uesugi-san that I was... I was from Niigata Prefecture, but I was actually from Aomori Prefecture."

"Hahahaha~ So why did you lie?" Himura retorted: "Is there any difference between Niigata Prefecture and Aomori Prefecture?"

Yamaguchi Maho panicked even more. The girl thought to herself, I can't say that because I didn't want to admit I was a country girl from Aomori Prefecture at the time, and thinking that I had come from Niigata Prefecture by Shinkansen and had lived there for a while, I subconsciously answered Niigata, right?

Sob sob sob, what should I do?

I have to commit seppuku, I have to commit seppuku to apologize in front of the people of the whole country and my hometown!

The girl was so anxious she was about to cry again. She had no choice but to instinctively want to tell the truth—that is, she had taken the Shinkansen from Niigata to Tokyo, and her first reaction was to state the departure point.

Hmm? Just as she thought of the Niigata Shinkansen, the girl suddenly thought of the promotional posters in the station.

"It's because..." Yamaguchi Maho said with her head down: "It's because of Uesugi-san. When I heard his surname was Uesugi, I thought of the Dragon of Echigo Uesugi Kenshin, so I answered Niigata (the current name of the ancient province of Echigo) to see if I could strike up a connection."

The girl's explanation shocked the entire studio.

That was truly a blind cat bumping into a dead mouse; the luck was too good, right?

"Wait, Uesugi-san, when you and Yamaguchi met, did you say you were Peerage?" Himura Yuki asked in astonishment.

"No." Uesugi Muneyuki was also left between laughter and tears by Yamaguchi Maho's answer: "Heaven knows how she came up with that."

"Then she really guessed it right! Meeting Uesugi and taking him for a descendant of Lord Kenshin." Himura Yuki was suddenly excited, saying to Yamaguchi Maho: "Wait, could it be that your Yamaguchi is the Yamaguchi of Yamaguchi Momoe-san?"

"No, no, I, I was just talking nonsense!" Yamaguchi Maho was so embarrassed she squatted on the ground and covered her head with both hands: "I beg you all, please stop talking! I was just associating it subconsciously, I didn't expect it to be true."

"Hahahaha~" The whole room burst into laughter.

"Then how did Uesugi-san get to know Sakura?" Himura struck while the iron was hot; as a veteran Comedian, he knew very well that this segment would definitely be selected for the final cut.

"About Sakura... it's quite interesting to talk about." Uesugi Muneyuki smiled: "That time, Mai and I came to Fuji TV for business. After we finished, we were just coming out of the Odaiba Building when we met her. It was very unexpected; she actually took the initiative to come over and greet us."

Sakura was just feeling annoyed that her spotlight had been stolen by Yamaguchi, but when she heard Uesugi Muneyuki take the initiative to mention her, all eyes in the room turned toward her, and she hurriedly took a deep breath to prepare herself.

"I still remember the shocked expression on her Agent's face when seeing that scene. Doing that is indeed very strange, but I unexpectedly like it very much." Uesugi Muneyuki said in a deep voice: "Our country's culture emphasizes a sense of shame, caution, restraint, and not causing trouble for others, but in reality, in many cases I have personally handled and some Autopsies, it is precisely this habit that leads to many difficulties encountered during investigations."

"If you ask, there's nothing; if you investigate, they don't cooperate; if you ask again, they have no opinion, but their faces are always written with 'uneasy desu'. I hate that the most."

"If there is a problem, bring it up; if there is something worth noting, you must say it; if you encounter any injustice or have any requests, speak up boldly. If those in the know don't cooperate, how is our Special Mission Unit supposed to carry out our work?"

"So, I really like such a straightforward Sakura!" Uesugi Muneyuki said to Mai: "I remember that you, Mai, have never had the habit of taking photos with others, right? But when Sakura came up to ask, I forced you to take a photo with her."

"Tsk tsk, Junior, you also know that this is forcing, right! Don't tell me you particularly like forcing others in daily life?" Mai curled her lips, her exquisite and beautiful face full of indulgent, silly smiles: "Although Sakura is indeed very cute."

"No, actually I only like forcing you, just like how you like forcing me." Uesugi Muneyuki squinted his eyes. Looking at him like this, it was clear that the black-bellied senior had played with her innocent junior quite a bit in daily life.

The Junior's counterattack!

"Damn it, next time we eat at Yoshinoya, I must order an extra-large bowl with double beef and extra onions, plus an onsen egg, and I'll pay +150 yen to change the miso soup to pork tonjiru!" Mai patted Uesugi Muneyuki on the head angrily: "That's for forcing me! And I'll make you treat Sakura to a portion too, since you like her so much!"

"Oh oh oh oh~" The people around looked at the bickering of this golden boy and jade girl, and one after another let out ambiguous sighs.

And the expression on Sakura's face immediately changed from somewhat fearful to ecstatic.

This segment will definitely be selected by Fuji TV for the final cut!

She had her own camera time, her image was established, her persona was set up, and she even gained a meme firmly tied to Uesugi-san and Mai-sama.

I can play with this meme for at least five years!

The little Idol was so excited that her legs were clenched tight; the strange feeling of rising and peaking made Miyawaki Sakura feel as if she were in heaven.

Fuji TV, Odaiba Building, truly a geomantic treasure land belonging to me, Sakura!

Giving two little Idols each a set of shots, and creating a meme and a topic for each of them, had already exceeded the Fuji TV script, but Director Yayoi and Department Director Abiru both felt that the effect of this segment was particularly good, and they also had to give face to Uesugi and Mai, so they did not stop it.

They could consider having Miyawaki Sakura appear regularly; Department Director Abiru felt that his idea of inviting Miyawaki Sakura along was something only a genius could think of.

"Actually, Fuji TV is indeed a geomantic treasure land, for example... the incident last time." Seeing that the situation was about right, Bai Chuan Mai began to take the initiative to guide the topic. She covered her mouth and smiled: "At that time, I was also in the Odaiba Building. Suddenly someone told me the building was sealed and we couldn't get out. I thought something had happened outside, like a zombie apocalypse or something, but I didn't expect it to be a case."

"Speaking of which, inside the Odaiba Building, are there many places suitable for hiding a corpse?" Mai followed the trend and said to Uesugi Muneyuki: "It's rare to have the opportunity to come to the Odaiba Building to record a show, Junior, can you take us to explore it?"

"Is Senior going to force me again?" Uesugi Muneyuki and Bai Chuan Mai sang in harmony.

"Consider it me begging you, how about that?" Mai giggled endlessly.

"Alright then." Uesugi Muneyuki took the initiative to stand up, signaling that no one understands the Odaiba Building better than me (referring to where a corpse can be hidden)!

Then this legendary Forensic Examiner really made a show of wanting to conduct a grand search of Fuji TV.

The Fuji TV staff off-stage were all stunned.

We're going to film on location???

Wait, this part wasn't in the script!

(End of this chapter)