Chapter 288: This damn side effect, I

The lunch break bell rang, and the students who went back to the dorm to rest came out of the dormitory building and headed to the classroom.

Zhou Baowei and Bai Bufan happened to meet Lin Li, who was getting water, in the hallway.

On the way back together, Lin Li patted Zhou Baowei on the shoulder, wiping the water on him at the same time, and cared: "Baowei, is your Chu Yuxun still uncomfortable?"

"My Chu Yu..." Zhou Baowei repeated it and reacted, helpless: "Say stomach if it's stomach! What Chu Yuxun."

"She isn't called stomach, she's called Chu Yuxun." Bai Bufan laughed and chimed in.

Zhou Baowei: "..."

"Stomach is stomach, so, is it better?" Lin Li didn't care.

"Better... or not? Slept for a while and eased up a bit, but just a bit. It's true that it's uncomfortable now, I guess it will take another day or two." Zhou Baowei sighed, shaking and nodding his head.

"That medicine is already in your drawer, remember to take it later." Lin Li patted him again.

"Huh? What medicine? Stomach medicine?" Zhou Baowei asked in confusion upon hearing this.

"Right, specially bought some for you." Lin Li nodded indifferently.

"You bought it when you went out at noon?"

"Um."

"Damn? You're so human, how much is it? I'll give you money later."

Zhou Baowei raised his eyebrows, as if he had re-recognized Lin Li, and didn't refuse this kindness, but asked.

"This rich brother of mine doesn't care about the three melons and two dates in your pocket anymore, and I bought it without asking if you wanted it, so naturally, it doesn't cost money." Lin Li waved his hand upon hearing this.

Buying without asking for an opinion, and then asking for money after buying, is no different from a robber.

"Then I won't be polite either, thanks." Zhou Baowei was very moved and swore never to drop a Taishan meteorite on Lin Li again.

Actually, Zhou Baowei wasn't poor; the money in his pocket was longer than Lin Li's life—19.5.

Remember, Lin Li is only 18, and 19.5 is greater than 18.

"We're all brothers, damn it." Lin Li waved his hand.

"By the way, Lin Li, did you buy Chinese medicine or Western medicine?" Zhou Baowei thought of something else and asked.

"Why ask this? Haven't you heard the saying, it doesn't matter if it's a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch Chen Rui, it's a good cat."

"Mainly I don't really like Chinese medicine

"What do you mean? Are you fawning over foreign things?" Lin Li immediately escalated the issue.

"I think it's because it's bitter. I don't like Chinese medicine either. I drank it for a week to regulate my gut, and even though it was only for a week, I felt like my body smelled like that for the whole month."

Bai Bufan actually agreed with Zhou Baowei, pulling a bitter face and chiming in with great seriousness.

"Then my reason for hating Chinese medicine is a bit different from yours." Zhou Baowei shook his head, his expression somewhat sad.

"Oh? Tell me more?"

"I used to have a filter for Chinese medicine, thinking it was profound and vast. Then one time, also to regulate my health, my mom bought me some Chinese medicine. I opened it and saw a cockroach in the medicine packet. But I remember, cockroaches are Chinese medicinal ingredients, right?"

"That's right, it seems to be called 'Feilian'. Actually, it's not just Chinese medicine; Western medicine uses it too. That 'Kangfuxin Liquid' is made from American cockroach extracts." Lin Li nodded and explained.

"So you think Chinese medicine is disgusting because of that?" Bai Bufan asked.

"No, I just felt it was even more profound and vast, so I didn't think much of it at the time and just drank it."

"And then?"

"Damn it, when I drank the second packet, I found there were no cockroaches." Zhou Baowei gritted his teeth as he said this.

"From then on, I hated Chinese medicine."

His words were firm and resonant.

Lin Li, Bai Bufan: "..."

This was definitely no longer a question of fawning over foreign things; this hatred was reasonable, pertinent, and hit the nail on the head.

The three of them returned to the classroom together.

And Zhou Baowei also retrieved the medicine Lin Li had bought for him from his drawer.

He had praised Lin Li too early; this stingy guy had only bought him a single pill.

No wonder he didn't want his money.

How could he have the nerve to ask for it?

"Lin Li, this wouldn't happen to be some free medicine you got from a pharmacy promotion, would it? The kind you get for scanning a QR code?" Therefore, Zhou Baowei had reason to be suspicious.

"No, this medicine is very expensive, forty yuan a pill. Don't look down on it."

But Lin Li, having been slandered, looked very hurt and retorted.

"What the hell? How much? Forty yuan a pill? Are you robbing me?" Zhou Baowei's eyes widened.

