Chapter 345: Toilet Terror

To be honest, Ji Ming has been wandering in Yangyue World for so long, done so many things, met so many people; if the grudges and emotions he'd accumulated were manifested, they'd be enough for him to go on a rampage in the field of rope arts.

Still, even after all that, few people could make him sigh in admiration.

First, one could already write an encyclopedia of abnormal ways to die; the Death God, who madly challenges human limits and bottom lines, definitely counts.

Then, Little Lion, whose life has been full of dramatic ups and downs, with countless ruthless feats, still shining in the literary and artistic world, also counts.

Next, Zhang Haohai zi ge, whom I just met yesterday, is a heavyweight with limitless prospects, a perfect‑record academician of a great nation—of course he counts too……

Besides those Bling~Bling~ hardcore tough guys, the sincere‑looking little girl before us should also be able to make the list.

Simply put, she not only has maxed‑out frustration tolerance, constantly carrying the stubborn mindset of "I must die today if I don't break the southern wall," but her desire to learn is also maxed; whenever she feels you're stronger somewhere, she'll definitely latch onto you and not let go until she finds out what she wants to know.

Therefore, according to unreliable rumors, she once tortured a wild cat that liked to scratch people, just to find out how its front paws were trained and how its attack speed could be so fast.

The result of the interrogation is unknown whether she learned anything, but the wild cat has since become an SSR‑level obedient cat, never wanting to raise its claws to scratch anyone again in its lifetime.

Even just seeing a creature with red fur makes her let out an extremely miserable scream, wishing she could take off from the ground and flee three thousand li.

Thus, the hard‑working Eleanor has some unflattering nicknames, the most famous being "Red‑Haired Knowledge Plunderer," and she also has matching jokes.

"Hey Tom, do you know why Eleanor the priest could escape the vampire's pursuit?"

"I don't know, why, Bell?"

"Because when that vampire was excitedly preparing to bite her neck, she preemptively bit him back, then sucked dry all the knowledge in his brain, turning him into a big fool who only says 'abababa'!"

That joke has other variants, like cleverly seizing a cannibal demon's brain, forcibly taking a heart‑demon's soul, and how the contemporary strongest vampire hunter Eleanor managed to wipe out a thousand‑year‑old bloodline family overnight.

The story is somewhat exaggerated, but Eleanor's near‑obsessive love of learning shows a glimpse, and as a renowned jack‑of‑all‑trades, Ji Ming naturally suffers from it as well.

"No, this is my exclusive secret formula; if it were leaked lightly it would be too dangerous, and if it were really accidentally disclosed later, we couldn't sort it out, and you wouldn't want our relationship to sour over a disaster that wasn't your fault."

"Talisman Technique is what my master taught me; only after passing severe trials and confirming one's virtue can a disciple transmit it. Even AdaiEr hasn't been taught yet, so please understand."

"Sorry, the key of Talisman Armor Technique lies not in the craftsmanship but in the blessing of the divine; without the Holy Light God, even the finest inner‑lining stitching is just ordinary cloth armor."

Nevertheless, even that couldn't stop Eleanor's determination to learn; in the realm of thick‑skinnedness, Ji Ming, who actually met his match, still actively or passively taught her something, just like today.

"Alright, alright, before we discuss this issue we need to clarify one thing: what is the essence of social interaction?"

Eleanor thought for a moment, then hesitated and said.

"More… more friends, more paths?"

"That's the surface; I'm asking about the essence."

Eleanor thought again for a moment and suddenly realized.

"Ah, I know—looking for something you can completely rely on?"

"That's the result; I'm asking about the cause."

"No, you're either playing a riddle or writing an essay—why are your hints so abstract?"

Now Eleanor couldn't figure it out; she crossed her arms over her chest, pinched her chin, and spoke in a resigned manner.

"…It couldn't be because we need it, could it?"

Who would have thought Ji Ming answered immediately.

"Exactly, of course it's because of that—what else could it be?"

After just a little guidance she arrived at the answer on her own—it seems Eleanor is still smarter than Ke Li Si Ting, needing no lengthy explanation to grasp it.

