Chapter 262: Judging a person is nothing more than finding the similarities and differences

Although QQ mutual friends' likes don't have a little red dot like WeChat, there are still notifications for comments mutual friends leave on posts.

"Who is 'Old Steed in the Stable'? What kind of super-extraordinary middle-aged ID is that? Is it the class monitor's dad's nickname?"

Bai Bufan noticed Lin Li's comment immediately, and after reading it, he turned his head and asked in surprise.

Since comments from friends display their remarks first, what Bai Bufan saw was different from what Lin Li saw himself.

"Son:... It seems to be called something like 'Old Stable Steed'."

"It's 'Old Steed in the Stable', don't mispronounce it. It doesn't mean that at all, show some respect." Lin Li frowned upon hearing this.

Bai Bufan: "?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, moistened them, and took another careful look. It really was "Old Welfare Girl" (a slang term for a specific type of internet personality).

Damn.

Alright, it had indeed changed from a middle-aged person's ID to a young person's ID.

"So it was your heaven-defying nickname." Thinking that someone who could choose such a nickname must have had a master name it for them, Bai Bufan clicked on Lin Li's QQ profile and realized it was him, suddenly finding it reasonable.

Lin Li, who had been described as heaven-defying by Bai Bufan, twitched the corner of his mouth.

He felt a bit wronged; how could Bai Bufan dare to call his nickname heaven-defying?

——Bai Bufan's current QQ nickname was "Too Much Tax Evasion Needs a Ruthless Investigation."

——As for WeChat, because he didn't have a burner account and his contact list included family, it was relatively normal—"The Whole Village Praises Me for Being Strong and Powerful."

Compared to his own, didn't his seem quite normal?

Just as Lin Li was planning to scroll through other posts.

"Hey, Lin Li, this comment of yours... how should I put it, it makes me want to pee." Bai Bufan said to Lin Li.

Lin Li put down his phone upon hearing this, frowning as he looked at the slightly smiling Bai Bufan, not yet understanding what kind of nonsense this guy was spouting.

"Speak human."

"This comment of yours, in my eyes, is like me wanting to mark this classroom, Grade 1 Class 4, as my territory, but there are too many people now, and I'm embarrassed to just drop my pants and lift a leg to pee in the corner, so for the sake of face, the genius me chose to pee while wearing my pants."

Bai Bufan maintained a teasing expression, looking at Lin Li with a smile:

"Peeing your pants, others might be able to see it, but they can only see it; only you know that warmth you've hidden away.

Lin Li, you should understand what I mean, right?"

Lin Li: "..."

Where did this tapeworm come from?

Lin Li chuckled.

Then Lin Li laughed out loud and stood up: "Of course I understand what you mean. You're saying you want to pee in the classroom. No problem, Bufan, I'll come to assist you."

"An 'urgent' look, funny, so classic, it's really hard to hold back." Watching Lin Li, who was somewhat embarrassed and angry, Bai Bufan began to laugh and run away to avoid being beaten to the point of incontinence, not forgetting to review the Six Arts of a Gentleman as he went.

After covering Bai Bufan's corpse with endangered plants, Lin Li returned to his seat.

There were quite a few messages in his space.

"Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu, Chen Yuying, and two others liked your comment."

——QQ comments do indeed have a like function.

"Ding Sihan replied to your comment: Where did you get that gossip?"

"Qu Wanqiu replied to your comment: Where did you get that inside information?"

"Chen Yuying replied to your comment: 'Fist' 'Fist' 'Fist'"

"Wang Yuezhi disliked your comment."

"Wang Yuezhi replied to your comment: According to Article 25 of the 'Public Security Administration Punishments Law of the Eastern University', acts of spreading rumors, falsely reporting dangers, police situations, or intentionally disturbing public order by other means shall be subject to detention of not less than five days but not more than ten days, and may be concurrently fined not more than 500 yuan; if the circumstances are relatively minor, detention of not more than five days or a fine of not more than 500 yuan."

Besides these, there were also replies from some unknown IDs.

They thought he was daydreaming, so most wanted to pee on his head; the only one who was nicer to him said he had diabetes, so at least he could give him something sweet to taste.

There was no need to chat under such public posts, and no need to chat for others to see, so Lin Li didn't reply to anyone, just sent an emoji in the "Three People and One Dog" group.

The evening self-study session started quickly, but it was basically no different from the break; everyone continued doing what they were doing, and no one even cared about the music on the multimedia system.

The rare freedom of a closed campus.

Xue Jian also came for a few minutes, but seeing everyone playing on their phones, he didn't lecture them, just said to control the volume and not be too noisy.

