Chapter 372: Love is not invincible, it cannot overcome all difficulties

After Shanqing Taoist finished being stunned, he laughed out loud.

The words Lin Li hopes to hear at his funeral... are really simple.

—This guy just simply doesn't want to die.

But if it were really as Lin Li said, then being sprinkled with glutinous rice is already considered good. Lin Li should hope that there is no boy urine at the funeral.

In fact, Lin Li has not only thought about what he most wants to hear after he dies, but also has fantasies about what will be written on his tombstone in the future.

Lin Li currently has two plans, both of which are four-line epitaphs. 【372-7

Plan one is "Adventure Mode," "Mini-games," "Puzzle Mode," "Survival Mode." It's best to place three vases as offerings, labeled "Options," "Help," "Exit." Right, the flowers in the vases must be fake, otherwise Lin Li is afraid Zhou Bao will steal them to eat.

As for plan two, it is "Route 1 (Smooth)," "Route 2 (Busy)," "Route 3 (Smooth)," "Route 4 (Congested)," and then one's own funeral portrait becomes a photo of a little girl sincerely seeking a sugar daddy.

"It's quite good, but not suitable for Grandpa," Daoist Shanqing laughed. "If Grandpa's corpse were to move, that would not be good news, because it would mostly be related to the remnant souls of the Demon Race; it would be their unusual movement."

After pondering for a while, Daoist Shanqing shook his head:

"I can't think of any preferences, nor any dislikes. Why care about affairs after death? How about this, the process, the eulogy, and so on—Lin Li, feel free to improvise..."

Daoist Shanqing paused suddenly when he reached this point, frowned slightly, and decided to retract:

"Lin Li, you must absolutely not improvise."

Lin Li: "?"

His own personality felt like it had been insulted.

"Follow the basic funeral process of your world. If there is anything you need me to cooperate with, just tell me when the time comes," Daoist Shanqing said firmly.

"Alright Grandpa, I understand."

Subsequently, Lin Li held a minimalist funeral using some items already on-site—attempting to complete this task today, but as expected, the system did not recognize it, failing to meet its requirements. Perhaps it felt he wasn't 'earnest' enough.

Only next time, then.

For the remaining time, the three of them continued doing their own things.

Daoist Shanqing uninstalled "Human: Fall Flat" directly from the computer and continued to drown to his heart's content in the ocean of Soulslike games.

And Deng Wen also learned from Daoist Shanqing's example, molding a computer chair, but he didn't play games; he continued watching documentaries.

Oh, he also found "Human: Fall Flat" on his computer and uninstalled it too.

And Lin Li continued to absorb spiritual energy.

Nowadays, the spiritual energy Lin Li has refined within his body has already exceeded the level of a normal Qi Refining perfection in the cultivation world.

Theoretically, he could undergo Foundation Establishment.

Lin Li had already finished translating the Foundation Establishment method while in reality, and during the gap between evening self-study and the social gathering today, he had made an attempt.

But because cultivators in the cultivation world generally take Foundation Establishment Pills or other elixirs to assist in the process—low-level Foundation Establishment Pills are very common in the cultivation world, but for Lin Li, anything the system doesn't give, no matter how common it originally was, cannot be obtained.

And lacking the assistance of these key items, Lin Li's progress along the method for Foundation Establishment was naturally exceptionally slow; now he didn't even know if he would succeed in the end.

But it didn't matter; Lin Li had always been very Buddhist about things, just taking it one step at a time.

"Grandpa, Senior, I'm leaving first."

As the time approached, Lin Li bid farewell to the two and returned.

Feeling the astonishing spiritual energy content inside the "Departing Fire Sword-Nurturing Gourd" in his hand, Lin Li couldn't help but smile.

Just like this, and it was still not in a fully saturated state.

The internal space was indeed still large; although it lacked the ability to liquefy spiritual energy, even in its gaseous state, there was a lot of it.