Thereupon, in the following time, Ji Ming shared with her his theory of demand‑essence drive, breaking down all emotions and relationships into different‑oriented "demands."

This gave Eleanor's worldview a huge shock, even overloading her brain a bit; she stared, eyes wide, frozen in place.

If we added a bit of manga‑style exaggeration, we should already be able to trigger a smoke‑emitting device on her head while playing the sizzle of searing steak……

"But if all these wonderful feelings can be summed up with a simple 'benefit,' isn't that a bit too cold… too ruthless?"

"First, I used the term 'demand,' which is semantically much cleaner than 'benefit.' Second, there's really nothing worth avoiding about this; since the objective fact is thus, if you lack the courage to face it head‑on, how can you talk about overcoming it?"

Eleanor didn't reply; evidently she needed more time to ponder this, so Ji Ming moved the topic to the next level.

"If we take demand as the essence of social interaction, the answer to how to better implement this behavior is obvious: discover others' genuine needs as much as possible, and make those who need you need you in return."

Afterward, Ji Ming combined his own practical experience and shared with Eleanor how to actually put this into practice.

For example, when seeing an elderly person, he'd talk about physical health; while selling them a favor, he could also highlight himself as the strongest apothecary in history, additionally possessing the divine‑doctor attribute of profound theories like human alchemy.

For example, when seeing a young person, he'd discuss career development; while talking about their prospects, he could also hint at his limitless future as a Divinely Chosen Saint, leading them to subconsciously think that befriending him could secure a steadier upward path.

Then there are those cursed, curious about Holy Light Power, wanting to know about Sunlight City…… If he really can't find anything to satisfy their needs, Ji Ming can still fall back on his charm and rhetoric, giving them a couple of tickles where they're itchy.

In short, it's about unconsciously displaying and flaunting one's unique core competitiveness; although it won't, and can't, make everyone feel one's existence is indispensable, at least it should make them feel one's existence is extraordinary.

——Ah, having Ji Ming in my circle of friends is truly great!

"So what you need to do now is replace Ji Ming with Eleanor in that sentence."

"Oh……"

Eleanor nodded thoughtfully, followed that line of thinking to review her daily interpersonal interactions, and found that the relatively successful cases were indeed because the other party first sought her out, while her simply needing them usually yielded no real progress.

That explains it; no wonder I always feel powerless and don't know where to start—it's because my approach was all wrong!

Besides, we're not kids anymore; if it weren't for profit, who would idly dole out their heart and soul to others, giving away all the good stuff……

Thinking this through, she suddenly asked.

"What's my value to you, Ji Ming?"

What else could it be? The noble circle isn't something just anyone can waltz into; even if you're filthy rich, wanting to give money to those ultra‑exclusive old fogies still requires a proper connection.

Right, my dear Ms. Lu.

……

However, Ji Ming hesitated a bit, deciding that before stating this fact he'd first spray a layer of whipped cream on top.

"Because you're the student of my teacher's friend—you didn't say that when we first met? They get along like real sisters, so we can barely count as sharing the same teacher, thus it should be natural…… WTF?"

Eleanor: "???"

Although nobles, out of politeness, usually don't use the toilet more often at gatherings, when nature calls, if you don't go when you should, you really ought to.

So after being silent for so long, Ji Ming, whose hearing had become increasingly sharp under Lao Nv Shi's training, still noticed the approaching footsteps.

He didn't think anyone would believe that the Divine Selection and the princess, having both slipped into the men's restroom mid-banquet, were there to share a friendly social experience.

Or rather, wild histories are able to be the talk of the town precisely because they are wild enough; if this were exposed, it would definitely be an earth-shattering major event, the kind that couldn't be overturned not just in this lifetime but even in the next.

Now it's too late to kick Eleanor out; he could only let out a slight sigh and decide to step forward.

"Shhh, hide well, I'll go think of a way to drive him away."

However, Ji Ming had just pulled open the partition door, preparing to block the incoming person, when he felt his vision instantly go dark, he could barely catch his breath, and hurriedly stumbled back into the stall.