After all, he wasn't a rich kid, so he couldn't accept this price. He picked up the pill, looked at the drug name on the back, and read it out.

"Sildenafil Citrate Tablets."

"What kind of medicine is this? I've never heard of it?" Zhou Baowei, who wasn't sensitive to drug names, asked in confusion after reading it.

And Bai Bufan: "(; o_o)?"

What the hell did he just hear?

After a brief moment of stunned silence, Bai Bufan turned his head and looked at Zhou Baowei in confusion: "Read that again, you bastard. Isn't this the name of Viagra?"

Zhou Baowei: "(; o_o)?"

"What Viagra?" Zhou Baowei asked tentatively.

"The very Viagra you're thinking of right now, but can't believe it is."

After Bai Bufan leaned in and saw the drug name clearly, he nodded heavily at Zhou Baowei, "Yeah, that's it."

Then, the two of them tacitly turned their heads to look at Lin Li.

And facing the death stares of the two, Lin Li spread his hands with a slightly innocent look:

"Just go ahead and take it, Baowei."

"At noon, I went to the pharmacy and told the doctor to give me some medicine for my stomach. She prescribed me one of these on the spot and even said it would be effective with just one pill and that I absolutely shouldn't take too many.

So you can just toss it in your mouth and chew it; I bet it's definitely a very powerful special medicine."

Bai Bufan, Zhou Baowei: "..."

"That's for erectile dysfunction, not for the stomach, you idiot! How can I 'just go ahead and take it'? Taking this is way too risky! Something will definitely go wrong!" Zhou Baowei roared, then rubbed his stomach: "Ouch, I'm so angry my stomach hurts even more."

Lin Li laughed out loud upon hearing this, feeling very satisfied.

Only then did he take another bag of medicine from his drawer and toss it to Zhou Baowei: "Alright, here, this is for you. Real medicine for the stomach."

This time, Zhou Baowei confirmed the name first, and after making sure it was normal stomach-nourishing granules and small packets of medicine, he finally let out a sigh of relief.

But clutching the little blue pill in his hand, he didn't know what to do for a moment, so he asked in surprise: "So you did it on purpose? Then why buy this Viagra?"

"In the past, King You of Zhou lit the beacon fires just to make Bao Si smile; today, King You of Lin spent forty to buy Viagra just to make Imperial Concubine Zhou smile." Lin Li looked at Zhou Baowei with affectionate eyes, "Do you like it, Baowei?"

Zhou Baowei: "..."

"You're just doing it to make yourself laugh, aren't you?" Zhou Baowei tossed the pill back to Lin Li.

However, his gaze then became suspicious and teasing: "And... Lin Li, are you really just doing it for a laugh? It's not that you found an excuse to buy it in advance, preparing to use it yourself, is it?"

"Nope, I really just bought it on a whim." Lin Li shrugged.

When Lin Li bought the medicine at noon, he had indeed asked, but the pharmacy clerk smiled and confirmed whether it was for the stomach or for erectile dysfunction, so Lin Li had a thought and bought both.

Teasing a pet, it was worth it.

"Heh, don't believe you."

"I'll just throw it away, then you'll believe me." Lin Li stood up with a smile and walked toward the trash can.

"Damn, I saw the senior at noon, and she wasn't..."

Wang Ze walked over excitedly at this moment to share his progress. After hearing Lin Li's words, he asked curiously: "What are you guys talking about? Throwing what away?"

"Viagra." Lin Li handed the medicine to Wang Ze.

Wang Ze: "?"

How did something even more explosive than his own progress appear?

"Why throw this stuff away? Just give it to me." After learning the ins and outs, Wang Ze said immediately.

"Wang Ze, you... are you already old at such a young age?" Lin Li and the other two looked at Wang Ze and asked hesitantly.

"Can't your minds be a little less dirty?" Wang Ze sneered at their words and explained to the three:

"Sildenafil Citrate Tablets are a medicine covered by medical insurance in our country.

It can lower the concentration of nitric oxide in the lungs, helping to improve arterial oxygen saturation and exercise tolerance in patients with pulmonary hypertension, and thus can be used for the treatment of pulmonary hypertension.

It can also be used to treat heart disease; it's a very good medicine. As for the 'boner', that's just a side effect of this drug."

Lin Li and the other two suddenly realized, then sincerely confirmed with Wang Ze: "So Wang Ze, you have pulmonary hypertension or heart disease, right?"

"Then sorry, that's our hearts being too dirty."

"Nope."

"I just want the side effect." Wang Ze shook his head at light speed.

"Your mom, hahahahaha—" The three of them burst into laughter upon hearing the satisfying answer.

