Chapter 327: Thirty Years East of the River, Thirty Years West of the River, Thirty Years

Looking at the weapon that suddenly appeared in Daoist Shanqing's hand, Lin Li blinked innocently.

System, system, ask a question: can 【Soul Wall】 block damage derived from the physical body to the soul?

He seemed to be about to set sail.

But it was fine. He heard that when people jump off a building, they recall their whole life. Even if he was really beaten to the point of amnesia, at worst, he could just go jump off a building to solve the problem.

"Ah? No, haha, I accidentally got the shape wrong."

Seeing that Lin Li had noticed, Daoist Shanqing waved his hand, and the mace turned back into an old man's back scratcher. He took it and scratched his back, laughing.

Lin Li: "..."

Old man, you had better have gotten it wrong.

However, since it had already been exposed, Lin Li simply opened up and spoke directly, taking out his phone and handing it to Daoist Shanqing, saying bluntly:

"However, Grandpa... if you want to watch, just watch. Don't ask Bufan anymore. Even if Bufan could break the law, he couldn't help you find it, because you don't have it downloaded on your phone at all."

"I didn't expect you to be truly curious about this."

"But it's fine. I have it on my phone, and you can watch it now. Here, the ones I choose to keep even if they take up memory are all what I personally consider to be high-quality. You should be satisfied."

It was indeed a matter of no consequence.

What's wrong with watching porn? Who doesn't watch porn? Are those who don't watch porn normal people?

Watching porn is a low-class behavior.

Moreover, Daoist Shanqing had always been an "old urchin" image in Lin Li's eyes, so... his image hadn't even been ruined.

What's wrong with Master Roshi liking to watch this?

As long as he wasn't a Master Roshi who earned money for his wife to let her have fun with male cosplayers and male fitness coaches, Lin Li could accept it.

"Sigh."

Daoist Shanqing sighed upon hearing this, smiling bitterly with embarrassment:

"It's not that I really want to watch it. I've cultivated for a lifetime, after all. If I were addicted to these desires of the flesh, it would be impossible for me to reach this step and rank among the Tribulation Crossing."

"My Dao companion and I have also been more obsessed with seeking the Dao throughout our lives."

"It's just that Grandpa is indeed curious about this kind of thing."

"The direction of curiosity is different from what you imagine—dual cultivation techniques and strange sexual skills are things I've heard of, but the cultivation world mostly uses jade slips to record them, and they are all boring diagrams of meridian operation in ink."

"Regarding the form and content of this kind of 'living spring palace' in the current world, I am very curious... whether it can be as vivid as those documentaries."

"Plus, the beginning you showed before and then skipped, it really makes people's hearts itch... sigh, my face has ultimately paid the price for this."

"Grandpa, I know, you don't need to explain, it doesn't matter," Lin Li said with a smile.

He could tell that Daoist Shanqing wasn't being stubborn.

Lin Li could also understand.

Just like Lin Li didn't want acquaintances to see him using his dick to whip people, but he did indeed want to experience the joy of using his dick to whip people.

Under Lin Li's repeated invitations, Daoist Shanqing finally took the phone and saw the content behind the Crown Casino.

It made his eyebrows twitch, twitch, and twitch again.

"The performance is actually not bad..." After watching for a while by fast-forwarding and dragging the progress bar, the old man was indeed from the perspective of pure appreciation, nodded, and gave an objective evaluation:

"If it could circulate in the cultivation world, it might be regarded as a treasure by the Hehuan demon people. Based on this, they could remove the final concealment and develop evil arts to absorb human hearts."

The final concealment referred to the mosaic.

After all, the country requires that domestic films in Japan must be "cavalry" (censored). Experienced captains would discover that Japanese "infantry" (uncensored) films basically have an FBI warning at the beginning. That is one of the signs of genius distributors running to foreign countries to register companies, film and produce, and then "export to domestic sales."

"Thank you, Lin Li, this is enough."

After not watching for long, Daoist Shanqing returned the phone to Lin Li and let out a long breath.

The curiosity in his heart finally landed.

"Grandpa, next time I come, should I bring you some materials or items related to this?" Lin Li blinked and asked, "You don't need to be polite with me."