The "Random Quality Spirit Stone" could now retire; the spiritual energy currently inside the gourd alone was worth at least dozens of "High-Grade Spirit Stones."

After washing up, he placed an order on his phone for some of the materials for the task—the reason it was only some was because most of the items needed for a funeral were still more efficient and practical to order in reality.

Lin Li planned to go consult about it during the day and prepare as much as possible.

After doing this, Lin Li continued his own mountain of accumulated cultivation tasks.

【Fruit of Persistence】 was still hanging over his head; Lin Li looked forward to his efficiency in both sleeping and cultivating slowly improving along with it, so he could free up more time.

Cultivating until midnight, the new week arrived.

Lin Li used his weekly free refresh opportunity on the "Great Creation Pill" slot.

—Although the "Random Quality Spirit Stone" was already dispensable, the "Great Creation Pill" was even more useless to Lin Li.

【You have refreshed a "Universal Magic Treasure": 500 system currency (daily purchase limit 1), replace?】

【"Universal Magic Treasure": Use on any magic treasure you have owned, and that treasure will turn into the corresponding treasure, inheriting its previous refinement level.】

Holy shit, a Ditto.

Although the price was a bit expensive, it could be considered worth more than the cost—the "Seven-Colored Treasure Garment" from before sold for even more. In the future, after obtaining such a magic treasure, turning it into a treasure of that level would definitely be a profit.

Even if he couldn't obtain such a magic treasure in the future, he could buy it now and let it turn into a "Substitute Jade Buddha."

This was equivalent to having one more chance to die, and it would be a "Substitute Jade Buddha" refined to the maximum.

If nothing unexpected happened, this "Universal Magic Treasure" would permanently reside in this slot; Lin Li would not replace it again.

Anyway, his historical total system currency acquisition was about to reach 3600, unlocking the sixth product slot.

Of course, also because he planned to keep it permanently, there was no point in buying it right now.

Maintaining a minimum reserve of 250 system currency and then buying it when needed would suffice—Lin Li had a half-price coupon, so he could get one for as low as 250.

The 26th, Tuesday, sunny.

Today's evening self-study would mark the start of the school's selection exam for the competition.

Lin Li arrived at the classroom carrying breakfast.

"According to unofficial history, when Cao Mengde and Liu Xuande were boiling green plums to discuss heroes, there was another hidden story."

"At that time, Cao Cao asked, also testing Liu Bei: 'Xuande has traveled far and wide, surely you know the heroes of the present age, please try to name them'."

"After Liu Bei could not decline, he had to speak. He first said, 'Yuan Shu of Huainan, Yuan Gonglu, has sufficient troops and provisions, can he be a hero?' Cao Cao laughed, 'A skeleton in a grave, I will surely capture him sooner or later'."

"Liu Bei then said, 'Yuan Shao of Hebei, Yuan Benchu. According to unofficial history, he once traveled to famous mountains and great rivers, discovering that time differed in various places, so he visited teachers and sought friends, researching day and night, and finally found the place where the meridian begins! Later generations, to commemorate his achievement, called the place where the meridian begins the Prime Meridian. With such an achievement, can he be a hero?'"

"Eh, no, is it going too far for you to tell unofficial history inside unofficial history?" Wang Ze, who was still listening to the story in the back row, couldn't help but interrupt to roast him.

"Shh, don't interrupt." Bai Bufan was dissatisfied with this. After Wang Ze made a gesture that he would shut up, he continued to slap the 'gavel':

"Picking up from just now, Cao Cao laughed: 'Those who believe in unofficial history are doomed; listening to too much unofficial history will rot your brain. I have seen this Yuan Shao in reality; he is stern in appearance but cowardly at heart, fond of schemes but lacking decision-making—not a hero'."

"Liu Bei racked his brains and then said, 'Sun Ce of Jiangdong, Sun Bofu, leader of Jiangdong, full of vigor, is he a hero?' Cao Cao laughed, 'Buy a pair of tenacity boots, and when he sails over to ram you, use a Flash; once his combo fails to control you, he's useless—not a hero'."

