Chapter 284: From now on, Bai Bufan is no longer Bai Bufan

"Lin Li, are you sick! Do you want to die!" Ding Sihan held the cake in her hands, aiming at Lin Li's face, her tone unkind.

"It's over, Uncle, it's a murderer who broke in... I leave all my inheritance to my mom, goodbye forever." Lin Li's voice was sorrowful.

Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "?"

Seeing that the cake was really about to fly into his face, Lin Li smiled and put away the phone that hadn't actually dialed, stopped his steps, looked up at the door, and raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture:

"Don't throw, don't throw, don't throw, just a joke, I didn't actually call."

Seeing that this guy was acting, and had acted twice, Chen Yuying tapped Lin Li with the party popper in her hand.

Lin Li made a "bleh" face.

"Alright, come in first, standing outside isn't the way, don't be polite, treat it like your own home."

Ding Sihan then lowered the cake she had been aiming slightly, then turned and walked toward the living room, while turning back to signal Lin Li to follow.

Lin Li: "..."

No?

What did you just say?

What do you mean treat it like my own home.

"Then excuse me for disturbing," the guest Lin Li walked in restrainedly. Because of timidity, he stood on the mat feeling at a loss, and finally asked Ding Sihan in a low voice:

"Classmate Ding, can I leave my shoes here at your place?"

"You can, but remember not to put them outside the mat area; I'll be angry if you dirty the tiles." Qu Wanqiu nodded on her behalf. "And these slippers, you can wear them if you want, but you aren't allowed to take off your socks."

"Damn!"

"You two really treat it like your own home, don't you! Which gutter-born bastard turned you into this? You were still human-looking when I first met you."

Lin Li laughed and scolded.

It's also the cycle of heaven; who does heaven spare?

So in Baowei's eyes, I was actually such a bastard at the sports meet? Sorry Baowei, I won't let you into the dorm next time, I'll let you not see it and not be bothered.

Lin Li changed into his slippers. Before asking about the cause and effect, he looked around curiously, searching for Bai Bufan's figure.

He didn't find him.

"Where's Bufan? Didn't he come?" Lin Li asked.

"Oh, he was going to come, but he couldn't because he had an upset stomach, what a pity." Qu Wanqiu replied regretfully. "He clearly put in the effort too, sigh."

Lin Li, who was just about to nod, froze.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

If he remembered correctly, his bedroom door was completely open when he left in the morning, but now it was ajar, leaving only a crack.

It was quite hard for him to misremember now.

And, based on the situation of giving him a surprise, Bai Bufan's behavior of insisting on going back to the dorm to use the bathroom not long ago didn't hold up.

"Class monitor, did he really not come?" Lin Li pointed to his bedroom door and asked Chen Yuying, his voice lowered: "... Isn't he in there?"

"Um, he didn't come."

Being stared at directly by Lin Li, Chen Yuying nodded in response, but her eyes gradually shifted away.

Her lying skills were too terrible; Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu, who were already sitting on the sofa, covered their faces helplessly.

How will they be able to sneak out to do things in the future if they get caught by Chen Zhongdeng?

"Is that so! Forget it! If he didn't come, he didn't come! Wait a moment, my phone is out of battery, I'll go to the room to get the charger first."

Getting the answer, Lin Li said loudly to the three of them, then walked toward his room.

He didn't intend to harm Bai Bufan; at such a moment, even if it was fake, he had to be "surprised" again.

Lin Li pushed open the bedroom door.

"Bastard, happy birth—ah!!!"

Bai Bufan's blessing wasn't finished before it turned into a painful scream.

But the murderer wasn't Lin Li.

Not only wasn't it Lin Li, Lin Li's smile was already completely twisted, gradually unable to support him standing, so he gradually sprawled on the floor and slapped the sofa next to him wildly, laughing until he convulsed.

"You, you, you—"

Lin Li pointed inside the bedroom door, laughing so hard he couldn't say a second word.

And Chen Yuying and the other three, who were confused, saw this scene and walked over, discovering that inside the room, Bai Bufan was also lying on the floor full of ribbons, seemingly convulsing too, but he seemed to be convulsing in pain.

Not my bro?

"What happened?" Ding Sihan, who only heard the sound, said the three of them's inner thoughts in confusion.

"He, he, hahaha, he—"

Lin Li really laughed until tears came out, describing the scene just now to the three of them with extreme difficulty:

"Doesn't he also have a party popper in his hand? This idiot, this idiot, damn it, this idiot held it backward! Just now, while he was saying happy birthday, he turned the party popper, and it all sprayed ha—"

Because it was mixed with a lot of laughter, Lin Li's description was stumbling, and he didn't finish it in the end.

