Chapter 279: Victor, I shit the bed

Is this appropriate?

But he really couldn't say that to Bai Bufan. Fortunately, for this guy, Lin Li happened to have a universal answer: "Abstinence."

Bai Bufan: "?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Who the fuck told you that abstinence can achieve this effect?"

"Abstinence is just like this; you haven't practiced abstinence, so you don't understand." Lin Li sneered, "Don't refute it if you haven't practiced it."

"..." *Here we go again, * Bai Bufan's face flushed red, "How can you slander someone's innocence out of thin air..."

"As for why I drink so much, it's because there's a urine test later." Ignoring the Bai-Yiji, Lin Li said again.

The straw was already making a sound of sucking air. After sucking up the last bit, Lin Li raised his hand and threw it.

The bottle followed a perfect parabola and landed precisely on Bai Bufan's head next to him.

"Nice! Aim successful!" Lin Li clenched his fist and raised his arm, praising himself.

"You wouldn't even pretend to say you missed!"

After picking up the bottle from the ground and throwing it into the trash can, Bai Bufan touched his chin, showing some entanglement and hesitation, and opened his mouth: "Lin Li, does this mean we still have to do a urine test later?"

"Hmm, what's wrong?"

"What if I can't swallow it?"

"..."

After a brief silence, Lin Li sneered lightly, his voice filled with pride:

"Do you think I drink so much milk just to pee? Wouldn't drinking water be faster? The reason it's milk is, as everyone knows, the components in milk can form a protective film to protect our gastric mucosa. With this preparation, I guarantee I'll swallow it easily later!"

"As for you, take care of yourself!"

"What!? You guy has already thought to the third level? What a terrible opponent!" Bai Bufan's tone was exaggerated and very shocked, but soon, blood and passion flashed in his eyes:

"But, I won't admit defeat! Lin Li, just wait, I will definitely surpass you and swallow more urine!"

"I look forward to that day." Lin Li showed appreciation and nodded.

The passionate dialogue of the youth king ended, and the two left the lounge to continue the check-up.

Because they spent a lot of time at the ultrasound side, when they came out of the lounge, they found that there weren't many people left doing check-ups on the first floor, but the breakfast area on the second floor was starting to queue up.

"That's good, so you don't have to queue, and we can finish faster."

"Lin Li, do you want to do this internal medicine check-up first? Then I'll go to the surgical check-up opposite?" Bai Bufan nodded upon hearing this, and seeing Lin Li walking toward the internal medicine department, he pointed to the opposite side and said, "Let's finish early and go back to school."

"Either is fine." Lin Li nodded indifferently.

The two separated. Lin Li knocked on the door and entered the internal medicine clinic.

The doctor sitting in front of the computer with a stethoscope hanging around his neck raised his head to look at Lin Li and showed a professional smile: "Hello, give me the examination form, then sit here and take off your coat."

"Okay, Dr. Cai."

Dr. Cai paused, raised his eyes, and looked at Lin Li with a smile: "Hello, Mr. Lin, my surname is Xu, my name is Kun."

Lin Li: "..."

*Can this happen twice? *

Wait.

Lin Li suddenly understood why Dr. Pan on the second floor would specifically ask him if he had done the internal medicine check-up.

She wanted to see this scene.

Cijian facility could actually collect two such 'crouching tiger, hidden dragon' doctors, Dr. Pan and Dr. Cai, which really couldn't be underestimated.

"Sorry, Dr. Xu." Lin Li apologized with extreme proficiency.

"It's fine, time to start auscultation." Xu Kun waved his hand; it wasn't his first time experiencing this.

His name didn't have any points worth criticizing until that high-pitched chicken crow six or seven years ago, which changed his life.

Remember, it takes 16.5 years to finish the twelve zodiac signs.

Because the Year of the Rooster takes two and a half years, and the Rabbit and Dragon are the same, they also take two and a half years.

"You don't have anything hanging around your neck that makes noise, right? It will affect the examination results." Seeing Lin Li take off his coat, Xu Kun carefully observed Lin Li's neck and asked.

"No." Lin Li looked at Xu Kun with surprise upon hearing this.

*Where would I have such a thing? *

Sensing this look, Xu Kun explained:

"I had a patient before who believed in Buddhism and had a Buddhist pendant hanging around his neck inside his clothes that played scriptures on a 24-hour loop. The sound was very small; if you didn't pay attention, you couldn't hear it at all.

That time I put the stethoscope on, I heard ethereal and mysterious Buddhist sounds. It just so happened I was very tired that day, having pulled an all-nighter, and I almost thought I was about to die and that the Buddha had come to pick me up.

So ever since that time, I've made it a habit to ask."

Lin Li: "..."