"What's wrong……uh……"

He covered Eleanor's mouth with his backhand, and Ji Ming began transmitting information using the eye demon's talent via skin contact.

【Don't make a sound, it's the third son of the Jueqiao family! The one with the sturdiest build and the biggest beard】

【Don't be afraid, first calm down a bit, get mentally prepared, trust me, once you're calm I'll tell you in detail!】

Surprised, doubtful, Eleanor's expression was complex, but now the two of them are grasshoppers on the same rope, so they still tried to ease their emotions as much as possible.

【Great, thanks for your trust. Let me ask you a question first: Have you seen Mr. Wensite? That famous big grain merchant with a very amiable smile.】

Seeing Eleanor nod, Ji Ming's expression gradually grew stern.

【You stay steady, I'm really going to say it… he… he and the third son came in kissing!!!】

Fortunately, Ji Ming had already prepared himself mentally, and he quietly applied a layer of the Suggestion Technique called "Stand Firm" to her; otherwise he really couldn't have kept her upright as she was scared weak-legged, nearly slipping and falling onto Eleanor standing at attention in the toilet.

This really can't be blamed on the little girl for losing her composure; after all, even Ji Ming himself, upon seeing a sturdy, a thin, a young, and an old person entering while mutually nibbling and unbuttoning their clothes, was also frightened out of his wits, and without a word fled back.

However, even though it's embarrassing, it's no problem; they dare to do this at the banquet, so they must have first checked each toilet stall individually. All I need to do is wait for them to open the door, then preemptively activate the Suggestion Technique, delete their memories and drive them away in one smooth motion, and this mishap will be resolved smoothly.

Everything proceeded exactly as he had planned; Wensite's unusually cheerful voice rang out, saying he wanted to first do a check, otherwise if someone discovered them it would be terrible.

However, just as Ji Ming had silently turned around, preparing to launch a frontal attack to give the opponent a big surprise, he heard a violent collision, then a loud, rough voice.

"Oh, my old sweetheart, this is my home; even if someone discovered us, what could they do? Besides, I already used magic to scout ahead; trust my strength, there's no one here, don't be afraid!"

Ji Ming: Am I even human? What am I, really?

……

No, this is bad!

He also feared being discovered in the restroom, so while chatting with Eleanor, he habitually activated the eye demon's talent magic, reducing their presence to the minimum.

This is the talent magic of an eye demon alchemist of level fifty-plus, with racial talent bonuses; how could an ordinary person possibly break it?

So I never expected that my cleverness would backfire today, making the third son think the restroom was empty and just barge in like that.

Although Wensite is somewhat cautious, insisting on personally checking everything, the third son's brother couldn't wait any longer and just dragged him into a neighboring stall.

Next came a sound that Ji Ming couldn't describe, sounding somewhat like construction at a worksite, like people fighting in a changing room, and even mixed with beast roars—a terrifying din.

Then……

And then what the hell! Ji Ming hastily hoisted Eleanor and fled the men's restroom at breakneck speed.

Anyway, now that there's a magic-induced presence-reducing buff, he didn't waste it, only stopping when he found an empty reception room.

"Alright, we're safe."

But as soon as Ji Ming let go, Eleanor immediately fell stiffly onto the sofa, still crouching like a figurine without a base.

"Hey!"

Eleanor mechanically relaxed into a lying position, her gaze vacant.

"I'm fine, I just feel a little…… a little……"

A long silence ensued.

"Good heavens, I vaguely remember kicking him when I was a kid."

???

Although Ji Ming's mind was also a bit muddled, having come from modern society, what hasn't he seen? He could still barely extract a thread of thought from the chaos.

If he remembers correctly, among the descendants of the Jueqiao family, the third son should be the most favored and have the best reputation; whereas Wensite… after seeing many tragic stories from the Third World, Ji Ming has never had a good impression of multinational grain merchants, especially this kind of explosively fake smiling tiger.

Could it be…?

But just as the clue had barely been grasped, he heard Eleanor sit up again behind him, and could only turn around.

"How about it, do you need me to treat you?"

Eleanor lifted her head, her lips turned pale, and her reply was somewhat sluggish.

"Can you just give me a new brain?"