But the three of them already understood.

Especially Chen Yuying, who had also used a party popper just now.

As everyone knows, when using a party popper, it should be tilted at forty-five degrees toward the sky, but if it's used backward—

Everyone, Bai Bufan is currently clutching his crotch.

The sequins on the floor are quite pitiful because they were sexually harassed by Bai Bufan as soon as they were born.

Bai Bufan, rapist, bad!

No, can't call him Bai Bufan anymore.

Bai Buji, rapist, bad.

Therefore, when the three of them understood all this, they all collapsed on the sofa, and pleasant laughter filled the room.

"You guys who have no empathy..."

The joys and sorrows of people are not connected; Bai Bufan groaned in pain, and listening to the harsh laughter made him even more painful.

The "three people" didn't have this thing to begin with, so they couldn't understand his point; Bai Bufan could understand that.

But damn it, Lin Li, what about you?

I was still celebrating your birthday!

It's a work-related injury!

"Bai Buji, are you okay?" Lin Li couldn't stand being looked at with that gaze, so he asked while suppressing his laughter.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Your grandpa's Bai Buji, who the hell told you to take away my point!! It's still there! It's still there!!" Bai Bufan was stunned when he heard his new name, and roared after reacting.

The laughter that was about to subside immediately returned to its peak.

"Lin Li, is it funny! Look in my eyes! Answer me! Is it funny!" The "three people" couldn't be managed, but this "one" was really damn annoying, Bai Bufan asked with difficulty but anger.

"It's not funny, I only saw a desperate girl." Lin Li immediately stopped smiling when he was scolded, and said heavily and sadly.

"Damn!!"

However, the air pressure of the party popper wasn't very high; although it was a bit of a disaster, it wasn't enough to destroy the goods.

After Bai Bufan recovered for a while, he sat on the floor, shook his head, and sighed sadly: "Although there's no Buji, it feels like one broke."

"It's okay, baby, then you just become a fragrant and soft little single-testicle." Lin Li comforted him.

Bai Bufan: "(；o_o)?"

"Then, I, thank, you, a lot." Bai Bufan thanked him through gritted teeth.

Lin Li shook his head imperceptibly; actually, he thanked him too early.

Because although he could be praised as a little single-testicle, losing one egg also meant losing a lot of artistic cells.

After all, the more eggs a man has, the more he understands art, because it's multiplication.

And the reason why Xier didn't get into art school is precisely because Xier only has one egg.

From this, it can be deduced that Bai Bufan might trigger World War III.

So... Lin Li having the thought of killing Bai Bufan now to avoid World War III is also understandable, right?

"Why the hell is your gaze even more ferocious than mine?" Bai Bufan was stunned.

"Oh, oh, sorry, I got into character. Alright, come out first." Looking at Bai Bufan's face, Lin Li wanted to laugh again.

After recovering for a while, Bai Bufan stood up and walked out.

"It's fine."

Turning back to see Lin Li's gaze still looking inside the room, he probably guessed Lin Li's thoughts, so Bai Bufan patted Lin Li's shoulder:

"Don't worry, the three of them insisted on some privacy rights and refused to enter your room; only I went in.

So, the three inflatable dolls, ten masturbators, seventeen bottles of lubricant, and thirty-nine porn magazines under your bed were only seen by me; they didn't see any of them, don't worry."

The three figures on the sofa behind them looked over upon hearing this.

Lin Li: "..."

Damn it, another boomerang.

This kid Bai Bufan is really vengeful.

However, there was nothing shameful in Lin Li's room.

Because considering that Wu Min might come home at any time, Lin Li usually dealt with system-related things.

Including the protective gear from the apocalypse, he would wash it all once.

Otherwise, he would have panicked the first time he opened the door and saw them appearing at home; he couldn't have been this relaxed.

"Spirit Spring," "Spirit Stones," and apocalypse firearms, these would all be locked in the cabinet.

The gold under the bed was also in a box; the only thing that hadn't been hidden was the super-large gold he brought back early this morning, which was too big to fit in the drawer or under the bed, so he could only put it directly on the table.

He originally planned to buy tools to cut it himself and store it separately, but he didn't have time to deal with it.

Since Bai Bufan had been in his room, he should have seen it, but he didn't show any strange reaction now.

After all, who would think that this lump of yellow stone left casually was really gold.

"If there are no inflatable dolls under my bed, you'll stay and be my inflatable doll tonight, Bai Bufan." Lin Li put his arm around Bai Bufan's shoulder, preparing to prove himself.

