Chapter 447: One Chicken a Day, Doctors Envy Me

After sleeping a few hours, Monday morning arrived.

Nansang Middle School.

Lin Li arrived at the classroom.

"According to unofficial histories, the upcoming Christmas is actually a holiday established to celebrate the Jin Dynasty's unification of the Three Kingdoms."

"Everyone should have heard the classic Christmas song 'Jingle Bells', right?"

"Jin Guo Bao! Jin Guo Bao! Jin Guo on the Wei! What this song praises is the hope that the Jin Dynasty, born from the Wei state, will grow stronger and stronger, exploding in popularity across the land."

"Also, on Christmas everyone says 'merry chri Sima Shi', right? Translated, that means Sima Shi is happy every day, which is also evidence for this unofficial history."

"Oh right, I also have Sima Shi's payment code. In a couple days on Christmas, if anyone wants to transfer him money to wish him a happy holiday, you can contact me."

Bai Bufan's unofficial history segment was not absent today, and it was clear he had specially prepared it for this week.

"Damn, there's still Christmas this week. How about this, everyone send me your gifts if you're free, I've prepared exquisite addresses for everyone!" Yang Bangjie exclaimed.

This week I'm going to furiously forward Christmas-themed lewd images!

"So Christmas celebrates the Wei state," Zhou Baowei, having learned new knowledge, scratched his head in some shock:

"I always thought Christmas celebrated chicken pot stew. I always heard that song as 'Chicken pot stew, chicken pot stew, passing through my stomach'."

Zhang Haoyang sighed, somewhat unreconciled: "It would've been great if the Jin Dynasty was founded by miHoYo. Poor Mi worked so hard, diligently striving to unify the Three Kingdoms, only for Sima Shi to pick the peaches in the end."

"Damn, having a formula makes solving problems so fast." Bai Bufan couldn't hold it in, instantly giving a big thumbs up.

"Using a formula should also be about Shu's unreconciled feelings, right? But honestly, the easiest to empathize with is Shu. Watching the old Romance of the Three Kingdoms, when the Chancellor said 'take care', it hurt me to death," Qin Zeyu said with some emotion upon hearing this, then with some regret:

"What a pity, what a pity. To put it bluntly, Liu Bei's civil and military officials weren't very compatible, which led to failure in the later period. If the pairing could be changed, there would definitely be a different effect."

"I have an invincible lineup in my heart:"

"Zhuge Liang paired with Zhao Yun to guard Chengdu, Xu Shu paired with Guan Yu to guard Jingzhou, Pang Tong paired with Zhang Fei to guard Hanzhong, I paired with Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao, Diaochan, Sun Shangxiang, Zhen Ji, Cai Wenji, Hua Tuo temporarily residing in the rear at Xiaopei, forming a pincer movement with them. In my view, the great enterprise can succeed."

"What a pity, what a pity. The lord was born before me, I was born after the lord's state perished, born at the wrong time."

Qin Zeyu let out a long sigh.

If Zhuge Liang had encountered a wise lord like myself, it would certainly be a different ending, right?

"I think this lineup is pretty trash," Wang Ze contemptuously kicked Qin Zeyu, this shameless guy, but didn't kill him, then changed his tone, "Unless you let me guard Chengdu together with Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun."

Qin Zeyu: "Deal."

Wang Ze nodded: "Wise lord, ah, in that case, the great enterprise can indeed succeed."

"Hehehe, Zhuge... hehehe, Zhao Yun..."

"Hahahahaha you hehe your mother!!"

"Too stable, damn!"

After hearing the hehehe segment, not a single one of Bai Bufan and the others could hold back from cursing the two of them.

The classroom was filled with a joyful atmosphere.

"Breakfast, everyone come get some." Lin Li weaved through the horsing around back-row guys, somewhat out of place as he distributed the breakfast in his hands.

After getting breakfast, everyone returned to their seats to eat, except Wang Ze — he chose to put his breakfast on the storage cabinet and eat standing up.

"Lin Li, what's wrong with you, did your uncle come?" After Bai Bufan returned to his seat, he didn't eat breakfast right away, but looked at Lin Li hesitantly.

Lin Li was very strange this morning.

Just now when everyone was fooling around laughing and cursing, this guy wasn't absent until the end, but he actually didn't participate the whole time, and his expression right now was also very bland, making Bai Bufan unable to help but worry.

He felt Lin Li seemed to have encountered some setback, not knowing if there was a risk he couldn't get past.

Upon hearing this, Lin Li gave a light smile without much laughter, then glanced at Bai Bufan with a calm gaze: "Bufan."

"Hm?"

Lin Li: "Do you know? The current world record for sex is held by Johnny Martin at 36 times in 24 hours."

"But I believe this is far from the human limit. I have a friend who can achieve his record in three hours."

Bai Bufan: "o_o."

Bai Bufan: "⊙▃⊙?"

Bai Bufan: "(wДw)!!!"

"Lin Li! Don't do anything stupid! Lin Li!!" Bai Bufan grabbed Lin Li's shoulders in heart-wrenching panic, shaking him hard:

"I understand you want to be a gentleman, but a gentleman's friendship is bland as water, but tm no one said you had to bleed!! This kind of thing we need to take slow and steady!! Don't drain the pond to catch the fish!! Lin Li——! You won't suddenly drop dead next to me today, will you!! That would be so unlucky!!"

"Just kidding, not that many times," the shaken Lin Li still maintained his smile of eternal tranquility, saying lightly: "But I really haven't quite recovered."

His own physical health is definitely still the primary consideration. Lin Li won't sacrifice the fundamentals for the trivial.

