Chapter 344: Getting paid to slack off is the best

Because they feared the later-arriving guests would feel slighted and panic, causing unnecessary trouble, in the banquet servers' arrangement the three of them were actually placed back-to-back, entering one after another.

So even though the most basic welcoming etiquette still existed, giving the guests a bit of intermission space, downing such strong liquor in one gulp… once the alcohol hits, how could it possibly wear off easily?

Having already downed two big cups, now looking at this third cup in front of them, anyone would feel a bit apprehensive; besides, you can't just drink—everyone's a respectable person, you have to say a toast first, which just ramps up the pressure.

As a result, when Ji Ming looked around, he saw a room full of red-faced grotesques with twisted expressions, struggling to control his numb, stinging mouth and tongue, forcing a strained expression.

Those in the know said they were praising the Divine Chosen Sir's bravery against the evil god's incarnation; those unaware thought they were chanting in unison, adding rap to a new K-pop song.

Ji Ming: ……

Damn, you Radiance people really know how to have fun.

But those who could be floored by these three cups of strong liquor are mostly low-ranking martial arts geniuses who can't even get a proper career panel.

Among the guests there still existed tough types who could down strong liquor without furrowing their brows; after showing off their empty cups, they walked over to strike up a conversation with Ji Ming.

Considering his build already surpassed the double-door fridge physique of Korean manhua, he could easily cameo as a super-tough character in Hong Kong manhua; Ji Ming thought he must be the contemporary Duke of Jueqiao.

Sure enough, in the next second, that burly man whose palm was bigger than his head reached out his hand.

Hello, Divine Chosen Sir, I am the eighteenth-generation Duke of Jueqiao, my name is Hertman, thank you for your hard work on the journey.

Hello, Duke Sir, I am Ji Ming, may the Holy Light bless you.

After shaking hands, lifting his head, Ji Ming suddenly felt like he was back in kindergarten, trying to cozy up to the cook uncle, wondering if he could sneak an early pancake.

But this guy obviously lacked the simple-mindedness of an old uncle that Ji Ming could sweet-talk into giving him special treatment; as the manager of the kingdom's southern industry's largest enterprise, Hertman's rough exterior hid a meticulous, scheming old fox.

But what of it?

Ji Ming had poured all his skill points into this field, and with the double influence of charm and suggestion technique, Hertman unknowingly ended up chatting with him for a long time—long enough that the duration equaled the combined time of the first two distinguished guests.

This could be considered quite rude; if someone with an agenda seized on it, they'd say that as a kingdom duke he was playing favorites, openly looking down on meritorious subjects and royal descendants…

Although objectively such groundless rumors couldn't really harm him, who wants a bucket of mud splashed on them?

So Hertman could only suppress his desire to keep chatting, finding an excuse to end the conversation.

I heard that with your esteemed presence tonight, the number of guests who came far exceeded my expectations; naturally that's good, but as the host I still have many matters to attend to, so I won't keep you company here any longer—please understand.

Understood, please feel free to go about your business.

And after finally surviving those three deadly cups of strong liquor, the guests who had suffered through it also relaxed.

At that moment, seeing Hertman turn and leave, a few sharp-eyed individuals immediately approached, trying to strike up a conversation with this mysterious Divine Chosen Apostle who was simply inexplicable.

Although Ji Ming had done many things in Sunlight City, from when he started operating until today less than three months had passed, and his main area of activity was the extremely remote south of Jueqiao Pass, so much of the information was inevitably delayed.

So after leaving Black Forest Territory, his fullest deeds could only circulate among the kingdom's few sensitive high officials and the church's core managers; for most people, his biggest impression—or rather, his biggest controversy—remained the phrase "a Divine Chosen from outside civilization."

The common folk thought the noble lords were dead, spending all day eating, drinking, and playing, not knowing where they'd dragged a vase from to serve as a mascot; today they dare let barbarians take charge, and tomorrow they might even invite the Deep Forest into the pass.