"How long is the shelf life? It should be a few years, right? I'll try to increase the frequency of my 'hand-work', I should have a chance to completely nourish my stomach before it expires and reach the point of using it." Wang Ze looked for the expiration date of the medicine and said.

"No need for that, no need for that."

"Sigh, forget it, stop worrying about this Viagra, let's continue talking about my big matter of getting a girlfriend!"

Wang Ze tossed the pills he was completely uninterested in into his pocket, then spoke with enthusiasm and eagerness, looking at his 'Adoptive Father':

"Lin Li, what should I do now? I didn't finish earlier; I had a meal with the senior at noon, we met, and good news: both her looks and her voice are pretty good. I'm quite satisfied.

Can I confirm the relationship right away?"

"It's really a pretty senior!?" Bai Bufan's eyes widened, "Don't confirm the relationship yet. I suggest you let the senior go for a physical exam; I suspect there's something wrong with her brain or her eyesight."

Ignoring the sour cucumber Bai Bufan, Wang Ze just looked at Lin Li expectantly.

"Don't be so anxious. You can't just look at her appearance when liking someone," Lin Li waved his hand with the demeanor of a master.

"That's true, but I feel like her inner self is fine too. She didn't scold me at all when chatting with me, she's quite patient, and her personality feels very okay." Wang Ze nodded, but added.

"No, my meaning is that you can't just look at her appearance, you also have to look at your own appearance." Lin Li finished his sentence and pointed at his own head toward Wang Ze: "Heh, 'puxinnan' (average but confident man)."

Wang Ze: "..."

"Damn."

Lin Li continued:

"You guys had a meal at noon today; it wasn't just you observing her, Senior Qian was definitely observing you too. After all, this is a two-way screening."

"And now, you being satisfied with her is of course good news, but she might not necessarily be satisfied with you."

"I know. Although she was the one who took the initiative to add you, Wang Ze, you also have to know that you were sunny and dashing running in first place at the sports meet, but you are stupid, idiotic, and have low EQ in daily life.

And this lunch, plus the chatting over the weekend, who knows if you've completely shattered the filter she had of you during the sports meet with one punch."

Wang Ze: "..."

"But, but when we parted downstairs at the dormitory building at the end, she said she had a very happy time at noon." Wang Ze tried to salvage a shred of dignity.

"Did you expect her to say to your face, 'Wow, junior, today's lunch was so disgusting'?" Lin Li asked back.

"..."

"Damn it, Lin Li, your words are so damn hurtful."

Wang Ze felt depressed, sat on Bai Bufan's desk, and rubbed his forehead:

"Then what do I do now? The offensive and defensive positions are reversed. Should I become a 'lick-dog'? I don't want to; there are already too many dogs in the class, this track is too crowded."

"Not necessarily, the above is just based on my worst-case guess. And what are you rushing for? You've only known each other for a few days, you do need to understand each other better.

Even if you like each other, isn't it quite good to have a longer ambiguous period? Knowing it in your hearts but maintaining restraint, so every action and conversation becomes very interesting, it's simply makes one unable to..."

Lin Li, who was analyzing, suddenly realized he had gone off-topic, stopped his argument about ambiguity, and continued to give advice:

"In short, you should stay put for these two days and see if she has any intention of asking you out for another meal. If she does, congratulations, that's absolutely stable.

If not, that's also normal. As long as she doesn't suddenly become cold in your chats, wait for your turn to invite her to eat again. If she doesn't refuse, congratulations, that's also considered stable.

If her desire to chat drops and she makes excuses when you ask her to eat, then congratulations, it's stable—Baowei will transform into a virtuous wife, wearing a naked apron at your dormitory door, and say to you with a sincere smile, 'Single dogs are welcome to roll back'."

Wang Ze adjusted his school pants: "Damn, that last sentence made me hard."

Zhou Baowei: "?"

Bai Bufan, who was drinking water to pass a kidney stone, almost laughed out loud at this action.

"Your mom, Wang Ze, you bastard, you really are performing consistently." Bai Bufan gave Wang Ze's butt on the desk a punch.

"But it really makes sense. It's my first time being pursued, I'm a bit anxious and worried. Lin Li, you're more reliable, what you said is right." Wang Ze nodded, but then asked:

"However, Lin Li, how should men and women actually chat? Today at lunch, it was actually very awkward many times in the middle."

"Originally, we weren't familiar with each other, and several times the awkward chatting couldn't go on, ending with 'uh-huh' and 'haha', and then the silence was suffocating. To brainstorm new topics, my brain felt like dying."

Wang Ze said his true feelings.

"Chat about common topics, everyone knows this, right?" Bai Bufan stood there talking on paper without back pain.

