Chapter 32: A Shit-Level

"If I’m not mistaken, fucking delete all these goddamn repetitive actions!"

"This half-hour movie has at most ten minutes of plot!"

"No, this movie, fucking hell, has no plot at all..."

"It’s all chaotic nonsense—it’s making my blood pressure spike!"

"This is so fucking painful to watch!"

"..."

The movie "Sun Wukong vs Superman 2" was still playing.

It had already been running for half an hour.

The seats, which were nearly full, now had nearly a third of them empty!

This movie is pure commerce—there isn’t a single drop of art...

No, it should be said that the artistic content of this movie is simply too, too high!

What kind of fans, rushing here with excitement, had ever seen such an “artistic” masterpiece?

Their fragile worldviews couldn’t withstand the shock of this “masterpiece”—they were shattered into pieces, barely holding back from kneeling on the floor, trembling and worshipping in awe!

How could these mere mortals dare to stare so directly at a god?

Time slowly passed.

The movie had now been running for nearly an hour.

More and more people in the theater were leaving, cursing under their breath.

But nearly half the audience still remained...

Whether out of regret for their money or something else, they still sat in the theater, staring fixedly at the screen...

They saw the so-called “temporal chaos” begin again!

Sun Wukong and China Superman suddenly got transported into a shop called 【Si Ling Auto Repair】.

And then what?

What did they see?

They saw the movie’s boss.

Yes, the movie’s boss suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and without reason, declared his intent to rule the world and enslave humanity!

This suddenness...

How could one possibly describe it?

Like, in the middle of a scene where some actor surnamed Xiang was chatting with the female lead, he suddenly touched his nose, slapped his own face hard, then kept touching his nose and ran off...

Or like, while driving, the driver suddenly said he needed to pee, squatted down, didn’t pee, but instead pulled down his pants and took a shit...

Yes, it was this logically incoherent...

"This is fucking like inserting a movie into an advertisement..."

"Did the audience pay money just to watch an ad?"

"..."

Sitting in the back row, the pirated DVD vendor Li Dongqiang stared in stunned disbelief at the utterly terrible props, and at the scene where Sun Wukong and China Superman Yan Shuangying charged toward the big boss!

Yesterday!

When he heard the rumored leak of the "Superman 2" source, Li Dongqiang was both shocked and incredulous!

He was shocked because this "Superman 2" hadn’t even been released yet—some domestic theaters hadn’t even received the source, how could it possibly be leaked?

He was incredulous because even if "Superman 2" was leaked, how could it possibly be playing in tiny, unknown theaters like 【Feihe Cinema】 and 【Tianniao Cinema】?

Driven by this curious curiosity, Li Dongqiang abandoned recording today’s premiere of the wuxia film "Yan Shiyi" and came here...

But who could have imagined...

This movie, which everyone had high hopes for, had done this to him!

He breathed heavily, glancing at the camera in his hand.

At this moment, he felt his entire being had been completely drained by this “masterpiece.”

At this moment, he finally understood why the staff hadn’t stopped him from bringing in the camera, and why everyone acted as if they didn’t see him filming.

They weren’t blind—they simply didn’t care!

Fuck!

How could they care?

This movie was made into such a universally hated mess—recording even one more minute was a waste of life!

Li Dongqiang even suspected that after recording this, his camera would explode!

You talk about piracy?

If this pirated version hit the market, it’d be cursed to death!

Li Dongqiang instinctively glanced at the empty seat beside him.

More than ten minutes ago, several fellow pirates sat there with cameras recording pirated copies...

Ten minutes later, these colleagues couldn’t endure the torture of this movie and fled like their pants were on fire!

Now, all around him was empty.

Just as Li Dongqiang was about to accept his bad luck and stand up to leave...

He saw a figure walking toward him with a smile!

"Hello..."

"Y-you... hello..."

He stared at the smiling, glasses-wearing figure.

"Why aren’t you recording anymore?"