*That was indeed very creepy. *

After listening for a while, Xu Kun crossed out a few things on the examination form, or maybe wrote characters that Lin Li couldn't recognize at all, and then started to touch Lin Li's abdomen with his hands.

"What do you feel?" Xu Kun asked.

"I feel like someone is touching my stomach." Lin Li closed his eyes and felt it, answering seriously.

Xu Kun: "..."

"No, I mean, I'm asking if you feel any pain when touched like this."

"No."

"Okay," after the abdominal palpation ended, Xu Kun recorded it on the examination form, "Everything is fine. Alright, go to the next department."

Lin Li walked out of the clinic, and Bai Bufan also happened to walk out of the surgical clinic, but now Bai Bufan's eyes were a bit unfocused.

"Bufan? Bufan? Bai Bufan!"

After being called a few times, the somewhat soul-lost Bai Bufan finally came back to his senses, staggered to the bench, and beckoned Lin Li to come over.

"What's wrong with you?" Lin Li walked over and sat down, asking in confusion.

"Lin Li, let me ask you a question, does 'virgin' refer to the front or the back?" Bai Bufan asked confusedly.

Lin Li: "(; o_o)?"

"If, I'm saying if, I have a friend whose front hasn't been used, but his back has been used, does he still count as a virgin?" Bai Bufan's voice was ethereal as he followed up.

Lin Li: "?"

"No, buddy, why are you suddenly asking this? What did you do in there?" Lin Li asked in surprise.

"I already said the front hasn't been used, what else could I do? I was the one who got fucked!" Bai Bufan answered sadly.

"No, what exactly happened? Can you speak like a human?" Lin Li just found it funny.

Cijian was at least one of the top check-up facilities in Xiling; it shouldn't have reached the point of such things happening.

Bai Bufan opened his examination form and showed it to Lin Li, and the direction his finger was pointing—"Anus: Normal, no hemorrhoids."

Lin Li's expression began to twist.

*Holding it in. *

Then Bai Bufan suddenly grabbed Lin Li's collar and roared loudly: "Lin Li! You didn't tell me that the check-up also included a digital rectal exam! Lin Li, do you know that when the doctor told me to take off my pants and bend over, I was fucking stunned!"

After a brief silence, Lin Li really couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed wantonly.

"You're still laughing!"

"So what did it feel like?" Lin Li stopped laughing and asked.

"Hehe, you'll know when you try it yourself in a while." Bai Bufan sneered, his eyes filled with the expectation of being able to get revenge.

"I'm not doing it." Lin Li shook his head.

"Eh? What do you mean you're not doing it?" Bai Bufan was stunned for a moment.

"I'm just not doing this check-up." Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan in surprise, not knowing why he asked such a question.

"Wait," Bai Bufan's eyes widened suddenly, "This can be refused!?"

"Otherwise? We are consumers who pay money, we are God. Have you ever seen a God whose autonomy over their own asshole isn't in their own hands?

Does the priest have no choice but to be bent over in front of God? Do you think you're a little boy?

Can't you just tell the doctor directly that you don't wish to undergo this check-up?"

Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan with a confused expression.

"..."

"..."

"Fuck!"

"Then... I lost my virginity for nothing..." Bai Bufan, who had come to his senses, had gray eyes and a desolate smile.

Lin Li sighed, patted Bai Bufan on the shoulder: "I'll go check out the crime scene where your first time was taken. You should hurry up and go to the opposite side to check internal medicine; I feel like you must have suffered quite serious internal injuries, it's quite necessary to check."

Bai Bufan: "..."

*Your mom. *

Lin Li protected his asshole. After the surgeon heard that Lin Li didn't want to do this check-up, he didn't have any intention of persuading him and directly drew a circle in that column on the examination form.

For him, it was also a good thing.

Except for a very small number of doctors with abnormal fetishes, no doctor would like this check-up.

*They say Bufan looks down on people, but is the asshole any better? *

*This thing depends on who it is. *

And the subsequent five-sense check-up and urine routine didn't have any more twists and turns. The large amount of milk they drank for breakfast made the two of them like fish in water.

All check-ups were finished, and it was exactly ten o'clock.

Handing the examination form to the front desk and taking the souvenir that came with the package, the two returned to the first floor and took a taxi back to school.

"Fuck, I'm really going to fall asleep. Now, even if you gave me the lap pillow of a 1.7-meter-tall, long-haired, black-straight little Lei girl, I could fall asleep immediately."

Getting into the car with Lin Li, Bai Bufan yawned repeatedly, leaned against Lin Li's shoulder, and touched Lin Li's thigh as he murmured.

"Making wishes here, and take your b-hand away." Lin Li scolded with a smile and pushed Bai Bufan away.

"Driver, can we drive faster? I'm in a bit of a hurry to go back," Bai Bufan said to the driver after being pushed away.