"The problem lies right there. She's more of a homebody, her hobbies are watching dramas, variety shows, and novels, while I'm into playing games and sports, the topics don't match." Wang Ze shrugged helplessly.

"Don't you read novels too?"

"The genres I read are completely different, there's no way to chat. The ones she reads are either 'danmei' (boys' love) or those palace intrigue ones; I can't read those at all. And the 'little yellow books', 'medium yellow books', and 'big yellow books' I read, she doesn't read either." Wang Ze shrugged again.

Bai Bufan pondered for a moment, his eyes brightening: "No, no, no, the essence is the same. Wang Ze, I have a trick, it might even show your masculine charm."

"Tell me about it?" Wang Ze frowned.

Bai Bufan stood up. Because Wang Ze was sitting on the desk, he appeared to be looking down from a high position. Bai Bufan stepped forward, pinched Wang Ze's chin, lifted it to meet his own gaze, gave a wicked smile, and spoke in a magnetic voice:

"Little rascal senior, next time you read a novel, if there are any characters you don't know, ask me."

Wang Ze: "?"

Is your 'essence' a bit too essential?

But Bai Bufan felt his suggestion was simply genius.

"Look, Wang Ze, this not only shows your 'domineering CEO' charm but also reflects your intelligence. If the senior is 'sapiosexual', she's probably already fainted with excitement!"

"Here I need to correct a fallacy."

Lin Li finally couldn't watch anymore. He, who had been frowning since just now, came up to set things straight:

"Many girls like 'domineering CEOs', but remember, they like the 'CEO' part, not the 'domineering' part.

For example, no one would like a 'domineering beggar'."

To demonstrate, Lin Li kicked Bai Bufan away, took his place, pinched Wang Ze's chin, gave a wicked smile, and spoke in a magnetic voice:

"Oi, little rascal senior, come beg for food with me at the school gate this weekend. I've already had the butler prepare your bowl for you. Shh—don't speak, don't refuse, this isn't asking for your opinion, it's a notification."

"How is it? Would you like this kind of domineering beggar?"

Wang Ze, whose mouth was covered: "(; o_o)?"

He wanted to kick both of them to death.

"Do you understand now? So the logic of teaching the senior to recognize characters is fine, but you can't use the tone of a domineering CEO, because Wang Ze is not a CEO, so you have to discuss it."

Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan and gave his conclusion.

"So that's it, my thinking was still too narrow." Bai Bufan nodded.

Watching the two who had started chatting enthusiastically, Wang Ze: "..."

"No, I know Bufan can't spit out ivory from his mouth, he's just a woman-fearing loser. Adoptive Father, you can't be like this, tell me something real! How should I actually chat in this situation?"

After pulling Lin Li's hand away, Wang Ze looked at Lin Li mournfully.

However, Lin Li shrugged: "I don't know."

"Eh?"

"No, Wang Ze, you really took me for a love master? My love experience is as zero as the limbs of Shang Yang. Before this year, the number of times people asked for my contact information was only as many as the number of times Bai Bufan's butt has been entered—one.

The things I told you before were just some EQ-related stuff; I have no experience with the rest.

In the absence of common topics, chatting is just about adapting to the situation and bullshitting randomly."

Lin Li spoke the truth.

You can't expect Wang Ze to treat the senior like a brother.

Bai Bufan is the cautionary tale.

However, if the senior likes reading 'danmei', then Wang Ze playing 'male-on-male' jokes might also have a miraculous effect.

"Then Adoptive Father, how do you manage to have endless things to talk about with the Class Monitor? Is it chatting about problems and studying? But looking at that lewd look on your face when you smile, it doesn't look like it."

Wang Ze tried to figure it out himself for a long time, and after failing, he asked with a headache.

"Just chat about anything, talk about whatever comes to mind. My situation is different from yours." Lin Li spread his hands.

"Give me an example, maybe it's the same. What was the last topic you two chatted about?" Wang Ze wouldn't give up.

Lin Li thought for a moment.

"At noon, I wanted to touch the Class Monitor's legs, but the Class Monitor wouldn't let me."

Wang Ze, Bai Bufan, Zhou Baowei: "?"

Bai Bufan's mouth twitched slightly, he smiled with relief, and looked at Wang Ze: "Wang Ze, still want to learn?"

Wang Ze shook his head mechanically.

How the hell am I supposed to learn this?

Chat about looking at 'pussy' the first time, and say 'let me touch your legs' the second time we meet?

Then 'Wang Ze, the bottom-tier man from Class 4, Grade 1' might be making a grand comeback on the confession wall.

(End of chapter)