Chapter 343: Stoke City (skippable, daily transition)

Is this a sign of spring? Not the revival of all things, but Arsenal's collapse!

This seems like a matter of course.

07/08 season.

10/11 season.

13/14 season.

15/16 season.

The invincible Arsenal always inexplicably drops the chain.

Often a few losses to weaker teams cause the whole season to collapse... Fortunately, the Gunners always transform into top-four maniacs at crucial moments.

Over the past seven years.

When counting how many times the Premier League BIG6 have been slaughtered, Arsenal is deservedly first, having been bloodbathed with four or more goals by different teams eleven times... The opponents even included mid-to-lower table teams.

Most of these matches occur when spring arrives.

A famous commentator once said: 'If it's bitter, think of the Red Army Liverpool.'

Actually, Arsenal fans are even more heartbreaking.

Li Kang's days are very plain.

Apart from occasional pats, he lives a two-point-one life every day.

Since Morata and Xhaka fell in love, their gaming buddies have dwindled; Li Kang scrolls through videos and even considered opening a tutorial account like Kroos.

Kroos's tutorial series is: 'Hand-in-hand guide to becoming a ceremonial midfielder.'

My own tutorial series could be... never mind.

Of course, the hottest football coach in the videos is Guardiola; his sideline gestures have been edited into calisthenics by netizens, set to the BGM 'Era Summons.'

Foster mother Sophia came to London for a visit; this traditional Castilian lady complained for a while that the cloth shoes she made for her son didn't fit, and then returned to Barcelona the same day.

Li Kang's social media accounts are most frequently contacted by Havertz and Brandt; the Lewokusen twins really want to swing by Arsenal's training base, but they're busy with studies and can't get away.

It is said that after retiring and becoming an assistant to the sporting director, Jīsīlín often runs to La Masia's youth training camp, eagerly wanting to copy the big boss Wo Le Er's recruitment example.

On the other side.

Wenger is very busy.

The League Cup, focused on training, was abandoned early.

FA Cup, Champions League, and Premier League triple threat, and all the big and small matters inside and outside the club also leave him breathless.

For example: a senior club official privately complained that the players consume too much drinking water...

Even for such trivial matters, the Arsenal manager has to write a report to refute.

Across the Premier League, no club head coach is more exhausted than Wenger.

Days just pass like that, one after another.

Premier League match day arrives.

Li Kang and his teammates arrived at 'England JDZ' Stoke-on-Trent.

Arsenal will face Sky City-Stoke City away.

This club was founded in 1863, originally formed by a group of railway workers.

In recent years.

Besides the 6-1 bloodbath of Liverpool on the Premier League pitch, Stoke City also has a famous meme:

"Peak Barça dream three team? They would experience what is called doom on a cold rainy night at Stoke City!"

The background of this statement is: Stoke City's team average height is 1.88 meters.

What does that mean?

Among the over 160 clubs in the five major leagues, Stoke City maintained the 'tallest height' for nearly thirteen years.

Who is second?

Lewokusen!

Let's also compare the average height of peak Barça dream three.

It was last place for six consecutive years!

Until Barça's top management spent 1.5 hundred million in the summer transfer window last year, did the team's average height rise to 1.79 meters.

Now look at those few keywords!

Stoke City, cold rainy night...

This famous meme once sparked heated discussion on major sports forums.

Fans wildly speculated: how many goals would Barça score against Stoke City?

Too bad.

The two teams never had a chance to face each other.

Britannia Stadium.

A sea of people, yet empty seats.

Tens of thousands of spectators shouted fervently.

The mascot, a little hippo, extends its chubby hand to greet fans sitting in the treetops.

The stadium's terrain is low; fans who can't get tickets climb trees on the high ground outside to watch the match.

"CTV5! CTV5! Good evening, viewers."

"This is a live broadcast of the 2016/17 Premier League season."

"Stoke City hosts Arsenal!"

"Potters versus Gunners!"

"In the past seven years, Arsenal have never beaten Stoke City away!"

"Can Wenger break the away unbeaten curse tonight?"

"Let's wait and see!"

Player tunnel

During this historical period, Stoke City gradually shed the nickname "Sky City"

"Li Kang, long time no see!"

A pair of big hands pressed down on the shoulders

Li Kang turned his head and saw it was Boyang

The former La Masia prince... in his youth team days he scored over 900 goals, breaking multiple records set by Messi in his childhood, played in the Champions League at 17, was selected for the Spanish national team... simply put, it's the opening template of an overpowered protagonist from a novel

At 18, he refused to represent the national team

At 18, he won the La Liga title, the Copa del Rey, and the Champions League... a triple crown winner

And he wasn't just a bench player who only handed out water

He scored in the Copa del Rey final, and netted three goals in a crucial Champions League match...

Rumor had it that Barcelona's top brass initially wanted to make Boyang the core and sell Messi...

It's a shame Boyang lived up to nothing; after winning everything, at 19 he started to slack off, using "anxiety" as an excuse

Barcelona fans naturally wanted to see: Boyang and Messi joining hands to create a bright future for Barcelona

Too bad

In the match, this guy couldn't coexist with Messi

Barcelona's coaching staff racked their brains, but to no avail

Because whenever the two played together, fans would notice this guy would jostle for space with Messi, making Barcelona's attacking rhythm become very weird

They didn't exchange pleasantries for long

Li Kang wasn't familiar with Boyang to begin with

During La Masia youth training, to his peers Boyang was an overpowered protagonist, but to the senior players he was an "anxiety disorder patient"

Anxious to the point of "being thirsty but not daring to drink water"

The lead referee led both teams' players out of the tunnel

The broadcaster, unable to wait, aired the starting lineup

The home fans' reaction was rather bland...

It has to do with Stoke City's style and entertainment value

Over three consecutive seasons, not a single match saw possession exceed 50%

In the entire Premier League, they had the fewest shots, the fewest shots on target, the fewest successful passes, and the lowest pass completion rate

No matter if you're a Premier League Big Six or the "big mess" Aston Villa... whenever you meet Stoke City, you'll repeatedly set the club's record for shortest effective match time in history

"Now let me introduce the starting lineups for both sides."

"Stoke City lines up in a 3-4-3! It seems influenced by Conte!"

"Goalkeeper: Grant."

"Defenders: Muniesa, Indi, Johnson."

"Midfielders: Pieters, Adam, Imbula, Diouf."

"Forwards: Allen, Boyang, Shaqiri!"

"This front line lowered Stoke City's average height to the maximum! The three attackers' heights are respectively: 1.68 meters, 1.69 meters, and 1.67 meters!"

"Arsenal lines up in a 4-3-3!"

"Goalkeeper:..."

"With the referee's whistle, the match officially begins!"