Chapter 971: Offshore Girl

Uesugi Muneyuki had taken a cruise once in his previous life.

The route was Magic Capital — Busan — Fukuoka (sometimes it seemed to be Okinawa); two people cost roughly 8,000 Soft Girl Currency, plus 75 USD in tips and extra fees like WiFi at sea.

So, how was the voyage experience?

To put it bluntly, the experience was terrible.

First, compared to a hotel a cruise ship definitely has more noise and more rocking — let's not even mention those; the key issue is that while there were huge crowds, the onboard experience was still very poor.

In short, because the cruise's high-end tickets couldn't sell and low-end tickets were also hard to sell in large volumes, the cruise dumped these tickets via group buys, giveaways, and arrangements onto a huge bunch of old uncles and aunties!

What are the characteristics of old uncles and aunties?

Noisy, chattering, fond of arguing, and greedy for petty gains — they wolf down and grab at the free buffet, crowd and clamor at the free performances. Meanwhile the truly valuable meals, services, and performances on the cruise all require extra payment.

As it happens, Uesugi Muneyuki himself was a freeloader too, and honestly in his previous life he was just a low-level clerk at the bottom of society; whoever got on the cruise had already spent nearly 10,000 big ones — three months' savings — and seeing that more money had to be forked out, anyone would feel psychological pressure.

Good grief, the result was spending all day squeezed together with the old uncles and aunties for the free services, while the paid services could only be watched, not enjoyed — overall it highlighted nothing but extreme frustration.

Uesugi Muneyuki still remembers the scene in the buffet restaurant where the seafood had just been brought out and was instantly plundered clean by the old uncles and aunties, and the nightmare of the archery activity requiring a queue of over an hour, while the real big spenders enjoyed high-end services that cost even more extra.

He also understood why Sam's Supermarket is so popular — to some extent, the 200-plus annual membership fee's greatest value lies in letting him avoid decision paralysis, and in isolating those old uncles and aunties.

So overall the experience was very bad; Uesugi Muneyuki swore then and there that he would never take a cruise again in this life.

He kept his promise well — he said he wouldn't take one in this life, didn't say he wouldn't in the next!

Good, this life's cruise finally has no old uncles and aunties!

Then, as for whether only a certain country's old uncles and aunties are this annoying and clingy?

Actually, not really.

If everyone is familiar with Japanese history, they would know Japanese people have the same kind of problem; in the 70s and 80s, especially after the 80s when they got rich, Japanese old uncles and aunties were equally detested worldwide — Europeans and Americans even coined a specific term for this group of greedy, rat-racing, queue-loving, crowd-loving Japanese uncles and aunties.

But it's unavoidable, because the main body of Japanese people in that era were from the post-war baby boom "Dankai generation"; they experienced hunger and depression after WWII (some even pre-war and wartime), lived through eras of material scarcity, so their minds were imprinted with similar steel stamps — must squeeze, must grab, must eat more and take more.

And Japanese people's quality truly improved only when the 70s-onward "Yutori generation" grew up — that is, Nobita Nobi and Shin-chan Nohara's generation; they grew up in material abundance, at least without worries about food and drink, never experienced extreme scarcity and hunger, were spiritually more affluent — from this era Japanese people's quality began to rise rapidly.

Same for anyone — the feeling of hunger and scarcity leaves the brain with an unforgettable memory and a terrible instinct.

So the conclusion is: since you're here to play on a cruise, play it well, spend the money to play it well; don't both feel distressed that you've already spent a lot and still have to pay a second time so you have massive psychological pressure, and also harbor thoughts of comparing prices with the outside world, seeing many things are three times the land price, and feel frustrated. Of course, most importantly, avoid brats and old uncles and aunties!

Uesugi Muneyuki spoke with a straight face; Mai Xuejie laughed, her shoulders trembling lightly as she laughed, her whole person sinking into the sofa, looking much more relaxed than usual.