The nobles thought the church elders were dead, a nest of hypocrites constantly scheming and fighting for promotion until they were exhausted; after all that wrangling, this so-called 24k pure gold "Divine Chosen Apostle" ended up in outsiders' hands—nothing but court‑level clowns.

The church elders were more blunt: upon hearing that Ji Ming had high charm and many lucrative, hard‑nosed money‑making avenues, they all privately speculated that this youngster was either the illegitimate offspring of an exiled cardinal or that he conformed to church tradition in the arts, differing only slightly from the aged pope on sexual matters.

— In short, a cross‑industry Ding Zhen, judged to be pure‑pure charm‑profit.

Therefore these celebrities had all braced themselves to go all out, ready to lick up whatever this youngster turned out to be before speaking, but they unexpectedly found that Ji Ming not only dressed more respectably than them, his tone was even more aristocratic.

Wow, Divine Chosen Lord is even more graceful and poised than I imagined!

They came with the mindset of digging for treasure just for fun, continuing to chat, yet they were astonished to discover that the Divine Chosen before them was practically a pure cure for wounded hearts—every word hit just right, every utterance left them refreshed and delighted.

Whether they were over fifty, old‑hand socialites who'd been around the block, or newcomers trying to trade their looks for future capital, wealthy young ladies…

Regardless of their purpose, experience, or train of thought, they all unknowingly slipped into the Divine Chosen's speech rhythm and couldn't extricate themselves, so in the blink of an eye a large crowd of guests gathered around him, with communication subtly centering on him.

Ji Ming could achieve this not merely because of charm and eloquence; if that were all, he couldn't have fooled so many wily old foxes who won't act unless they see a rabbit. The main reason is that he unintentionally revealed some unique competitiveness of his own, such as…

Good heavens, what is this black aura emanating from me? This… right! Exactly! I remember now—when I previously took a caravan out to trade, I offended an old sorcerer, and ever since then my body has grown weaker and weaker; could it be that I've been cursed?

After putting away the golden‑glowing calming talisman, Ji Ming gave a faint smile.

That's right.

I thought you only had accomplishments in medicine, but I didn't expect you to know so much about antiquities too—haha, it's actually a treasure from the ancient Holy Tree Kingdom; I'll have to properly thank my old buddy later.

After shifting the transparent box labeling the small boss out of his view, Ji Ming gave a faint smile.

I know a little.

Divine Chosen Lord, lately I've been feeling listless, warm, full of energy yet unable to sleep—can you come to my room tonight to treat me?

By positioning himself to let the old man beside him separate from this overly enthusiastic lady, Ji Ming gave a faint smile.

No.

By this point, although he had originally thought today was just terribly unlucky and that he'd have to endure dual bodily and mental torment, the guests realized after just a few words that he was actually reluctant to leave.

If this world had visible reputation points, Ji Ming's would now be rising locally at a straight‑line surge.

Many guests who had previously paid little attention to this Divine Chosen now scrambled to find a way, hoping to squeeze into his circle, utter a couple of auspicious words, and gain a familiar face.

Heh, actually I have some caravans under me that also go south out of Jueqiao Pass to trade with even more distant places, so I'd heard of the Divine Chosen Lord's reputation before; seeing him today, he's indeed heroic and vigorous, a youthful hero…… Well then, I won't disturb you any further—I hope we'll have another chance to meet!

The kindly old man laughed and walked out of the circle, silently came to the corner, gave a light cough; from the shadows a figure immediately slipped out.

Sir, please give your orders.

The old man's eyes flashed with malice, he gritted his teeth.

Investigate all our spies south of Jueqiao Pass thoroughly, see what information they've been reporting—Is the Holy Light House's Divine Chosen a barbarian? Is the church's influence here weakened to the extreme? I suspect they've never even been to Sunlight City!

Yes, sir!

The messenger who received the order instantly turned into a wisp of green smoke and vanished, leaving only a faint scent of grass and wood that soon dissipated.

So after that, Ji Ming would occasionally feel that his merit had inexplicably risen a bit, because he had indirectly caused the death of a corrupt schemer who took bribes from both sides, his other deeds being a litany of villainy……

No matter how smoothly he handled things and how well he navigated social circles, Ji Ming was just one person, while the elite from every field were a constant stream—he couldn't possibly keep up with them all; feeling mentally and physically exhausted, he could only slowly draw the crowd toward the restrooms and then slip away to urinate.