"Subsequently, Liu Bei mentioned several others, but none could gain approval; all were denied by Cao Cao. Feeling puzzled, he asked directly who in his mind could be called a hero."

"Cao Cao then spoke that line passed down to this day: 'The heroes of the world today are only you and me!'"

"Liu Bei was shocked upon hearing this: 'I admit I am a hero; I, Uncle Liu, am indeed awesome, but what does Mendel count for? He's just a pea-grower, why should he be mentioned in the same breath as me? If you ask me, peas should still be planted behind sunflowers'."

"Cao Cao, who had intended to engage in mutual commercial flattery with Liu Bei, found after hearing this that the other party had no place for him in his heart. He was instantly furious, slammed his rice onto the table, and prepared to have people come in and kill Liu Bei."

"But it happened to be raining, and thunder was crashing, so Liu Bei, having sensed something, used the cover of the thunder to unknowingly smash open the sewer with a stone and escaped the Peach Garden through the sewer. History calls this 'The Cao Mansion Redemption'."

"Later on, this event was even remade into a movie by the United States, though the US adapted it a lot for localization, so everyone might not be able to tell."

"That's way too much fucking adaptation!"

Lin Li didn't stand there blankly after hearing this; he just smiled, carried his breakfast to the back row, and roasted.

"But to be honest, Cao Cao is the only strategist, military expert, and schemer in the Three Kingdoms; he had ambition and knew how to use people."

Lin Li then said with some emotion:

"When I was a kid, I also liked Liu Bei and didn't like Cao Cao, because many times the story's perspective started from him, so I subconsciously identified as the protagonist."

"But later, as I gradually grew up and thought about more aspects, I slowly started to like Diaochan."

Everyone, who thought they already knew what Lin Li wanted to express, was stunned upon hearing this.

"(；o_o)?"

"Lin Li, how the fuck did you end up choosing C between A and B?" Wang Ze laughed and scolded.

"Because I grew up and thought about more aspects, that's why." Lin Li shrugged as if it were a matter of course.

"The Lower House has started working, has it!"

"Just tell us if you like Diaochan or not."

"Well, I do like her, hehe."

"Daddy."

While giving breakfast to Zhou Baowei, Zhou Baowei grabbed the breakfast with his left hand and Lin Li's hand with his right, affectionately trying to awaken fatherly love.

"State your business first, then I'll consider whether to acknowledge you as my son." Lin Li was very vigilant.

One must always be wary of a suddenly affectionate son, because it usually means he wants to make you explode gold coins.

"Nothing much," Zhou Baowei rubbed against the back of Lin Li's hand like a kitten, "Brother, can you help this little glutton grab a meal at noon? Meow~"

"Fuck!!! Baowei, what the 'beep—' are you meowing for!"

Lin Li jerked his hand away, completely unable to hold it together, feeling a chill. The impact of Zhou Baowei learning to meow was no less than the time Lin Li learned that Bai Bufan had learned to meow.

—Once, Lin Li asked Bai Bufan to play games, but Bai Bufan said he was in the hospital and couldn't play.

Lin Li naturally wasn't low-EQ, so he immediately asked how he ended up in the hospital and what happened.

Bai Bufan replied that it was from petting a cat.

If one is allergic to cat hair, there really is no other way.

But after this comforting message was sent out, Bai Bufan said he wasn't allergic to cat hair.

Bai Bufan: "I suddenly wanted to pet a cat today, but I don't have a cat at home, so I compromised; I started meowing and petting myself. After my family discovered me, they thought I had mental problems and sent me to the hospital for treatment."

Lin Li was shocked by the truth at the time; this wasn't even a question of whether to send him to the hospital or not. Lin Li felt he should have been sent to a temple or Taoist monastery for exorcism.

Of course, with such bullshit coming out of Bai Bufan's own mouth, it was clearly just a life story he fabricated to refuse Lin Li's invitation to play games.

Damn him.