So the boys completely let loose, simply changed seats, and arranged a round of internal warfare.

"I can't play, I've already uninstalled Honor of Kings." Zhou Baowei sent such a message in the group chat.

Seeing this, Bai Bufan turned his head in surprise to look at Zhou Baowei: "Baowei, what are you doing? Are you also half-quitting games like Lin Li?"

"Maybe it's to make his phone lighter, after all, he's already heavy himself. If he can't lose his own weight, can't he lose the phone's weight?" Lin Li interjected upon hearing this.

Zhou Baowei: "..."

Can this even be turned into a segment to humiliate him?

"In two weeks, I lost about half a month's worth of time! Isn't that a significant effect!" Zhou Baowei emphasized.

Lin Li gave a thumbs up from across the room; that's really losing weight.

"And who told you that downloading things makes a phone heavier, Lin Li." Bai Bufan turned his head and laughed at Lin Li's previous words.

"That's your own problem. Don't talk nonsense if you don't understand. Storing things in a phone will make it heavier. My phone previously stored over 100GB of lewd pictures and comics, and a month later I found the phone getting heavier and heavier, almost unable to hold it steady."

Lin Li felt that Bai Bufan was like an illiterate person who didn't understand digital products at all, and sneered back.

Bai Bufan, Zhou Baowei: "(; o_o)?"

It seems like that.

But.

You damn thing, you can't hold it steady because the phone got heavier? I'm too embarrassed to expose you.

"Don't pay attention to this idiot. Baowei, hurry up and download it back. Do you have data? If not, I'll turn on a hotspot for you. My last month's rollover data hasn't been used up yet, take it and download." Bai Bufan stepped forward to urge Zhou Baowei.

"It's my phone's storage that's insufficient." Zhou Baowei stated the real reason.

"Go to the hallway to download, the hallway has a lot of space. If that doesn't work, roll to the school gate." Bai Bufan pointed outside the door and said.

Zhou Baowei: "..."

Your mother.

"Isn't your phone 256GB? Logically, it shouldn't be that easy to fill up. Do you like taking photos? I haven't seen it. What have you downloaded?" Bai Bufan retracted his hand and asked, puzzled.

Zhou Baowei answered in a second: "It's the 100GB+ of lewd pictures and comics that Lin Li sent me before."

Bai Bufan: "?"

So you two have such a bond behind my back?

"My seat is between you two, my life is ruined." Bai Bufan stepped forward and directly snatched Zhou Baowei's phone, "Delete a few quickly! Lust is a bone-scraping knife, don't bring such dangerous things into the campus!"

Unable to resist Bai Bufan, Zhou Baowei sighed and painfully reduced the phone's weight: "I'm sorry, IPX-934."

After hearing this, Lin Li slowly fell into thought:

"Bufan, you say... if lust is a bone-scraping knife, when Hua Tuo scraped Guan Yu's bones to heal his wounds, was he playing porn for Guan Yu the whole time?"

Bai Bufan: "?"

"According to unofficial history, that's how it was."

Bai Bufan was an expert on the Three Kingdoms, so he had to believe it.

The evening self-study session ended in such a relaxed and playful atmosphere.

Before riding his bike home, Lin Li first went to his usual ramen shop.

"What are you eating, friend?" There were no customers in the shop at this hour. The owner was originally sitting in a chair playing with his phone, but seeing Lin Li come in, he stood up and asked.

"Scallion oil noodles with two poached eggs," Lin Li ordered first, then made a request: "Boss, do you have takeout seals? Can you give me a few?"

"What do you want these for?" The boss asked, somewhat puzzled.

"My takeout was stolen..." Lin Li briefly explained the general situation of the day, "... so, if that thief wants to continue stealing, and I want to give them some surprises, I need some takeout seals to assist."

"Thieves are indeed very annoying, they deserve a lot of slaps." The boss felt some empathy upon hearing this, "Just take whatever you want from my pocket later."

Lin Li was also an old customer, so there was basic trust, and this thing wasn't contraband; one could buy it on the market if they wanted to.

He wouldn't become an accomplice if he really did something bad.

"Thanks, boss."

"My friend, I support you like an eagle from behind. The power of Dayun Automobile is there, and the speed of the Fuxing train is also there." The boss happily patted his chest upon hearing this.

Lin Li took a deep breath, looked at the halal sign in the shop, and repeatedly confirmed his memory, so he tentatively asked: "Boss, you should be Hui, right? Why this accent? It wasn't there before?"

"I watched too many 'energetic' Uyghur-style short videos, it's a bit addictive, friend." The boss spread his hands and said embarrassedly.