"What cheap route?" Mai Xuejie giggled: "Asuka 11 is different. This route focuses on 'high-quality slow travel'; the passenger demographic is different, and — truly good things all require a second payment. Besides the main restaurant there are three paid restaurants: one kaiseki, one French, one teppanyaki. The ship has a private hot spring bathhouse, a VIP observation lounge, reservation-only SPA suites. These aren't included in the ticket, but—"

She fished a card from her bag, pinched it between two fingers, and waved it in front of Uesugi.

"—Our budget is ample."

Uesugi Muneyuki looked at the card in her hand: "The 2 million Fuji TV reimbursed, how much is left?"

Fuji TV reimbursed 2 million yen for this voyage.

"Plenty left. Because your vlog quote they later added another 500,000." Mai Xuejie put the card away, smiling: "So this time you just eat, just drink, just lie back and watch the sea, don't worry about anything."

"Really don't have to worry about anything? I'm temporarily Mongolia~" Uesugi Muneyuki pouted.

When the four came out of the suite, Sakura had changed into a light blue cardigan, Asuka into a white short hoodie, Mai still wore that pearl-white coat but had tied the belt more casually, while Uesugi still wore that charcoal gray trench coat — he never bothered to change clothes when going out. They walked slowly down the central staircase from the 12th floor.

The cruise ship in the afternoon was still very quiet; most passengers were either organizing luggage in their rooms or taking photos on the deck; the hallway occasionally had one or two middle-aged people wearing sunglasses, smiling and nodding at them.

Have to say, Japanese tourism is good in this respect — no matter what these Japanese people think inside, at least the surface courtesy is done thoroughly, and regardless of whether the other party is a celebrity, Japanese people never excessively pester or disturb; as for afterwards, sorry, ever heard of "ichigo ichie"? For many people, a lifetime really is just this one meeting.

Life is really short.

Mai Xuejie walked in front, pace neither fast nor slow, like a male lion patrolling his territory, composed and magnanimous, bright and dazzling, face always wearing a relaxed shallow smile, a pair of sunglasses adding even more domineering aura.

She walked while pointing out various places: "This floor is the observation corridor; daytime you can read and watch the sea, evening there will be piano performance. The floor below is the duty-free shops, cosmetics and tobacco and alcohol all available; tomorrow afternoon I plan to go take a look."

"You're buying cosmetics?" Asuka asked curiously: "But isn't it very expensive here?"

"Buying for you, Ashūshū." Mai Xuejie glanced back at her: "You're about to enter the Metropolitan Police Department Public Relations Division; you need a few decent things to hold the scene. Lipstick, foundation, eyebrow pencil — I'll help you pick."

Asuka froze a moment, then averted her gaze, said softly "... Thanks, Mai-sama~" her little ear tips turning red again.

Sakura got very excited: "Me too me too! Mai-sama! I'm also your Sakura! Loyal! Ty!"

"All have, all have, everyone gets a share!" Mai-sama seemed not to mind as she waved her hand; she was about to say something when suddenly a strong, forceful sea wind rushed at their faces.

......" The sea wind passed through Mai Xuejie's body, even blowing the hem of her coat up fluttering.

"?" Uesugi Muneyuki noticed a trace of red flush flash across Mai Xuejie's face; she subconsciously pressed down her skirt hem, coughed once, pretending nothing happened.

Wait, this woman blushes too?

Why?

However the subsequent reaction made Uesugi Muneyuki even more suspicious.

Because Sakura and Asuka almost simultaneously let out an "ah", subconsciously clamped their legs and squatted directly on the ground pressing down their skirt hems tightly; Sakura's face was flushed crimson in a trance, face red enough to almost drip water, expression dazed looking at Uesugi Muneyuki and Mai Xuejie, eyes full of chaos and yearning.

While Asuka hugged her head and crouched defensively, expression unclear, only seeing her legs trembling: "Meow, such a lewd wind ah 'I hate it' Mo" "???" Uesugi Muneyuki thought it's just a gust of wind, is it that serious?

What's going on?

Huh?

Could it be?