"Because I'm a little glutton, please, I want to eat." Zhou Baowei had a thick skin (physically), so he just smiled and continued to beg.

"What do you mean you want to eat?" Lin Li didn't understand, so he frowned and asked.

"On the second floor of the school cafeteria, they launched a new stone pot bibimbap this week. I heard it's delicious, so Baowei wants to eat it.

But that thing is on trial sale now, and they don't provide much every day. There are also other people who want to eat it, and you know Baowei's movement speed; he can't grab it at all, so he plans to entrust it to you."

Wang Ze, who was messing around with his step-son Haoyang, turned his head at this time to answer for Zhou Baowei.

"Mm-hmm." Zhou Baowei nodded like a chick pecking at rice, "That's it, brother, please, I really want to eat it. I'm counting on this bite to live this week."

Not expecting it to be such a thing, Lin Li found it somewhat funny and gave him the middle finger:

"Breakfast relying on me is one thing, now lunch also has to rely on me? Why not let this bastard Wang Ze bring it? As a sports student, isn't that what he's for, to play a role at times like this?"

"The person who respects sports students the most in Class 4." Zhang Haoyang gave a thumbs up.

"Wang Ze runs to the Grade 11 teaching building every morning and afternoon as soon as class ends; where would he have time to help me grab food."

Zhou Baowei replied with sarcasm, then looked at Wang Ze with contempt and continued his attack:

"They are together every day; I estimate that in a few weeks, these two will be sick of each other. In the end, Senior Sister Qian will not have a good outcome, and Wang Ze will not have a good death."

"Fuck, I'm directly going to have a bad death?"

Wang Ze stopped messing with his step-son and instead came over to choke Zhou Baowei's neck, laughing and scolding:

"Baowei! You don't know shit! Not sick of each other at all; brother is very happy every day now, wishing we could stick together every day.

If you ask me, that 'seven-year itch' is just not loving enough. As long as there is love, there won't be such a situation for any number of years."

Bai Bufan, who was burying his head in eating breakfast, looked up upon hearing this, looking at Wang Ze with contempt, disdain, and scorn:

"You're just talking without back pain; you haven't experienced it and you're here pointing fingers, thinking you know a lot?"

Since having a girlfriend, being besieged by everyone had become a daily routine, and Wang Ze was used to it—it was just envy, jealousy, and hatred, so he just switched to choking another neck:

"Damn it, Bufan, don't act like you know a lot."

"I do know."

Bai Bufan, whose neck was being shaken back and forth by Wang Ze's hand, responded confidently.

"You, a virgin, know shit." Wang Ze sneered.

"I really know," Bai Bufan pulled Wang Ze's hand away, his expression also serious: "Don't talk about the seven-year itch; if you ask me, it will itch in seven months, so Wang Ze, your remaining time is actually not much."

"This is my real case, a lesson of blood and tears."

"You even have a case study?" Wang Ze said in surprise.

"Yeah, my Ponyo at home, it's only been seven months, and at first it was indeed like glue and lacquer, but now every time I finish using it, I get especially, especially itchy.

This isn't even a question of love or not anymore. I'm not lying to you, I still have love, but it's useless; I'm still itchy!

Wang Ze, why don't you perform stopping the itch with love for me to see?

It's already like this after seven months, let alone seven years? If seven years really passed, let alone itchy, it would have rotted away..."

Bai Bufan's voice was full of sincerity and regret, as well as mockery of Wang Ze's big talk.

Wang Ze: "(；o_o)?"

"Wait, what kind of seven-year itch is this, you fucker!"

Coming back to his senses, Wang Ze was already laughing until he was half-kneeling on the ground, at this moment forcefully beating Bai Bufan's butt through the gap between the chair back and the seat.

"It itches after seven months, isn't the quality too poor? You didn't buy one of those 4.9 yuan free shipping ones from Pinduoduo like me, did you?" Lin Li was somewhat puzzled.