Lin Li: "..."

"Boss, how do you say this stuff, it tastes so authentic?" Lin Li was curious.

"This is simple," the boss taught him without an accent, "Kid, if Northeast dialect is a random word placed in a random position in a sentence, then this literal translation of Uyghur-style language is a random metaphor placed in a random position in a sentence.

For example, in Mandarin: Can you be a bit more generous?

In Uyghur-style language, you could say: Hey friend, can you dig the meat off an ant's leg and eat it in your stomach every day?"

Lin Li: "..."

Don't say it, you really don't have to say it.

The next day, Thursday. Putting two fully charged sports cameras and a portable Wi-Fi into his schoolbag, changing into a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, and casually throwing on a jacket, Lin Li rode his bike to school.

There were 3000-meter preliminaries and finals in the morning, and 1500-meter preliminaries and finals in the afternoon.

Although for Lin Li, even running in bean-bean shoes and tight pants, he was confident he could steadily take first place.

But he still had to give some face to the basic laws of this world and pretend to be serious.

There was no opening ceremony today, so after arriving at school, Lin Li went straight to the playground.

From afar, he saw Wang Yuezhi standing in the spectator area doing warm-up exercises, his expression slightly stiff, looking very nervous.

There was still more than an hour before the competition started, but after all, he was a conscripted laborer, which was understandable.

"It's over Lin Li, it's over, it's over!" Just as he approached the class base, before he even had time to greet Chen Yuying, Lin Li heard Bai Bufan's barking.

"What's wrong?" Lin Li turned his head to look at Bai Bufan who was running towards him, and asked in confusion.

"This morning, didn't we tell you not to bring breakfast? I went to the cafeteria to eat, I ate noodles in the morning, at that separate window.

Damn, that auntie at the window, when school first started, she called me 'little handsome guy', but this morning she only shouted 'little brother'. Lin Li, don't you know what this means?"

!

Bai Bufan wailed painfully and desperately.

Lin Li was somewhat gratified: "This means she finally broke the bad habit of lying."

"Yeah, damn, she broke—" Bai Bufan originally wanted to empathize, but then he froze.

(; o_o)?

So it was breaking the bad habit of lying?

"Your grandfather's Lin Li." After Bai Bufan laughed and scolded, he patted his shoulder and asked: "Hey, did you prepare the props for arresting the dog bastard?"

Lin Li patted his schoolbag, indicating there was no problem.

"At noon, let's go back to the dormitory early, and then we'll close the door and release you to start the hunt!"

"OK!" Bai Bufan rubbed his hands.

Walking to the edge of the base, Chen Yuying's outfit today was exactly the same as yesterday.

"Lin Li, you didn't look at my eyes first at all."

While zipping up her jacket, Chen Yuying bit her lower lip, helpless yet with a hint of a smile.

"Stingy, then I won't let you look either." Lin Li snorted disdainfully and zipped up his own jacket too.

Lin Li's revenge was very funny, and mockery was also laughter.

"Yo, isn't this the 'Old Steed in the Stable' that our Yingbao likes?" Not far away, Ding Sihan came smelling the scent.

"Yo, isn't this the genius girl Little Ding?" Hearing this teasing, Lin Li responded with a surprised voice, then said in a deep voice: "I must always move forward, no one can make me turn back."

"Ahhhhh, you're not allowed to shout my internet name and personalized signature, Lin Li! I'll kill you!" Ding Sihan's face turned red all of a sudden, and after a battle cry, she rushed up to chase and beat Lin Li.

The former nickname was fine, but the latter personalized signature really shamed her to madness.

People are always like this, most afraid of being called by their real name on the internet, and afraid of being called by their internet name in reality.

While dodging, Lin Li looked at Qu Wanqiu: "Charming little mom, I'm actually super—"

Qu Wanqiu: "?"

"Shut up!"

Lin Li, who had already died once before today's events even started, finally arrived at the base.

Wang Ze sat on a chair, looking slightly melancholy.

Bai Bufan on the side also looked melancholy on the surface, but was actually holding back laughter.

"What's wrong?" Lin Li walked over and put his arm on Wang Ze's shoulder, asking a question he already knew the answer to.

"Those two girls are too shy, which makes me happy and worried. A whole night has passed and they are still shy." Wang Ze sighed, "I made so many preparations last night, but now I have no chance to use them. I'm anxious."

"What preparations did you make?" Lin Li asked, somewhat amused.

"Wang Ze asked us to provide lighting for him last night. After a hundred wasted photos, he finally took a perfect abdominal muscle photo and immediately posted it to his Moments." Zhang Haoyang pushed his glasses and added.