He looked again at Mai Xuejie with eyes full of smiling autumn-water trance and dazzling radiance; his heart suddenly grew more anticipatory of the evening's activities. The four strolled for a while, and just as they were about to head to the kaiseki restaurant for dinner, Uesugi Muneyuki suddenly noticed something. For no reason at all, he noticed several people in bunny girl outfits inside the bar; normally this is nothing strange, but besides the bunny girl outfits they were also wearing bunny girl masks — that was a bit strange.

"What are you looking at?" Mai Xuejie noticed Uesugi Muneyuki's reaction.

"Bunny girl outfits aren't strange; what's with the bunny girl masks?" Uesugi Muneyuki pursed his lips, gesturing for Mai Xuejie to look over there. "Oh, bunny girls, what's strange about that." Mai Xuejie glanced, couldn't help shaking her head: "Could it be you really like bunny girl outfits? Although I didn't bring any this time, if you beg me..."

"That's not what I mean!" Uesugi Muneyuki shook his head repeatedly: "I mean... anyway, I feel it's weird; speaking of which, Mai-sama, among the Old Gods and New Gods is there anything connected to bunny girls?"

"If you put it that way... the one connected to bunny girls is the Love and Lust Goddess Chi Rui An, but human belief in Chi Rui An is already BC history; you still remember *Berserk*?" Mai Xuejie said casually: "Roughly that kind of Old God; legend says she governs 'Love and Fertility'; at the dawn of time she created men and women; she loved humanity deeply, loved to the point humanity couldn't bear her love, so her love gradually twisted, evolving into excessive worship of reproduction and desire — wild and bestial; but from a certain extent, much of our current power comes from her; her 'Flower Magic' is very similar to Shinto's many source magics; like our Shrine Maiden divine techniques are mostly variants of Flower Magic; can't help it, Shrine Maidens originally represent holy sexuality, naturally connected to Chi Rui An."

"Is that so? So weird." Uesugi Muneyuki looked again.

He always felt one of those bunny girls seemed to be a man.

"Don't look; Chi Rui An once operated on Earth, but that was a very long time ago." Mai Xuejie shook her head repeatedly: "The Tide of Logic is here; Chi Rui An hasn't appeared for over 1800 years."

"You never tell me these things." Uesugi Muneyuki mused.

"Because you don't need to know." Mai Xuejie spread her hands: "If you knew, you'd naturally ask, and then I'd tell you; if you don't know, I have no need to tell you—it would only add extra burden to you. Often, knowledge is not a kind of wealth, but also a curse." "An ignorant mind is more easily filled with loyalty and faith……" Uesugi Muneyuki laughed: "Seek to know, and knowledge breeds longing; only the sage and the cunning, do not be troubled by it! Praise the sage and the cunning!"

"Alright, alright, alright, whether you praise the bird-headed god or the yellow-skinned one, I don't care—matters have come to this point, let's eat first!"

The "Tsukinami" kaiseki cuisine restaurant on Asuka 11 is located at the stern on the fifth deck, with floor-to-ceiling windows facing Yokohama Bay under the setting sun. Golden afterglow spreads across the sea surface, and as the cruise ship departs port, the gently undulating waves shatter into countless glimmering scales of light, filtering through the glass onto the dark wood-grain floor of the restaurant, coating every lacquerware on the tables with a warm, moist sheen.

Uesugi Muneyuki chose a window-side four-person seat.

He took off his coat and loosened his tie; Shirakawa Mai sat opposite him, having removed her coat and wearing only that pearl-white long-sleeved knitted sweater, the cuffs rolled up to mid-forearm, revealing a section of smooth, moon-white jade-like wrist, white to the point of being dazzling.

Sakura and Asuka sat on either side, both staring anxiously at the densely packed names of kaiseci set meals on the menu.

"What does this 'Spring Seven Herbs Gosenshū' mean?" Asuka pointed at the menu: "Are there really seven kinds of herbs inside?"

"Yes." Sakura nodded seriously: "When I used to help at the shrine, the seven-herb porridge during New Year's contained seven kinds of wild vegetables; eating it could dispel illness and ward off disaster."