"I definitely have nothing to say about my Guan Yu, top-tier!" Bai Bufan shook his head in denial, then looked somewhat disappointed: "Although I don't want to admit it... but maybe... my Guan Yu is too weak..."

Lin Li: "Then did you fucking buy it and never wash it?"

Bai Bufan was stunned for a moment: "Fuck? This needs to be washed?"

"..."

"..."

"Then you can last seven months before it starts itching, Bufan, your second brother is already invincible. No sarcasm, it's truly invincible." Lin Li gave a thumbs up.

"Hahaha—"

"Hahaha—"

The boys in the back row burst into laughter.

Actually, it wasn't just the boys; Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana, those two who had pricked up their ears that had already been shaped by Lin Li and Bai Bufan, were critically 'eavesdropping' on the two, and were also secretly laughing.

The two looked at each other and nodded.

This seat really couldn't be changed!

Once they moved to the front row, where else could they listen to these god-tier conversations?

Therefore, even the class monitor's request wouldn't work.

Of course, friends who often offer sacrifices to the Evil God know that after listening to the Evil God's whispers too much, there is a price; the body will undergo irreversible changes.

Nowadays, when Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana chat with classmates and friends, they occasionally blurt out some "Lin-speak and Bai-words," and even after blurting them out, they don't feel anything is wrong.

It wasn't until those people pointed it out that they suddenly realized, oh, this doesn't seem to be human language.

One can only say there are gains and losses.

The only thing Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana can do is try their best to avoid actively interacting with these two Evil Gods, thereby reducing the speed of their own corruption.

Don't you see, now when they pass notebooks backward, they refuse to even turn their heads.

—The four of them have sat as front-and-back desk neighbors for a long time, but on the surface, they really aren't close.

"So Daddy Lin, Brother Lin, Lin Li, help me buy this stone pot bibimbap, please—otherwise I'm going to meow again—" After laughing, Zhou Baowei begged, keeping his original intention in mind.

Lin Li sighed; the piglet he raised, he'd just have to spoil it. Anyway, he would take back everything he lost during the New Year.

"Fine, fine, fine, I'll buy it, I'll buy it."

So Lin Li nodded and said confidently:

"It's just grabbing a meal; all it takes is hands."

#Bai Bufan feeds a vegetable to a quality-ist#

#Bai Bufan tricks a coser into cosplaying a speed bump#

#Bai Bufan sprinkles itching powder on the back of armless Lin Li#.

Whether Bai Bufan would be that evil, Lin Li didn't know, but Lin Li did know that he was about to become armless Lin Li.

But the problem didn't lie with him.

On the podium.

"Semi-conservative replication, this is the core of the core, remember this experiment—Meselson and Stahl used nitrogen isotopes to label..."

—This was the last class of the morning, but the biology teacher was dragging the class.

Just how happy everyone was listening to the biology teacher talk about his college experiences, that's how sad they were now.

Lin Li's gaze looked outside the classroom; students from Class 5 or Class 6, who had already finished class, were passing through the corridor one after another, heading toward the stairs.

As for Zhou Baowei's face, it was the despair of a soul being extracted.

"My stone pot bibimbap... my stone pot bibimbap... gone... I will never laugh again..." Zhou Baowei hummed in his mouth.

"Alright, let's talk about this one last time..." But the biology teacher seemed still unsatisfied, and after finishing a small point, he intended to continue.

"Dear teacher, darling, don't drag it out, you've been dragging the class for over an hour." In order to defend his own hands, after thinking about it, Lin Li said with a slightly raised volume.

The biology teacher was stunned upon hearing this, subconsciously looking at his watch, and asked in confusion: "Isn't it only two minutes?"

"Teacher, you dragging the class for two minutes means the whole class of forty people has been dragged for eighty minutes; isn't that two classes?" Lin Li was neither humble nor pushy, not a human.

"Eh?" The biology teacher was stunned for a moment, instantly pointing at him like a husky.

You brat! Reversing the heavens and the earth!

(End of chapter)