"Driving safety is the first priority, don't worry, I'll be as fast as possible." The driver smiled at the rearview mirror upon hearing this.

Bai Bufan had to nod when he heard this.

The car's speed didn't really get much faster.

Bai Bufan didn't care, yawned again, closed his eyes, and planned to just take a nap in the car.

Lin Li: "Driver, I'm about to shit in the car. Let me ask, is it a two-hundred-yuan fine if I do? How can I transfer it to you later?"

Driver, Bai Bufan: "?"

"Oi! Young man! Don't, don't, don't! Hold it, hold it! Nansang Middle School, right! Give me seven minutes! Just seven minutes! I'll get you there immediately! Don't shit in my car! This isn't a matter of two hundred yuan!"

The originally lazy driver's eyes widened like copper bells instantly, his body even sat up straight instead of leaning against the backrest, focusing on the front.

*All systems start, start, start, and also—this! *

*Dead car, hurry up and accelerate! You don't want to become a shit-car either! *

Feeling the speeding taxi, Bai Bufan grabbed the top handle to keep himself from flying up, his sleepiness dissipated a little, and he looked at Lin Li.

Lin Li turned to the side, his smile filled with pride: "This is emotional intelligence, have you learned it?"

Low emotional intelligence: Driver, can you drive faster? I'm in a hurry.

High emotional intelligence: Driver, I'm about to shit in the car.

Bai Bufan realized: "Master, I've realized it."

*A shit-gun is also a gun, and it can also be used to threaten people. *

"You are teachable."

Shortening the time by a full third, the taxi arrived at Nansang Middle School. Seeing Lin Li and Bai Bufan get out of the car, the driver let out a long sigh of relief.

"You go back to sleep, I'm going home too." Lin Li walked toward his bicycle and said to Bai Bufan.

"Ok, contact me tonight if anything happens. I don't know if I'll be able to wake up this afternoon." Bai Bufan nodded.

Riding his bike home, Lin Li wasn't sleepy at all. He took out his phone to check the appointment situation for the radiology clinic at Nansang County Hospital. Seeing that there were still free time slots in the afternoon, he made an online appointment based on the examination form he had opened earlier.

—Because the previous one was for the brain, and this area didn't require fasting or abstaining from water.

The appointment was successful. In the time before departure, Lin Li continued to focus on opening up the space of the "Qiankun Ring" and strengthening the refining of the "Formless Sword".

As for the "Duck Blood Bottle" and the "Substitute Jade Buddha", Lin Li was fickle and sent them to the cold palace first.

After the time was about right, in the afternoon, Lin Li took a taxi to the county hospital.

After taking his number at the self-service machine, Lin Li headed to the floor where the MRI machine was located.

He had reserved buffer time, so although he walked leisurely, it was still more than ten minutes before his turn. Therefore, Lin Li sat on the waiting chair at the door and played on his phone while waiting.

"Young man, what's the illness?"

Lin Li turned his head upon hearing this. It was a patient sitting next to him wearing a patient gown, who looked to be fifty or nearly sixty, looking at him with a smile.

Old people generally don't know how to play with electronic devices and prefer to use chatting to pass the time.

But is he seeing a doctor alone at such an old age? His family is a bit unfilial.

"Grandpa, I'm not sick, I'm just here for a check-up." Lin Li said politely.

"Oh, oh." The old man nodded and didn't speak again, and Lin Li continued to scroll through his phone.

"I'm a bit thirsty, young man, do you want to drink water?" After being quiet for a few minutes, the old man looked at Lin Li again and asked.

"Grandpa, where is the water dispenser? Shall I get you a cup?" Lin Li thought the old man was hinting at him, so he stood up and said.

"No need, no need, Grandpa is asking if you want to drink?" The old man shook his head hurriedly.

"I'm not thirsty, thank you, Grandpa." Lin Li waved his hand.

"Why so polite," the old man nodded, then stood up, raised a hand toward a nurse not far away in the hallway, and shouted loudly: "Victor! Bring me a bottle of glucose with ice, and bring this young man a bottle of normal saline, put it on my tab!

By the way, young man, do you want ice in your saline?"

Lin Li: "?"

"Cough! Cough!"

Lin Li almost coughed so hard he couldn't hold his phone.

Lin Li looked at the old man foolishly, while the old man waved his hand and emphasized again: "My treat, speak up, do you want ice?"

"No, no need, right?" Lin Li answered somewhat mechanically.

And the nurse who was called, upon hearing this, also trotted over, bowed and nodded to the old man with a smile: "Okay, okay, I'll prepare it for you right away."

"My glucose with ice, his saline without ice, remember that!" The old man instructed.

"Hmm, hmm, remembered." The nurse nodded and left.

Lin Li: "?"

*Is she really giving it to him? *

Lin Li now fully understood that saying.