"Would the seven herbs served on the cruise ship be frozen?"

"Probably……not?"

The two huddled together, chattering away, while Uesugi Muneyuki had already closed his menu and told the waiter: "Four servings of the 'Tide Banquet,' drinks ordered separately, first bring a bottle of cold sake."

The waiter gave a slight bow and withdrew.

Mai Xuejie leaned back in her chair, tilted her head to gaze out the window at the sea—one by one, the white lighthouse of Yokohama Port was slowly receding; the cruise ship's speed was neither fast nor slow, and the engine's vibrations transmitted up through the deck, like some kind of low, rhythmic lullaby.

"The atmosphere is nice." Mai Xuejie said: "At times like this, we should have some music……How about a song called 'The Meaning of Goodbye'?" As soon as her voice fell, the lights on the small stage inside the restaurant lit up. An electronic piano was pushed to center stage, a microphone stood beside it, and a woman in a light-pink dress walked up holding a guitar.

At first glance, Uesugi didn't recognize her, only feeling that the woman had a petite figure, a sweet smile, and a natural affability.

And, her head was especially big!

"Her head is so big!" Sakura spoke up for Uesugi Muneyuki.

"Eh, is it really her???" Asuka opened her mouth wide.

She?

Uesugi Muneyuki found her somewhat familiar, but couldn't recall where he'd seen her.

She sat on a high stool, tested the microphone, then spoke in a voice full of energy:

"Good evening, everyone! I'm Akimoto Manatsu! Today I happened to encounter this piano on the ship, and I simply couldn't resist wanting to sing a song—one I hope everyone won't dislike, okay!"

In the restaurant, scattered polite applause broke out.

Akimoto Manatsu?!

Uesugi Muneyuki suddenly remembered!

Akimoto Manatsu! Back when Saito Asuka was still attending Tsukuba University High School, there was a girl who came to ask for her autograph named just that—unbeknownst to anyone, she's grown this big?

Well, I mean her head!

Only see Akimoto Manatsu pluck a few guitar strings, clear her throat, then

Sing Shirakawa Mai's representative song "Only Seven Years Old, the Girl Who Washed Ashore (Offshore Girl)".

As a Kokumin Joyuu, Bai Mai singing is purely for fun, but even so, the song's reception isn't bad.

However, when the big-headed girl sang the first line, Uesugi Muneyuki's chopsticks paused.

On the second line, Sakura covered her mouth.

On the third line, Asuka's eyebrows began twitching uncontrollably, she pouted her lips, wanting to cover her ears.

Akimoto Manatsu stood on stage with her eyes closed, singing passionately. She was clearly immersed, her whole body swaying slightly with the beat, her face wearing that expression of "I think I'm singing really well."

But the problem is

She's off-key. Wildly off-key.

Originally "Only Seven Hometown, the Dog and the Child" was a song with a sea breeze feel, a gentle mid-tempo lyrical melody, and the arrangement included a signature vocal run, once praised by music critics as "a breathing sensation like waves advancing layer upon layer."

But in Akimoto Manatsu's mouth, that vocal run turned into a breathless "woo-oh-woo-oh," like a cat with its tail stepped on climbing stairs.

The chorus was even worse. Originally meant to glide lightly over the high notes as "la na yumi," she sang it as explosive sounds, the tail note breaking like shattering glass.

The restaurant fell silent for two seconds, then someone chuckled quietly.

Uesugi put down his chopsticks and lifted his head to look across at Shirakawa Mai.

Shirakawa Mai's face was changing visibly to the naked eye.

Her "today is a holiday, everyone don't spoil the fun" relaxed expression was being withdrawn bit by bit, her lips pressed into a line, and near her temples a faint blue vein could be seen pulsing.

Her hand holding the teacup didn't tremble—our Mai Xuejie is a Kokumin Joyuu, a professional, and would never lose composure in public—but that teacup was gripped so tightly her knuckles turned white, and on her face a frightening black aura began to rise.

It's over!

Akimoto Manatsu summoned the second stage of Shirakawa Mai—Heishi Mai!!!