Chapter 373: The Matter of the Soul (3)

Guan Xinyue's eyes turned red, but she held back her shame. "Think whatever you want, but as... as your friend—if you don't consider me a friend, we have at least been through life and death together—there is something I want to tell you."

Luo Qi looked at her.

"I didn't tell Du Ge because I hoped to leave this opportunity to you yourself," Guan Xinyue said.

"What?" Luo Qi gazed at her, the expression on his face still a half-smile, though in truth he was somewhat confused. Even if a person's mind could be opened to you, it was still very difficult to truly understand that person's heart; from time to time, you still needed this person to explain it to you. This was a problem that could not be solved by relying solely on actively observing their Yajian.

He commanded Guan Xinyue haughtily, "Explain."

Shame, anger, and frustration surged into the young girl's heart all at once. The corridor was suffocatingly dim, and the auspicious patterns depicted on the walls were filled with countless skulls; everything hinted at bad omens. Guan Xinyue tightened her face to steady herself. She had walked out of the ruins she once called home, which were now haunted, and she believed she could still handle all that the future held; she had long since prepared for the worst regarding everything.

"Doctor Ma told me before," she began to say.

"Oh," Luo Qi mused, as if searching for something from the bottom of a box, "he has been monitoring me."

"There's no need to put it so harshly; he has always cared about you. You know in your heart that he is not a bad person!" Guan Xinyue could not help but say indignantly. Her words had no effect; she saw an indifferent coldness on Luo Qi's face. "Fine, I know there is no point in saying these things now."

"What did Ma Jiang say about me?" Luo Qi asked sharply. "You don't need to make such a long preamble, do you? I've always thought art students were slow-witted; it seems that is indeed the case."

"Luo Qi, you're schizophrenic!" Guan Xinyue shouted, unable to bear it any longer.

Luo Qi fell silent, looking at Guan Xinyue with a strange expression in his eyes.

"Doctor Ma said before that you weren't ready. You were thrown into the deep end before you were ready to be a Mind Mage. He said you hadn't received professional training, hadn't undergone extensive practice, and your foundation wasn't laid; you didn't know how to protect your own Yajian at all. In such an unstable situation, the more Yajian you consume, the more dangerous it becomes. You will get lost in the myriad manifestations of Yajian, and one day you won't be able to distinguish which one is your true Yajian. Or, to put it in a way that sounds alarmist, the most likely scenario is that you won't know where the boundaries of your Yajian lie, or what the clear outline of your own soul really is. Even if you were originally a great river, you are rushing toward the endless ocean, and sooner or later you will merge into one with these Yajian. Invisibly, you are reshaping yourself beyond recognition; your Yajian randomly grabs information from various strands of Yajian, retains the most prominent parts that influence you the most, fills them into your Yajian, and conducts a random, massive transformation of your own soul. I think this has already happened; you have no idea that you have changed!" Guan Xinyue finished saying this in one breath and stopped to gasp for air. On the walls, countless ghosts and gods peered down at her from the shadows of the lights. She glared at those ghosts and gods, returning the anger of humanity.

"So that's how it is," Luo Qi said. "So that's what you think."

"I don't want to argue with you. A drunk person won't admit they are drunk; my grandfather is like that. I've seen enough drunks." Guan Xinyue was suddenly somewhat exhausted, on the verge of tears.

Luo Qi walked a few steps closer to her and leaned in toward her.

She thought this was the signal that their argument was over. She was surprised to find herself already missing the warm Luo Qi; she liked that warm, cozy feeling when Luo Qi leaned in close, and she even liked the scent on him. He wasn't smelly like those annoying boys; he had a crisp scent, like dry wood, which also reminded her of the small living room where coffee beans had been ground an hour ago. No matter how fiercely they argued, they would always make up. Luo Qi was essentially someone who wouldn't hold a grudge against anyone; he was too quick to forgive others.

Luo Qi did not hug her; he only leaned close to her. They were almost touching, but they left a carefully designed gap between them. Luo Qi's head leaned toward her, his lips right by her ear, and he whispered to her, "You're wrong, silly girl."

Guan Xinyue's relaxed heart tightened abruptly. Luo Qi never used gender differences to pressure her. Her heart pounded wildly, and her hair almost stood on end. A kind of fear flowed through her body, a fear that seemed to come from the primitive reactions recorded in her genetic fragments. The fear had already surpassed the ordinary harm a stupid boy could bring her.

"I know clearly who I am," Luo Qi said in her ear.

"Luo Qi, you..." Guan Xinyue trembled as she began to speak, but was stopped by Luo Qi.

Luo Qi laughed lowly in her ear, "You're wrong, girl. It's not that Luo Qi has changed. I am not Luo Qi."

"Are you crazy?" Guan Xinyue asked him in a low voice; she was still relatively calm.

"Luo Qi no longer exists," he said in a low voice, his tone deep and steady, as if telling her a distant fact.

Guan Xinyue should have recoiled at this absurd statement, but two lines of tears rolled down her cheeks, and she realized she already knew this was the truth. Her heart knew this before her mind did. Her anger vanished; she only felt sorrow.

"Are you sad?" he asked her. "Do you know that he... was never as simple as he appeared on the surface?"

Guan Xinyue could not speak; tears choked her throat.

"You want to find your sister, right?" he asked.

"If you want... if you want me to help you... help you hide, help you... then you underestimate me. I won't help you with anything, nothing..." She could not go on and raised her hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks. She wasn't truly afraid; her past life had already made her very resilient, but she was truly very sad.

"No, no, no, I don't need to go to such trouble. I can use the abilities of this body to control your Yajian," he said.

"You can't!" Guan Xinyue said. "Ma Jiang shares a pair of Entanglement with me; he will notice if I'm not right."

"You? You are not a Mage at all," he said in surprise.

"Ma Jiang said that I am almost a Mage; I am closer to a Mage than the average human," she said.

He was still for a moment, as if probing something. Guan Xinyue widened her eyes in vigilance, but she felt nothing. He continued speaking again, "You didn't lie. Your genes are indeed... close to a Mage, but still far off."

"I am satisfied with myself," Guan Xinyue said. "Do you know where my sister is?"

"To be precise, it is Luo Qi who knows where your sister is," he said.

Guan Xinyue turned her head and looked at him in confusion.

Using Luo Qi's face, he made a smile that belonged entirely to someone else; it looked just like Luo Qi faking a smile. "And he didn't tell anyone, not even Du Zhengyi. Surprised? I've discovered that Luo Qi has many, many little secrets."