A nurse without blue stripes on their hat is a nurse; one with a blue stripe is a head nurse who can scold nurses; two blue stripes is a department head nurse who can scold head nurses; three blue stripes is the director of the nursing department who can scold department head nurses; and someone like the one next to him who is covered in blue stripes can scold whoever they want.

*Can he really give such an order? And the nurse really agreed? *

However, soon, although the nurse returned, she didn't bring the glucose with ice and the saline, but brought a middle-aged man.

"Sorry, sorry, my dad's brain was injured, I went to the bathroom, it didn't affect you, did it, young man?" The middle-aged man came up and immediately asked Lin Li with concern.

"It's fine, it's fine." Lin Li waved his hand, a look of realization appearing on his face.

"Lin Li. Lin Li. Is he here?" The door of this clinic opened, and the doctor came out, looked around, and called Lin Li's name.

It was his turn.

"Here, here."

"Take everything out of your pockets and put them in this basket. If you're scanning your brain, does your clothing have any metal? If so, you need to change into a patient gown." Seeing Lin Li come up, the doctor asked routinely.

"No, I confirmed it before I came." Lin Li answered while walking up to put his things away.

At this time, the patient who had just had an MRI walked out of the control room and passed by Lin Li.

Lin Li turned his head to look at the other person's departing back, frowned, and murmured: "This guy is very seriously ill."

"Young man, do you know how to diagnose?" The doctor, who was using a metal detector to confirm the situation of Lin Li's clothes, asked curiously upon hearing this.

"It's too obvious, his limbs are already black, I feel like he needs an amputation." Lin Li frowned and said with regret.

Doctor: "..."

The doctor raised his eyes, glanced at the foreign black patient who had left, and fell into silence.

*No wonder this kid is here for an MRI of the brain, reasonable. *

"Young man, he's a black person." The doctor said.

"I know." Lin Li nodded.

"Then why amputate?"

"Hmm."

Doctor: "?"

*Eh? *

*Wait. *

*So you don't care if he's sick or not, you just purely want to amputate him?! *

"Alright, lie down, listen to our instructions, about twenty minutes." The doctor said irritably.

"Okay."

The MRI machine was worthy of being a million or even ten-million-level medical device; it looked a bit more advanced than CT and ultrasound. Lin Li lay down, took off all his titles to prevent affecting the results, and then started the MRI.

He didn't feel anything, just staying in a confined space for half an hour.

【Searching for and personally experiencing at least a hundred high-level detection arrays, and there must be more than four types (100/100; 4/4).】

【Task four completed】

【You have received rewards: Constitution improvement: Array talent increased by 50%, spiritual sense perception range increased by 100%; Random complete array *1; Random array materials *5; System currency *100】

【You have received "Spirit Gathering Heavenly Array" *1; "Star Array Disk" *1; "High-grade Array Core" *1; "Low-grade Spirit Stone" *1; "Vermilion Spirit Sand" *2】

When Lin Li retreated from the machine, a small string of notifications appeared before his eyes.

The things given were quite fancy, but the occasion wasn't suitable for checking them out, so he had to wait until he got home.

Therefore, Lin Li headed to the control room.

The doctor operating the machine was looking at the control room's machine screen with a serious face, sighing in a low voice: "The brain has a problem..."

Lin Li: "?"

The voice was very low, but Lin Li's six senses were much sharper than ordinary people's, so he heard it very clearly.

Lin Li's originally open mouth closed, he swallowed a mouthful of saliva subconsciously, and his pupils tightened.

The morning check-up didn't find anything wrong, but now the MRI had a problem?

Did he have a brain disease?

*Fuck, could it be that I actually have some hidden terminal illness, and I should have died two months ago and gone to the immortal cultivation world, but it was just delayed? *

*Having a terminal illness also seems to make me more qualified to get the system. *

*But don't do this! *

*Lin Li doesn't want to leave the modern world! *

*No, no, no, there's still a cure, money isn't a problem, there are still tens of millions in the apocalypse that can be taken, I can still cultivate... *

The more he thought about it, the more chaotic his brain became. Lin Li swallowed another mouthful of saliva, his voice already a bit nervous: "Doctor, may I ask... where is the problem?"

The doctor turned to look at Lin Li, his eyes slightly confused: "What problem?"

"Eh? Didn't you just say my brain has a problem?" Lin Li was stunned.

"Oh, oh, no, your results won't be out for half a day. What I just said was that our dean has a problem. The lights are so dim, I've reported it twice, and he still won't let anyone come to fix it. This makes my eyes hurt so much."

The doctor pointed to the light above his head and said angrily:

"Using a light worth a few dozen yuan to illuminate a machine worth millions, don't you think he has a problem with his brain?"

Lin Li: "(; o_o)?"

*You motherfucker. *

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 280 =====