"This is really not needed!" Daoist Shanqing waved his hands repeatedly.

If one day those two friends woke up and saw those things next to him.

Once they figured out their purpose, his life would have been lived in vain.

"Also true. Speaking of which, Grandpa, can you make them yourself?" Lin Li nodded, but asked curiously: "To what level of cultivation do you need to reach to be able to arbitrarily condense into a physical entity with spiritual energy like you?"

"To condense into a 'physical entity' with 'flesh and blood' purely with spiritual energy, at least Nascent Soul Great Perfection."

Daoist Shanqing waved his hand while speaking. Following the waving action, a woman formed of spiritual energy appeared in front of Lin Li.

"Holy shit! Rion-sensei!" It took Lin Li two seconds to recognize her identity—sorry, Officer, you are wearing clothes now, so I really didn't recognize you.

Teacher, come back and continue filming, the industry needs you!

"Fabrication can be fabricated, but it is ultimately just an appearance, not an independent individual. Everything comes from my imagination, and all actions are also controlled by me. Since it is an imagination, why bother doing something unnecessary?"

Daoist Shanqing smiled, then his expression was teasing:

"Lin Li, if you want to do that kind of thing to this body, hehe, you can try it, as long as you can accept that the core inside the body is me, and the feelings produced by your touch and caress also come from my... imagination."

"... I have absolutely no thoughts."

Holy shit, I'm limp.

If Wang Ze were here, it would count as a double happiness for him.

"Alright, Lin Li, let's talk about business. For example, why did you come back so early this time? Did you encounter any problems?"

Daoist Shanqing didn't intend to continue chatting on this topic, stepped forward to take the food Lin Li had brought him, and asked.

If Lin Li hadn't come back so early this time, he wouldn't have been discovered.

Next time, if he wanted to do something unsuitable for Lin Li to see, the old man decided to change to another mountain.

Strange, why was there so much of this food called "Enoki mushrooms" in the takeout brought this time?

"It's like this, Grandpa. My divine ability gave me a mission, asking me to comprehend the mysteries of the five elements and temper myself with the power of the five elements. Can you help me?"

"I am currently using the 'Thunder-Containing Seed' for tempering and have gained something in the Wood element, but I have no clue about the other four elements."

Lin Li nodded upon hearing this and told the old man his core purpose for coming this time.

"Thunder methods and wind methods are indeed considered variants of the Wood attribute. It's reasonable that the 'Thunder-Containing Seed' can count as Wood element tempering," Daoist Shanqing nodded upon hearing this, "No problem."

"I have dabbled in all these spells. Although I am not proficient in them and currently lack auxiliary objects, tempering you, a cultivator at the Qi Condensation realm, is still more than enough."

Daoist Shanqing nodded, and the spiritual energy of heaven and earth began to gather toward him. After the originally pure white spiritual energy entered the old man's body and came out, it had already appeared in different colors.

Lin Li was shocked—Daoist Shanqing was fading!!

What kind of inferior product, does it have a production license?

"Lin Li, these are the oral formulas and key points." Daoist Shanqing wrote like a dragon and snake, and then the paper pages flew toward Lin Li, "Wait a moment, cooperate with this, the tempering effect will be better."

"Got it, Grandpa," Lin Li looked at it for a while and remembered it, then looked up.

"Good, then let's start. Which element do you want to start with?" Daoist Shanqing asked.

"Anything is fine, Gold, Wood, Water, Fire, Earth. Then let's do Gold."

"Good, calm your mind and start forming the seals."

Daoist Shanqing nodded, pointed his finger at Lin Li, and the golden spiritual energy around him instantly surged toward Lin Li.

Lin Li only felt thousands of golden needles suddenly piercing into every pore of his body. The sharp aura of metal wandered wantonly in his meridians, his skin tightened inch by inch, and his internal organs vibrated with a buzzing sound.

Fuck your mother, so painful, I can't take it, I can't take it!!

My dear mother!

So this is the kind of suffering that those fantasy male protagonists endure every day? Holy shit, I don't dare to think about how much blood and tears are hidden behind the light words like "perseverance," "severe pain," and "suffering beyond the endurance of ordinary people" in novels.

The author writes the words easily, but the protagonist really suffers a lot.