"I..."

Li Dongqiang suddenly shivered: "I, I... are you...?"

"Oh, I’m the director, producer, producer, and screenwriter of 'Sun Wukong vs Superman 2'..."

When Li Dongqiang heard this, he leapt to his feet, his head ringing.

Could this man really have made such an inhuman movie?

"Brother, you’re probably into piracy, right?"

"I, I, no, no, I didn’t mean that, I didn’t mean that, I didn’t film, I really didn’t film..." Li Dongqiang’s voice trembled as he panicked at these words.

"Why are you scared? I’m not asking you for copyright fees..." Zhou Yang shook his head at his expression, then sat down beside him: "Why stop filming?"

"I... I... I..."

"What do you think of this movie?" Zhou Yang didn’t look at him—he smiled warmly at the screen, where the “epic battle” with “punches landing with flesh-cracking force” was still playing.

"This movie... it... was shot... very well... very..." At this moment, Li Dongqiang’s mind was blank, still stammering as he nodded.

"Haha, if you think it’s good, then keep recording!"

"Huh?"

"I mean, turn your camera back on and keep recording. This kind of movie will sell like crazy as pirated copies. Let’s partner up—fifty-fifty split, how about it?"

"???"

"What’s the point of making pirated DVDs all the time? If you’re going to do it, do it right—make it official. What do you say? Don’t worry—I’m authorizing you to record!"

"???"

"I’ve got many more movies coming. I’ll authorize you to sell them all. What do you think?"

"I, I, I... I’ve got something to do. Maybe I’ll go down, or maybe another day, another day..."

"If you step out, I’ll call the police. The state is cracking down hard on piracy right now. See that camera? It’s been filming you recording pirated copies the whole time. You know what’ll happen if I report you, right?"

"I..." Li Dongqiang stared at the camera in the distance, eyes wide.

That camera had been fixed on his seat since the beginning...

Like a premeditated conspiracy!

"For the next one, I’ll reserve a VIP seat just for you... Work with me, let’s get rich together. I’ve got tons more movies coming. Oh, and I can also authorize you to handle distribution—I won’t let you lose out..."

"Zhou... Zhou Zong, if I sell these pirated discs and poison people’s minds, I... I... may my son be born without an anus..."

As Li Dongqiang muttered to himself, he looked again at the big screen.

At this moment, on the big screen...

A cloud of dust rolled up.

Inside the dust, China Superman Yan Shuangying panted heavily, and in front of everyone, took a bite of an egg from 【A Li Fast Food】. He knelt on his knees, roared toward the distance like an unyielding hero, and slowly stood up...

"One epic-level fried egg from 【A Li Fast Food】 contains immense energy to save the world!"

"As China Superman, I cannot retreat!"

"I absolutely cannot retreat!"

"Behind me lies the hope of the entire Earth—so long as the flame of hope never dies, the world will never perish!"

"Cosmic Superman Ray! China Overlord Roar! Heaven and Earth Overlord Fist!"

"..."

Awkward to the extreme lines!

Directly striking the crown of the head!

It was so soul-shattering that he shuddered violently.

He closed his eyes in despair.

Fuck!

He shouldn’t have come!

“Then I’m calling the police. My movie may be highly artistic, but it’s still Zhengban —sure, I won’t get much compensation, but even a mosquito’s worth of meat counts… Besides, I don’t believe you have no criminal record…”

“I…”

“Will you cooperate or not?”

“Cooperate, cooperate—I’ll record, I’ll record!” Li Dongqiang, seeing Zhou Yang’s smiling expression, immediately nodded, picked up the camera, and started recording!

Fuck!

What the hell!

In his whole life, he’d never met a director who forced a pirate-recorder to record his own movie…

………….

Recording, recording!

He suddenly felt something was off!

Although the adults were all cursing, the children brought here seemed to…

Wait!

These children, aged seven or eight, seemed to be watching with great excitement?