It's just that, ever since getting the system, it's been a long time since he felt this sensation of his body being hollowed out.

However, after getting the system, I haven't felt this taste of my body being drained for a long time.

Actually Bai Bufan didn't believe it either.

He himself isn't without a penis. 36 times in three hours, averaging once every five minutes — that's not human anymore. Immediately, Bai Bufan chose to switch to an even more tricky angle to investigate this matter:

"What resources did you find last night that let you reach this point?"

"Don't hog it all yourself. The essence of the internet is sharing. Hurry up, spill the details. If it's really that great, tomorrow I'll come see you in your posture."

"Don't eat alone, the essence of the internet is sharing, hurry up and slurp it, if it's really good, I'll meet you tomorrow in your form."

Resources that could drain Lin Li dry must be pretty amazing.

Upon hearing this, Lin Li turned his head, looked out the window, sighed, and exclaimed:

"Watching pure love makes me feel inferior, watching NTR makes me sympathetic, watching heavy stuff makes me nauseous, watching lolis feels too small, watching mature women feels too old, watching young girls feels too ordinary, watching femboys feels uninspiring, watching futanari holds no interest, watching workplace makes me associate with life and feel more inferior, watching campus makes me associate with youth and feel more heartbroken, watching isekai makes me associate with the future and feel more fantastical, domestic animation basically doesn't exist, Korean comics are too vivid, Japanese manga black and white is rigid, white bar censorship blocks severely, black bar censorship feels worse, mosaics affect the whole, holy light makes imagination difficult, outdoors feels like I'd catch a cold, bed feels too cliché, floor and table feel too hard, city dark alleys feel too socially embarrassing, public toilets subway trains I don't even dare watch, one-on-one feels monotonous, one-on-many makes me jealous, many-on-one sounds pitiful, swapping feels untrustworthy, group feels too chaotic... picked for half a day, finally quietly opened Life Insurance."

"Watching pure love makes me feel inferior, watching NTR makes me sympathetic, watching hardcore makes me nauseous, watching loli feels too young, watching mature women feels too old, watching young girls feels too ordinary, watching cross-dressers feels like nothing, watching futa feels uninteresting, watching workplace scenarios makes life feel more inferior, watching school scenarios makes youth feel more painful, watching otherworldly scenarios makes the future feel more fantastical, domestic comics basically don't exist, Korean comics are too vivid, Japanese comics are black-and-white and rigid, white barcode censorship is too severe, black barcode viewing experience is worse, mosaic affects the whole, holy light is hard to imagine, outdoors feels like catching a cold, in bed feels too cliché, floor and table feel too hard, city dark alleys feel too socially deadly, public toilets, subways, and trams are basically not dare to watch, one-on-one feels monotonous, one-on-many feels jealous, many-on-one called pitiable, substitution feels untrustworthy, group feels too chaotic……After pondering for half a day, I still silently opened life insurance."

Turns out it was just Life Insurance. Thought it was Rain Sister.

So it's just Ren Shou, I thought it was Sister Yu.

"You two laughing over there, what's so funny?" Zhang Haoyang, who had come to the back cabinet to look for something, heard the words and his attention was drawn.

Bai Bufan wanted to quote it, but found he hadn't memorized it yet, so he casually replied: "We're laughing at Zhou Yu's lack of strategy, Zhuge Liang's limited wit—if I were commanding troops, I'd have hidden an army here beforehand—what then?"

Zhang Haoyang: "..."

He couldn't even be bothered to curse "idiot."

As for Lin Li, at that moment he suddenly turned his gaze to Zhang Haoyang, regained a bit of energy, no longer had the dead-fish stare, and sincerely asked:

"Haoyang, your Christmas wish wouldn't be to have a little sister, would it?"

Zhang Haoyang is the type who'd shout in the group chat "sisters are the best, lolis are the best," so it's quite possible.

Upon hearing this, Zhang Haoyang took half a step back, wary and puzzled, and looked at Lin Li in surprise: "How old are you, still making Christmas wishes? Birthday and New Year wishes are enough—Christmas? Childish or not?"

"It's fine if you didn't make one." Ignoring Zhang Haoyang's criticism, Lin Li nodded reassuringly.

Having already retrieved his things, Zhang Haoyang left with a puzzled expression.

Bai Bufan stared fixedly at Lin Li, disbelieving that Lin Li would ask such a thing out of nowhere: "Lin Li, why did you suddenly ask that?"

Since he knew Bai Bufan would definitely keep pressing until he got to the bottom, Lin Li didn't hide anything:

"Last night, to get into the spirit, besides looking at life-related stuff, I also checked out quite a bit of Christmas-themed content."

"One of them, tsk tsk.

It starts with Santa Claus climbing down the chimney into a little kid's house, opening the sock at the head of the child's bed, discovering the wish the kid had made: 'I want a little sister,' and then Santa was deeply moved, nodded, and immediately went to the little boy's mother's room.

Okay, the rest can't be said—let's fast-forward an hour and a half of the plot here.

In short, by the end, the little boy's wish was fulfilled—he really did get a little sister."

Bai Bufan: "(゜▽゜)?"

"Where did this little sister come from—his mom's side? Is it from the Dao? Answer me! Lin Li, answer me!"

"Don't you dare skip the middle part for me!!"

"So," Lin Li sighed and shook his head: "I'm worried Haoyang might also make this mistake, causing family discord."

Bai Bufan: "......"

Bai Bufan raised his thumb.

Three seconds later.

"Send me that link later—such a reasonable plot, I absolutely have to watch it."

"......"