Lin Li was barking like a dog in his heart, but he still gritted his teeth and operated the magic formula, letting this violent spiritual energy gallop in his body—he just relied on this method to soothe the pain.

These fantasy male protagonists can do it, and I, Lin Li, can do it too!

Lin Li looked at the system.

Daoist Shanqing nodded at this time: "Lin Li, I will slowly increase the force. If you can't hold on, you—"

Lin Li: "I can't hold on, ah ah ah ah! Grandpa! I really can't take it!"

Daoist Shanqing: (；o_o)?

You really said it?

The few disciples he taught in his lifetime, didn't they usually prefer to temper until they fainted rather than give up?

This child's temperament and willpower...

"Grandpa, I don't know why, but my divine ability didn't recognize this kind of tempering," Lin Li looked up and continued to shout.

—Lin Li wasn't purely unable to hold on, but when he swept his gaze toward the system and found that the "Gold" progress bar in the mission was stable at zero, his spirit instantly leaked.

"Hmm?" Seeing this result, Daoist Shanqing took back all the metallic spiritual energy and made a sound of doubt:

"No effect?"

"Hmm, the divine ability doesn't recognize it."

"Is that so? Then I'll try changing to another method?"

"Good, Grandpa."

"Doesn't work."

"Doesn't work."

"Still doesn't work."

Although men shouldn't say it doesn't work, and women shouldn't say don't, many times things go against wishes.

"Strange, why is this? Lin Li, I have already tried all the tempering methods I can think of now. Is your divine ability so picky?"

"Or is there a slight error in what you described to me? Can you ask your divine ability?"

Daoist Shanqing asked with a look of doubt.

The two had just changed several postures and positions, and also used spiritual energy of different attributes to pour Lin Li into a cream puff, but none of them had any effect.

"My divine ability is a retard, asking it is useless."

Lin Li shook his head and insulted the system, then thought of a possibility: "Wait a moment, Grandpa, I'll test it."

Manifest the "Thunder-Containing Seed," test.

Lin Li sighed: "Grandpa, I might know where the problem is."

"It should be that the divine ability requires me to complete this mission in my reality."

Just now, using the "Thunder-Containing Seed" for tempering, it was clearly the exact same process as in class not long ago, but the "Wood" progress bar didn't move at all.

The only difference between the two was the world.

Can a mission activated in one world only be completed in that world?

But the "Old Man Happy" mission was triggered in the cultivation world, but when he was in reality, it didn't prevent its progress bar from moving forward.

Because the old man was always in the cultivation world?

Lin Li couldn't be sure, but he couldn't find any other suitable explanation.

He could only say that all interpretation rights belong to the system. Grass the mother of the trash system!

"Can only be completed in your world?" Daoist Shanqing frowned again upon hearing this:

"It is normal for divine abilities to have limitations. Since that's the case, I will teach you the method of attribute conversion. You can refine it yourself in the current world, and then temper yourself?"

"This way, although the efficiency will be much worse, for the effect of your divine ability, spending more time is worth it."

"Good," Lin Li nodded, "Thank you, Grandpa."

"Small matter, not worth mentioning."

Putting the paper with the method back into the "Qiankun Ring," although the main purpose of this visit had failed, time could not be wasted.

It was impossible to go back like this, so Lin Li and the old man returned to their own tracks—Lin Li cultivated his own, and the old man played his own.

【Mission 4 completed】

【You have obtained the reward: Physical improvement: Dao heart stabilized; Random system-oriented item *1; System currency *100.】

Lin Li, who was absorbing spiritual energy to cultivate, was interrupted by the system's message.

It was about the same as estimated last time.

Not long before returning to reality, Mission 4 was completed.

【You have obtained "Half-Price Item Purchase Opportunity" *1】

Another half-price coupon.

Not bad. If he was lucky, it would be worth a few hundred system currency. He could use it when he refreshed a useful high-priced item someday.

【Happiness has been sought, fun has been obtained, the old man's dullness has dissipated because of your arrival, and he already treats you as his own. Companionship is the longest confession, keep up the good work!】

【Mission triggered!】

【Mission 4: Continue to accompany the old man more, let the old man feel warmth.】

【Mission reward: Physical improvement: Fire resistance increased by 50%; Random system-oriented item *1; System currency *100.】

And a new mission popped up at this time.