"Is it that disgusting?" Lin Li was amused and immediately took out his phone to see.

"Don't look, you can't see it." Zhang Haoyang laughed, "Those few Moments were blocked from all friends."

"Then why post it for?"

"Because this way, the ones blocked are us current friends, but new friends can see it."

Lin Li: "?"

Can it still be operated like this?

"These don't need to be said so loudly, cough cough," Wang Ze stood up and covered his son's mouth, then looked at Lin Li and laughed: "To show my charm, I even specifically asked Wang Yuezhi to learn some magic."

It's a pity there was no performance at the closing ceremony, otherwise Class 4 might have had three clowns.

Seeing Wang Ze taking it so seriously, Lin Li even wanted to tell him the truth.

However, Bai Bufan on the side seemed to notice Lin Li's intention and shook his head at him fiercely from behind.

Lin Li smiled, let it be, and changed the subject: "Wang Ze, magic is still too ordinary, do you want to learn magic?"

"Magic? The kind that requires turning into a young girl?" Wang Ze raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, no need."

"Then I won't learn."

Lin Li: "?"

"But it's the hypnosis type."

"Coach, this is what I want to learn."

"I'll give you a demonstration," Lin Li laughed, then walked towards Bai Bufan, snapped his fingers heavily, and then said the spell: "Bufan, from now on, you will forget that you are a gay."

Bai Bufan: "?"

"I was never gay to begin with?" Bai Bufan said, surprised.

Lin Li didn't speak, looking at Wang Ze but pointing at Bai Bufan, looking proud: "This is the power of magic!"

"No! You damn! I wasn't a gay to begin with! What kind of bullshit magic is this!" Bai Bufan was anxious.

"See, amazing, right? Forgotten completely!" Lin Li answered, still proud.

"No? Eh? Damn!" Bai Bufan widened his eyes.

For a moment, he didn't know how to break the situation.

"Unsolvable?!"

"No, this magic has too many loopholes." Wang Ze smiled disdainfully as if he had seen a minor trick. As a master of gay jokes, he stood up and walked between the two.

"It's too simple to determine a man's sexual orientation, just look at his asshole, the criteria for judgment is nothing more than finding the similarities and differences."

Lin Li, Bai Bufan: "o. o?"

No.

Wait.

God damn similarities and differences.

But it also seems to make a lot of sense.

"So this magic seems unsolvable, as long as Bufan takes off his pants, it can be easily cracked, because as long as he was never a gay, then he is the 'difference'." Wang Ze said lightly, then looked at Bai Bufan: "Bufan, come on, start proving yourself."

"Your purpose seems wrong, right?"

Bai Bufan smiled and gave a middle finger, having to sigh:

"Having known Wang Ze for a long time, I suddenly understood the lyrics of Zhao Lei's 'Chengdu'."

"'Let me~~ shed tears~~ not just last night's wine~~'"

Because of this lyric sung by Bai Bufan, Lin Li could never look at this song straight again.

Zhao Lei worked hard.

Bai Bufan accompanied Wang Ze to drink last night's wine, and before leaving, he gave Lin Li a look, suspected of wanting to do something.

Lin Li stood in the shadow of the parasol, watching the sky and waiting for time to pass, chatting with the "three people" beside him from time to time.

"Please athletes participating in the men's 3000 meters go to the check-in office to check in, please participate..."

Chen Yuying was originally looking at the track from the side, but turned her head suddenly when she heard the broadcast, her ponytail drawing a dark and bright arc in the sunlight, her reaction seeming even bigger than Lin Li's, the light in her pupils fragmented, as if she had collected the entire autumn sky into her eyes.

"Lin Li, come on, you will also have a smooth journey." Chen Yuying blessed with a smile.

"A bit worried and nervous." Lin Li sighed.

"No need, no matter what the result is—" She took a half step forward, tilted her head, and crossed her hands behind her back: "You are very amazing."

"Ah, class monitor, I'm not worried about this," Lin Li suddenly sighed again with a long tone, "I'm worried about what pose I should strike on the podium to take photos, I don't have this experience."

Chen Yuying was stunned, then burst into laughter.

She tilted her head slightly, the smile in her eyes flowing with her gaze: "No need to worry about this even more,"

Taking a step back, Chen Yuying raised her hand, virtually making a photo frame, enclosing Lin Li in the sunlight framed by her fingertips, closing one eye, her smile bright: "Lin Li, no matter how you look, you look very good."

Her ending tone drifted away with the wind, and Lin Li suddenly forgot to breathe.

Xiaojing Xiaojing, I'm sorry.

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 263 =====