But when he slipped into that ultra‑clean toilet with a magical water‑supply system, he realized he had rushed in so urgently that he'd forgotten to put down his drink, entering while holding a cup of pale‑gold whiskey.

……

Extremely fresh, extremely delicious.

He first took a sip to calm his nerves, Ji Ming recalled how everyone had reacted earlier, realizing they were still happily chatting and hadn't noticed his heaven-defying act, so he took another sip to celebrate.

He tossed the empty cup into his storage ring, Ji Ming rubbed his slightly stiff face in the mirror, suddenly reminded of his office days when he'd sneak off to the bathroom for a paid poop whenever he got the chance.

Ah, playing games on the sly is the most fun, slacking off is also best done secretly; looking back now, I kind of miss it a little……

So he, who had intended to rest briefly then get back in the fight, suddenly didn't want to go out; after all, he'd been sitting in a carriage all day, and intense battles were too tiring, so he decided to rest a bit longer.

With his mind cleared, the world felt wide open; Ji Ming hummed a cheerful tune, deciding to find a clean stall to rest a bit and scroll on his phone.

But as soon as he opened the first stall, he saw someone squatting on the toilet in a strange pose, and in the next second, after inexplicably pushing forward with both hands, they lost balance and toppled toward him.

Ah!

Ji Ming thought it was because he'd turned down too many requests, that a few especially eager tough guys were trying to ambush him from the bushes; he panicked and tried to pull the person out of his arms, but upon closer look realized it was an acquaintance.

"Eleanor, what the hell are you doing in the men's restroom?"

Eleanor, still shaken, blurted out a line.

"I… I locked the door."

"No, there was no resistance at all."

"But… I pulled it earlier, and it wouldn't open."

"From your angle, the door should be pushed, so of course pulling won't open it."

"But… I was definitely pressing hard against the door!"

Now Ji Ming began to doubt himself, and even turned to look at the mechanism of the partition door.

"I told you, the door needs to be pushed; what's the use of pressing on it?"

Eleanor was now speechless; after being pulled off like a rice cake and reset, she stood dazedly between the toilet and Ji Ming, motionless as if her internet had dropped, her complexion turning ashen.

Ji Ming glanced around, saw the banquet noise was still far off and the restroom remained dead quiet, so he relaxed and asked another question.

"How come? Are you annoyed by the banquet and trying to hide out until it's over?"

"Uh… ah! Yes!"

Eleanor instantly regained her composure and nodded vigorously.

"I'm not unfamiliar with such events, but being surrounded by a huge crowd chatting is exhausting! Besides, I get motion sick—my head is already foggy, and if I keep going I'll surely say too much and mess up."

"... and then you used the restroom as an excuse to sneak off, but because you were dizzy and flustered you couldn't read the sign and accidentally wound up in the men's restroom?"

Eleanor let out a gasp.

"Exactly! How did you know?!"

"Because I'm the same…"

Relieved he had casually stashed the cup, otherwise he'd be embarrassed today; Ji Ming wore an 'as expected' expression, and gave a light, carefree shake of his head and a sigh.

"It's just a little bit of deductive reasoning, nothing mysterious."

Eleanor didn't respond, just lowered her head and kicked the ground with her little leather boots; when she spoke again, it was a puzzling remark.

"Actually, I've been watching you just now."

She suddenly raised her head to look at Ji Ming, a hint of sorrow in her eyes.

"I originally wanted to help you as a social veteran, so you wouldn't feel left out or awkward, but I can see you're clearly attending your first kingdom‑style formal banquet, surrounded by strangers you've never met, yet you chat with ease, as if you were bantering with old friends of many years."

……

"Ji Ming, can you tell me how you managed that?"

"Ah… this…"

Ji Ming flashed his signature kind smile again, but inside he thought, 'You damn well want me to teach you etiquette in the toilet?'