This time it was no longer fun and happiness; the goal had become warmth.

The indicator was also a progress bar.

"Warmth?"

Lin Li frowned. What he frowned at wasn't the mission, but—

"Why does the mission of warmth reward fire resistance? What kind of warmth is this?" Lin Li couldn't help but complain.

Thinking about it, Lin Li temporarily stopped what he was doing and came to Daoist Shanqing's side.

"Pat."

Hearing the sound, Daoist Shanqing, who was immersed in the game, turned his head and saw Lin Li using a flamethrower to burn his wrist—it was equipped in the wilderness survival kit in the cultivation world.

Daoist Shanqing: "?"

Lin Li: "?"

—The mission progress bar really started to move.

It really was such a simple and crude warmth?

"Lin Li, you are..." Daoist Shanqing's body naturally wouldn't fear this kind of flame, so he was even too lazy to move, just asking with doubt.

"Nothing, Grandpa," Lin Li waved his hand and sighed.

System, I really have to control you.

If Daoist Shanqing were really an ordinary old man, he would have been warmed to death by him.

Hey, this b-mission keeps mentioning inheritance; the final goal of the mission wouldn't be to burn the old man to death, would it?

Feeling warmth - a small bone ash box is also great - getting the inheritance.

—Lin Li was speculating about the system with the greatest malice.

But it didn't matter. Since this could increase the progress, this mission was also quite good to complete. It wasn't realistic to keep pressing the flamethrower himself, so he would bring some convenient "warmth" next time he came.

"Grandpa Shanqing, I have to go again. It will be a long time before I come next time. You can rest assured to do what you want to do," so he put the igniter back next to the bag, and Lin Li said goodbye and left.

"Good."

"Do you really not need me to bring you a masturbator or a doll?" Lin Li didn't forget his original intention.

"No!!"

White light flashed, and Lin Li returned to the bedroom.

Manifest the "Thunder-Containing Seed," absorb. Sure enough, the mission progress bar started moving forward again.

This mission could only be completed in reality.

So Lin Li took out the method Daoist Shanqing gave him and immediately started practicing.

Time passed.

"Still doesn't work?" Lin Li frowned.

After finally condensing the other four elements of spiritual energy and accumulating them to a certain extent, when he could achieve the so-called tempering effect on himself, Lin Li began to temper.

But until this bit of spiritual energy was completely absorbed by the body, the progress bar still didn't change, staying in place.

"Seek to temper yourself with the power of the five elements..."

Lin Li continued to look at the mission description:

"Could it be that it must be sought from the outside world, and the five elements produced by his body's secondary transformation in reality won't work? Or is it that the cultivation method Daoist Shanqing gave him just doesn't meet the system's requirements? Regardless of whether it's in the cultivation world or not, it's like this?"

"Then how to find the five elements in reality, and also temper yourself?"

"It can't be that I go watch *GG Bond* and feel the five-element power of the Five Spirit King, right?"

Lin Li stopped talking to himself. Wait, this abstract system, maybe it really works.

So Lin Li's eyes lit up, and he walked toward the bedroom.

Finished watching an episode.

Useless, the system isn't abstract enough.

And Lin Li, who was full of fire, raised his middle finger at the computer screen.

Teacher Mi Hu, I have a question for you.

The more he watched, the angrier he got. Why divide the Five Spirit Power among the other few pieces of trash! The only one recognized by the Five Spirit King is GG Bond!

GG Bond finally practiced five king accounts, but ended up letting those four pig-like things play them into bronze. Teacher Mi Hu, you account-stealing dog!

I think you're really senile! At your age, you've lived your whole life on a pig!!

After patting Chen Yuying's wooden fish head to vent his anger, Lin Li still had to think about how to complete the mission.

"Reality definitely doesn't have the five-element power of the cultivation world concept, so first find the so-called five elements, and consider extending from them."

"Gold, Wood, Water, Fire, Earth. Wood doesn't need to be managed, and there are still Gold, Water, Fire, Earth left."

Lin Li opened the cabinet, took out the huge piece of gold, and then started squatting while holding it.