"Haha, forget it."

So the five of them sat in the living room, the candle flame on the cake on the coffee table flickering constantly.

Lin Li sat cross-legged on the sofa, looked at the "three people" on the side sofa and the "dog" beside him, and asked curiously: "Tell me, what's going on here?"

"A surprise." Chen Yuying's eyes were moving.

"It's indeed a big surprise. Don't look at my performance as not obvious; I'm actually very happy right now." Lin Li nodded with a smile. "Moved."

"How happy?" Chen Yuying asked with some pride and anticipation in her voice.

Lin Li thought for a while, then smiled and said:

"Like the first sip of iced cola in summer;"

"Like a doctor performing heart surgery;"

"Like the last day of summer vacation, after staying up all night to finish all the homework and preparing to sleep, I checked the notice sent by the head teacher and found I had misread it, and there was still a whole week left of summer vacation."

"Probably, that's how happy I am."

Although strange things were mixed in, everyone got a concrete sense of happiness from Lin Li's description.

"So how did you do it? The key to my door... did my mom give it to you?" Lin Li's curiosity hadn't been answered yet.

Lin Li's old residential complex had no property management, and keys were kept by himself.

And there were three keys Lin Li took out of the house: one was always on his person, one was always at school, and one was under a stone in the corner of the water and electricity meter box at the entrance.

But he hadn't even told Wu Min about these, so the four of them shouldn't have gotten in that way.

Then it must have been the key Wu Min gave them.

"Yeah, Auntie sent it to us before." Chen Yuying took a key out of her school pants pocket, shook it triumphantly in front of Lin Li, and then placed it on the table: "Remember to return it to Auntie."

"So it turns out there was a mole in our house; no wonder you guys snuck in. Damn, it's hard to guard against house thieves." Lin Li sighed.

He understood why Wu Min insisted that he do a big cleaning at home during their daily weekend call yesterday.

The reason at the time was that it was time for the cleaning cycle, but she couldn't come back, so she asked him to clean.

She even emphasized it early this morning.

Now it seems, it was obviously to avoid the house being messy and leaving a bad impression on the four people who were about to arrive.

"You just said a week ago? You prepared for so long?" But then Lin Li found another key point.

"Hmph hmph," Qu Wanqiu was slightly proud, and then deliberately imitated Lin Li with a rough voice:

"Bro, everyone, I just created a super awesome four-person group chat. All the big shots in this group will be there, but, hey, guess who didn't receive an invitation?"

"Lin Li, when you mocked me before, did you forget what I told you?"

Lin Li's memory was very good now; this was his "isolating Qu Wanqiu" speech in the group chat, and at that time:

"Qu Wanqiu: We built a four-person group without you during National Day, hehe."

"Ding Sihan: Don't say it out loud @Qu Wanqiu."

Then he questioned whether the three who came really built a group, and no one paid any attention to him.

So—

"You guys built a group behind my back during National Day?" Lin Li concluded.

"Your brain isn't stupid." Qu Wanqiu nodded. "When we went out to play during National Day, when you said it was your birthday, we started preparing."

"First, thank you for your preparation; second, wrong, I am very stupid; I was just called an idiot several times today." Lin Li shook his head when he heard Qu Wanqiu's praise.

"Who? I'll help you curse them back."

Chen Yuying glared at Lin Li upon hearing this, one hand on her lap clenched into a fist, and she raised it slightly toward Lin Li.

Don't continue saying it.

"It's fine, the other party is also an idiot in my eyes, you don't need to help me curse." Lin Li smiled and changed the subject, then continued to confirm: "This can only be prepared by you today, was it at noon? Or in the afternoon?"

"At noon, Sihan and Wanqiu and Bai Bufan gave up their lunch break to set up the scene." Chen Yuying, who was called an idiot, hummed softly before explaining.

"So why didn't you come to set it up, monitor? They three are good, you are bad." Lin Li commented sharply upon hearing this.

"You would have discovered me if I didn't come." Chen Yuying wrinkled her nose and frowned.

That also makes sense.

Don't underestimate the bond of the noon trio.

If the monitor hadn't come at noon, Lin Li and Wang Yuezhi would definitely have found an opportunity to ask.

If Lin Li hadn't come at noon, Chen Yuying would definitely have found an opportunity to ask.

If Wang Yuezhi hadn't come at noon, then he definitely wouldn't have come.

Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan.

So the so-called being caught by Binbin at noon was purely to deceive him.

"No wonder you kept asking me if I was going to the cafeteria to eat at noon and in the afternoon; it turns out you were worried about me going home to eat. Was Wang Ze asking me questions also directed by you?" Lin Li asked.