Lin Li could now easily hold this gold that ordinary people couldn't lift, but without turning on 【Power Accumulation】, doing standard squats for a long time was still tiring.

It rose.

When Lin Li felt tired, "Gold" had movement, extremely small, but there was indeed progress.

From nothing to something, from zero to one, the fatigue was swept away, and Lin Li was a bit excited.

This direction is correct.

Put away the gold, Lin Li returned to the bathroom.

Lin Li's house was an old house, so the shower room in the bathroom wasn't a separate space separated by a glass door, but an integrated shower room placed directly against the wall.

You need to take a step to get in, and the bottom counts as a mini bathtub.

The water heater hadn't been installed, but it didn't matter. Lin Li took off his clothes and walked in directly.

In mid-November, the feeling of cold water instantly attacking his whole body gave Lin Li goosebumps.

Looking at the progress of "Water," which was very, very small but indeed moving forward, Lin Li punched the air, adjusted the knob of the shower head, and made the water flow more urgent.

The speed didn't change much.

Lin Li's excitement also quickly calmed down.

At this speed, it was estimated that it would take more than ten months of continuous cold water showers to complete the progress.

The gold squats just now were the same; it was feared that he would have to squat and hold it for several months.

This speed was too slow.

When the bottom of the shower room was full of water, Lin Li sat down, buried his head in the water, and held his breath.

The speed increased slightly.

"Then swimming?"

Seeing this result, Lin Li immediately associated it. Guessing is not as good as experimenting. After tidying up, he took his equipment and went downstairs.

Naturally, there was no swimming pool downstairs in this broken residential complex. Lin Li went to the swimming pool of the Nansang Sports Center.

To be honest, many residential complexes claim to have supporting swimming pools, but most of the time, the pools are empty.

This point really needs to keep up with foreign countries. Lin Li heard that the swimming pool on the Titanic is still full of water to this day. This is the spirit of craftsmanship.

There are so many perverts in the swimming pool.

Just after entering the locker room, Lin Li saw someone taking off their clothes in front of him, as if they were already unaware of heaven and earth.

Because he had an appointment with Coach Yu to brush up on driving practice time, Lin Li just simply swam several laps in the 50-meter pool without resting throughout the whole process.

Swimming is still quite tiring.

But the good news is that the progress of "Water" had improved. The harder he worked, the more standard his movements were, and the more he tried his best, the faster the progress would be.

It meant that this direction of his should be correct.

Although it was still not fast, it wasn't slow either. If he came to swim a few more times, "Water" should be fine, and a worse environment might make the speed faster.

Walking out of the swimming pool, Lin Li was just about to hail a taxi to leave when he noticed the construction site next to him—the sports center was under construction here.

Moving metal belongs to the trial of "Gold," and the act of moving bricks can also be considered the tempering of "Earth," right?

It was indeed.

Shaking off the dust on his body, Lin Li returned to the intersection to wait for the car.

He had just borrowed a hat from a worker and mixed in a "job" to test it, verifying this conclusion.

But Lin Li hadn't figured out the mission logic yet—the same fatigue, but the "Earth" progress was several times that of the "Gold" progress.

Now, the only thing left with no progress was "Fire."

To be honest.

The people of Xiling are still quite uncultured.

Lin Li had just called the funeral home, using very polite language, very polite, and asked if they accepted orders for burning living people, but was scolded as a big idiot.

"Buddy." The funeral home was still too low-class, but fortunately, Lin Li found a fire element nearby, so he walked toward a guy next to him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The man turned his head upon hearing this.

"Is your cigarette almost finished?" Lin Li asked.

"Ah?" The man looked around twice upon hearing this. Although he didn't find whether this was a non-smoking area, he still apologized to Lin Li: "You can't smoke secondhand smoke, right? Sorry, sorry."

Holy shit, the people of Xiling are still too cultured.

But Lin Li waved his hand: "No, I'm not asking about this, I just have a favor I want you to help with."

"What favor? You say, I have time now." The man's smile was sunny.

"If you're almost finished, can you use the cigarette butt to burn my butt?" Lin Li asked sincerely.

Man: (；゜o゜)!?

Holy shit, the people of Xiling are still too perverted.

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 328 =====