"That's right, you couldn't arrive home before us, right? Wouldn't that be all for nothing? So I entrusted him to help us delay you for five minutes." Bai Bufan nodded like a master strategist:

"My so-called diarrhea was also an exquisite performance; otherwise, I was afraid you would discover or notice clues about me rushing out to meet them at the school gate."

Case solved; no wonder Wang Ze came up and asked about extension problems.

This guy really didn't want to study.

"Did you guys take a taxi here? How did you get out of the school gate? Could this leave be approved?" Lin Li only had the last bit of confusion left.

"Teacher Xue sent us over." Chen Yuying lowered her eyes and smiled, pride hidden in the bottom of her eyes reflecting the candlelight.

Lin Li stood at attention and looked around vigilantly.

Then he looked behind the sofa to confirm that Xue Jian wasn't here.

"Don't worry, Old Jian Tou didn't come up. After the monitor told him our plan, he agreed, but said that to ensure safety and control, he had to pick us up and drop us off.

We said we'd let him come up just now, but he said he would make us uncomfortable if he were here, so he didn't come up.

Old Jian Tou is waiting at the entrance of the complex for us to finish here, and he'll send us back to school later."

Bai Bufan saw through Lin Li's thoughts at a glance, so he explained.

"Old Jian Tou is the best head teacher in the world; I won't cause him any more trouble today." Lin Li was a bit moved.

"Only today? Then you are a very considerate student today." Bai Bufan gave a thumbs up upon hearing this.

"However, awesome, thank you for your hard work, moved, really moved." The full picture of the matter had been completely revealed, and Lin Li shook his head with emotion.

He turned his head and patted Bai Bufan's shoulder:

"Especially making it difficult for you, actually spending the whole noon alone with these two guys."

You have to know, Bai Bufan was completely unskilled at getting along with girls of the same age who he was familiar with.

Lin Li believed that the reason he insisted on staying in his room alone to give the second surprise, besides the main factor that he was a bit cheap, also had to do with not being used to staying in the living room with girls.

This is—bro!

"A general's success is built on ten thousand bones; someone always has to sacrifice." Bai Bufan nodded and waved his hand, hiding his merit and fame.

Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "?"

"Bai Bufan, you still dare to nod, come, let me touch your dog head!" Ding Sihan stood up and made a gesture to approach.

"Don't come over!" And Hajifan reacted on the spot, rolling and crawling to the other side of Lin Li to stay away from them, keeping vigilant.

"Alright, alright, don't forget the main purpose, it's to celebrate Lin Li's birthday, and our time is limited, Teacher Xue is still waiting for us."

Chen Yuying stood up, put her hands together, and said with a smile.

"That's right, then Lin Li, it's time to enter the process, blow out the candles and make a wish!" Ding Sihan immediately followed, walked a few steps to the living room switch to turn off the lights, so the living room was left with only the faint light of the candles on the coffee table.

Chen Yuying put a birthday crown folded from card paper on Lin Li's head.

Qu Wanqiu brought the cake over and handed it to Lin Li: "Lin Li, think about your wish first."

And Bai Bufan immediately stood up and went to Lin Li's kitchen, taking out something else from the refrigerator.

Lin Li, who had just reached out to take the cake, saw Bai Bufan's actions, as well as the other... cake in his hand?

So he asked with slight confusion: "Bufan, what are you taking?"

"Cake."

"Um, I can see that, but why buy two? The one in my hand is already very big, right?"

Lin Li looked down; the cake in his hand was at least eight inches, if not ten, and everyone wasn't very hungry, plus there were three girls, he was afraid they wouldn't be able to finish even this one.

"The one in your hand has cake embryo inside, while the one in my hand is pure cream, with no cake at all."

Bai Bufan opened the cake lid, showed it to Lin Li, and explained.

"But there's quite a bit of cream in this cake," Lin Li looked down at the cake in his hand, and looked up even more confused:

"Why buy another one to eat? Even if you girls don't mind that this will affect your figure, you'll get sick of it if you eat too much, right?"

This was already a lethal dose of cream; even if it were Zhou Baowei... uh, him, maybe he could finish it without feeling nauseous.

But everyone present would definitely get sick of it if they ate too much.

"Don't worry," Bai Bufan had already taken out the cake knife and plates and started to divide this pure cream cake, while smiling brightly, telling Lin Li not to worry: "Who told you this cake is for eating?"

Lin Li was stunned for a moment upon hearing this, then fell into silence, blinking his eyes.

If a cream cake isn't for eating, then what is it for?

Eh?

No way!

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 285 =====